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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Just to add.
We are going to disney with my father in law.
Dhs step mom/half sister (his real dad recently passed away) live in florida nearby to disney and we will not be seeing them that trip.
Its not right for us to take time away from a trip with fil to see his sister/step mom
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Posted 5/2/15 12:11 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by Katareen
You were wrong to invite friends on a vacation specifically planned to spend time with family.
Yes, a cruise is open to anyone, but so was the resort you stayed at for your honeymoon I'm sure. Would you be happy if your DH invited his buddies along??
Well I have to tell you that we have gone on a cruise with someone who WERE on their honeymoon. We planned an anniversary vacation and they asked if they could come with US. We had a couple of dinners together and some shows and out to drink but the majority of the time, they did their thing, we did ours. We never found it a problem and didn't think it would be again to invite these friends and others who have friends who have kids who are all the same age.
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| Posted 5/2/15 12:12 PM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by haveaquestion
Inviting friends changes the dynamic of the trip. i would be angry.
Can I ask how so? If the "family" time has been established that you can do what you want all day BUT have dinner together every night, what would be the difference if you brought friends along or met new people and did things with them or with your family at other times?
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| Posted 5/2/15 12:13 PM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by Sweetlax22
I guess I am the minority , but the more the merrier. I am also coming from a place where I see my family often so "bonding"time isn't necessarily an issue. I also happen to enjoy my family memeber's friends as I am pretty sure they do mine so that helps a bunch too.
That is my point, you can bond at anytime IF you make the time. This person never makes the time.
I have included this person to all things with these friends BUT they never include us with theirs.
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| Posted 5/2/15 12:15 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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Family Vacation...and friends
I think the other family has to have a different perception of the trip than you do. They must think inviting friends will affect them or maybe they they are being protective of the grandparents.
Or, maybe for some reason they are always unhappy with you, lol.
Message edited 5/2/2015 1:22:55 PM.
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| Posted 5/2/15 1:19 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
I say the more people the better.
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| Posted 5/2/15 3:44 PM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by pumpkinmom
I think the other family has to have a different perception of the trip than you do. They must think inviting friends will affect them or maybe they they are being protective of the grandparents.
Or, maybe for some reason they are always unhappy with you, lol.
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| Posted 5/2/15 4:00 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Family Vacation...and friends
Totally wrong. If it was a family trip the it should remain a family trip. I wouldn't think of inviting friends no matter what the pre arrangement. My opinion- wrong
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| Posted 5/3/15 3:09 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Totally wrong and if I were the other families (BIL and daughters) I would be pissed. I'm sure they have friends too - you are not the only one. However, they prioritized this as a family trip and didn't invite their friends. Obviously inviting friends totally changes the point and dynamic of the trip. I would not be happy to have shelled out that $$ for a family NOT friend or individual vacation and then find out that YOUR friends and YOUR KID'S friends are crashing the family vacation.
Not sure why you asked for advice either as 90% of this thread has told you that you were wrong and you argued with each and every one of them.
Message edited 5/3/2015 3:54:17 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/15 3:53 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Family Vacation...and friends
It depends on the family and it depends on the friends.
Everyone can go back and forth, but it sounds like you already invited the friends and if they're going you can't undo it. I wouldn't harp on it or let it ruin your vacation. Just try to make a huge effort to spend time with everyone. I'm sure at the end everyone will have had a good time and all will be fine.
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| Posted 5/3/15 4:31 PM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by itsbabytime
Totally wrong and if I were the other families (BIL and daughters) I would be pissed. I'm sure they have friends too - you are not the only one. However, they prioritized this as a family trip and didn't invite their friends. Obviously inviting friends totally changes the point and dynamic of the trip. I would not be happy to have shelled out that $$ for a family NOT friend or individual vacation and then find out that YOUR friends and YOUR KID'S friends are crashing the family vacation.
Not sure why you asked for advice either as 90% of this thread has told you that you were wrong and you argued with each and every one of them.
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| Posted 5/3/15 5:31 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Yes, it's "open" to anyone, but this person intentionally invited friends along on a "family" vacation? I would be annoyed.
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| Posted 5/3/15 6:25 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
It wouldn't be a big deal in my family.
We have gone on vacation every single year of my life with a group of family friends and we have always invited various friends and extended relatives to join us. We always eat dinner together (its a resort place) and during the days some things we do together and some things we don't during the day.
If I was going on a cruise with my parents and my brother, we wouldn't think anything of one or more of us inviting other friends. That's just the way we are though - we are all quite social so definitely have the more the merrier mentality.
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| Posted 5/3/15 6:27 PM |
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Poppyseed79
LIF Adult
Member since 10/14 935 total posts
Name:
"Reg"
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by Serendipity
Totally wrong. If it was a family trip the it should remain a family trip. I wouldn't think of inviting friends no matter what the pre arrangement. My opinion- wrong
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| Posted 5/3/15 7:33 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Family Vacation...and friends
Honestly, I would be pissed. It's a family vacation, not family and friends. Especially without having asked EVERYONE first. My family has gone on big family cruises every other year for the last 10 years (likely no more now that grandma is no longer with us), and if someone had invited friends, it would have been very strange and uncomfortable..... And everyone else would have been upset. The purposes is family bonding. I don't care if we see each other weekly already.
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| Posted 5/3/15 7:54 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
I think you were wrong for inviting friends without running it by family beforehand.
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| Posted 5/3/15 9:13 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
IMO if you plans a trip WITH people, as a group, it's rude to include OTHER people without agreeing on it with the group.
I'm not offended by anything, and I'd be put off if my sister suddenly invited her crew of friends on our planned family vacation ......
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| Posted 5/4/15 9:21 AM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Thanks everyone for your input.
I get both views and I know I sound stubborn and already set. lol.
There is just so much more to this than written down and we are very outgoing people that are very social and while we like doing the family trip, there was a lot that wasn't so "family" about it so I never thought it would be a problem to invite others as they wouldn't hurt the family dynamic as much as it would help it. I would never take away from the family for friends and the friends know that.
The other part of the family who had a problem with it goes on vacation every year with their friends so they wouldn't think to invite them so they don't get that sometimes others only have one or two chances in life to do so. If the other part of the family included family also in other things, it would be different but overall, they only invite their friends to things like going in the pool, going places, etc. I get the separation of family and friends but when it is always only friends, that is not right either. Why do you need to wait a year or two or three to have time with your family when you can make the time the rest of the year? It was actually like pulling teeth to get this part of the family to GO on a family vacation because they chose their friends before family every year. Now they have a problem with it when they finally decide to do something with the family.
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| Posted 5/4/15 10:17 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
If it was planned as a family vacation and one part of the family invited friends, I'd be pisssed.
It's kind of saying "I'm willing to spend the minimum required amount of time with you, but I'm going to have my friends there for some "real" fun."
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| Posted 5/4/15 10:23 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19454 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone for your input.
I get both views and I know I sound stubborn and already set. lol.
There is just so much more to this than written down and we are very outgoing people that are very social and while we like doing the family trip, there was a lot that wasn't so "family" about it so I never thought it would be a problem to invite others as they wouldn't hurt the family dynamic as much as it would help it. I would never take away from the family for friends and the friends know that.
The other part of the family who had a problem with it goes on vacation every year with their friends so they wouldn't think to invite them so they don't get that sometimes others only have one or two chances in life to do so. If the other part of the family included family also in other things, it would be different but overall, they only invite their friends to things like going in the pool, going places, etc. I get the separation of family and friends but when it is always only friends, that is not right either. Why do you need to wait a year or two or three to have time with your family when you can make the time the rest of the year? It was actually like pulling teeth to get this part of the family to GO on a family vacation because they chose their friends before family every year. Now they have a problem with it when they finally decide to do something with the family.
I am going to be honest with you. With what you wrote, their finally deciding to come and spend time with family, your inviting friends seems to be an enormous slap in their face. It feels so much worse and vindictive to me with your additional info, like you want to somehow prove to these family members see I have friends too. Smh.
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| Posted 5/4/15 10:38 AM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone for your input.
I get both views and I know I sound stubborn and already set. lol.
There is just so much more to this than written down and we are very outgoing people that are very social and while we like doing the family trip, there was a lot that wasn't so "family" about it so I never thought it would be a problem to invite others as they wouldn't hurt the family dynamic as much as it would help it. I would never take away from the family for friends and the friends know that.
The other part of the family who had a problem with it goes on vacation every year with their friends so they wouldn't think to invite them so they don't get that sometimes others only have one or two chances in life to do so. If the other part of the family included family also in other things, it would be different but overall, they only invite their friends to things like going in the pool, going places, etc. I get the separation of family and friends but when it is always only friends, that is not right either. Why do you need to wait a year or two or three to have time with your family when you can make the time the rest of the year? It was actually like pulling teeth to get this part of the family to GO on a family vacation because they chose their friends before family every year. Now they have a problem with it when they finally decide to do something with the family.
I am going to be honest with you. With what you wrote, their finally deciding to come and spend time with family, your inviting friends seems to be an enormous slap in their face. It feels so much worse and vindictive to me with your additional info, like you want to somehow prove to these family members see I have friends too. Smh.
Actually that is not what I was trying to do as every vacation I have gone on, we have invited friends AND family, except the last one which was designated as a family vacation as it was never done, due to the other family never wanting to make the time away from their friends. I never left anyone out.
This is not the first family trip though so I could see what you are saying if it was as that really wouldn't be fair if it was meant as a just for family.
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| Posted 5/4/15 11:32 AM |
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by kahlua716
If it was planned as a family vacation and one part of the family invited friends, I'd be pisssed.
It's kind of saying "I'm willing to spend the minimum required amount of time with you, but I'm going to have my friends there for some "real" fun."
Yes, I totally agree with that and the first one that we finally were able to do that, WAS planned as just family. I didn't and wouldn't have invited anyone to that as it took SO many years to finally convince the other family to go with family and NOT friends.
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| Posted 5/4/15 11:33 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Wrong. Too complicated to include others.
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| Posted 5/4/15 11:35 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
I hesitate to answer this post because after reading the responses, I feel like you came on here and asked a question but then became very defensive and almost annoyed with the responses on here. Then why bother really asking other opinion if you truly feel like your actions were justified?
IMO, regardless of how many cruises you and your family have gone on and what not, its clear that your family had intended this to be a FAMILY vacation. You shouldn't have extended that invitation to your friends without first talking to your family. It's now gone from a family vacation to a "everyone invites whoever they want" vacation and I can completely understand your family's frustration. IMHO that was rude of you and yes, a slap in the face to your family.
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| Posted 5/4/15 11:58 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Vacation...and friends
Posted by sunnygirl
Honestly I would be pissed like we weren't enough for the family to spend time with and or they didn't really want to spend alone time with us, they need their friends there too
That's exactly what i would think
Sorry, but I think you'd be trying to squeeze in too much by having friends there as well. I'd be constantly worrying about who i was spending the most time with and was either party noticing or getting offended, rather than enjoying my time with family that i was supposed to be with originally.
ETA, i saw your responses and still stand by this.
It's one thing if you were going to a family bbq and wanted to invite some friends because your family is social and inviting and you think they would all get along.. but a cruise is a much bigger vacation and basically says to your family 'hey, these people are more interesting, so we're inviting them as well because we don't want to spend time with you'.
By having your friends there, you're taking away time you could be spending with your family. Whether you would be together or not after dinner or during the day is irrelevant - you've already made that clear that you don't want to be with the family by having another option that they don't have.
Maybe in your family that works (as evidenced by some responses that said in their family it would be ok), but from what you've posted, it seems as if it doesn't and you're now just trying to justify your decision.
Message edited 5/4/2015 1:37:50 PM.
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| Posted 5/4/15 1:30 PM |
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