Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Many prayers

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Posted by Holier-Than-Thou

Many prayers

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

i'm so sorry your DH is being a butthead michelle! i agree - if you have enough to pump, DD defffffff has enough to feed. babies are much more efficient at getting milk than machines are.

as for last night - it might've been her witching hour. the bottle might've just been a coincidence or a one time thing that soothed her. babies are not perfect all the time, they become monsters now and then . you just gotta hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. don't doubt yourself or your abilities. go with your gut and if you feel like you can continue doing this, stand your ground and tell your DH how you feel. i think it's a THOUSAND percent common to have friends/family members tell you that your kid is starving if you're BF'ing. i know i've had alot of those comments. i made sure out of all the people that told me that, DH would be the lasssst person to say it to me. i told him that it hurt me and i needed his support, not his criticism.

as for websites, kellymom is your best friend! and as for what you should be doing, keep pumping like you are and feed her the freezer stash when all soothing attempts fail...but don't use that as a plan every time. she's prob just going thru a growth spurt!

big hugs mama! you're doing greattttttttt!

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Those first 6-8 weeks of nursing can be HELL!!! I nearly gave up everyday because of the struggles DS and I were having. We made it through and now I am nursing a happy and thriving 15 month old.

Like other posters have said if she has enough wet and poopy diapers she is getting enough food.

How often are you feeding and for how long? DS was a grazer at the boob and at that age would nurse for about an hour on each side For my own sanity our PED had me nurse him for 20minutes on each side and then follow up with a 2 oz bottle and not nurse him again for 2 hours.

Some days it was tough to make that 2 hr mark because he really just liked to hang out on the boob! He would whine and fuss and then be happy as a clam as soon as he was nursing again. Thing was most times he didn't really nurse, he just liked to sleep at the breast.

If you think he is having gas or bloating issues you could try removing dairy and see if you notice a change after a week.

I would bring DH to the PED with you and have him/her go over BFing and the struggles mom and baby can have in the beginning. He MUST be on your side right now. BFing can be so very tough right now, between that and your hormones being out of wack, he NEEDS to support you and trust that you are doing what is best for the baby. If DC doesn't have enough wet diapers, then absolutely give her more bottles, but if she is getting enough than this is just a normal part of infancy. DH putting this added stress on you can affect your milk supply. Have DH talk to your PED so he understands that his actions are bad for you and your daughter.

I'm sorry you are going through this - I promise once you and baby get into a groove BFing will be the easiest and most relaxing part of your day

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Mich I don't really have much more to add. But I had and still have very little support with breast feeding. No one in my family or my DH's family has done it, and they drive me up the wall telling me that my DS is hungry all the time. It is so frustrating not to have support.

As for the gripe water vs. gas drops. Gas drops do nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, for Evan. I swear by gripe water and I don't think I would have survived the last 3 months without it.

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Michelle, if the little princess is gaining weight then you are doing a fantastic job!! I was only able to pump for 6 weeks and then stopped, so I don't have advice for you. Lots of hugs for you and prayers for DH... sounds like he will need them if he keeps this up! Stay strong sweetie!

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

kellymom just posted this link on her FB and it made me think of your situation

http://www.southtownstar.com/lifestyles/ludwig/2111954,032110ludwig.article

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Go with your instincts on what you need to do. Do not worry a lot about using your stash of breastmilk. You will produce more as she needs more. I did not read all of the responses above but you may want to keep in mind that if you go to exclusively pumping, you are likely to produce less. Still, that is what I would have liked to do. BFing did not work out beyond just a few days for me so I see you as having accomplished so much to get to 6 weeks!

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

When I gave my first daughter a bottle early she found it easier than nursing. I am thinking she is getting less from the breast because she might have nipple confusion. It happened to my DD and I had to just nurse more often till she got better at it. Its so worth the effort. I wanted to quit many times with #1 and #3 but it eventually works and the benefits are great. If you dont continue, feel good that she got the most important weeks. Call a lactation consultant too. They can come to your house and it might pay for itself. All my best. Breastfeeding a few month old is so so easy and great.

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

I just wanted to say that your dedication is amazing. Many women may have already given up, especially with a DH, who is clueless....lol. It sounds like you are doing a great job. I only lasted BF'ing for a VERY short time, and never pumped, so I don't really have anything on that. If she is really thriving nursing during the day, can you nurse her all day, and give a bottle that last feeding before bed? Then you can take a break, and DH can give it to her?

Either way, i am sure you will work something out that is great for you, DD, and DH...

Many

Re: EBFing with a clueless DH? And a NB Question.

Michelle you're doing AWESOME!!! I think all the advice so far is great, so I won't add to any. But I must say - even to this day, if Riley is having a fit over something, Brett always says "She's hungry." I swear, that's the only answer he can think of. And I remember how that felt when I was BFing...I did not want to be told she was miserable because she was hungry because I felt like all I was doing was feeding her anyway!! It made me feel like I didn't know what I was doing...I remember that well!

The first few weeks are SO HARD (as it's been said)...your confidence can be so low. I swore up and down I suuucked as a Mommy for months because I felt I just didn't know how to read her and how to make her happy 100% of the time. Which is silly...newborns are like that, you just can't read them and you do the best you can. If you care enough to do your best- then you are a GREAT MOMMY! And I know you are! Sticking with BFing is one of the hardest things to do...and you're doing it!!!