DONE

Hi everyone! I feel like all my posts are about DH but he is not making this easy. I got a smiley yesterday and I think I O today or tomorrow. He is too SAD to BD because there is something going on in is family. No one is sick or anything but his family is not being nice to him at the moment.

Is it me or shouldnt he still BD? We just got into a huge fight b/c he thinks I am selfish. Im selfish, so now this month is a complete waste and I have to wait WEEKS at the slim chance of getting a BFP. This will be our 6th month and I did have a M/C so I dont care how sad he is I have been sad for over 9 months because of the M/C. Am I wrong? I am hysterical crying writing this. I think I have to get out for a little and will go to the gym now. I feel so so so mad at the moment it is not fair. He is saying that I should be concerned about him b/c of his family stuff and I am but why the heck cant he bed? I want to give up on TTC because I just cant take it anymore.

Thanks for reading this. I just have to get this off my chest and I cant talk to anyone b/c we are TTC in secret due to the M/C.

I think I should leave this board and go join the relationship board. Sorry for being a huge downer.

Re: DONE

I am sorry. What if you do go to the gym and let him cool down. Do you think he will change his mind? Did you guys BD last night?

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Im so sorry. Maybe you will have to just let this month go..I know, that is extremely hard but you cant force him to BD if he is not into it due to other problems. He may just need some time. I do understand your frustration and sadness....all I can offer is lots of

Re: DONE

I'm sorry...I was having awful arguments with DH the first time around, awful awful fights...I can probably do a search on some posts very similar to this...he' s still a tiny bit annoying about it and how it's not fun anymore etc, but he is MUCH better...I think they use a lot of BS excuses bc they're scared out of their mind to become dad's etc..I would be just as upset as you if not more to be honest.. I'm sorry!!

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Yes we did last night but I had to beg beg beg because of course he was sad. He said he doesnt care about TTC right now because of his dumb family. I am going to the gym now but I know he wont change his mind. He is very very stubborn and annoying and is really mad at me. I am filled with hatred at the moment and having a TTC meltdown!!!!!! Since I have a normal family I cant understand these things. I would continue to BD when O'ing no matter what else was going on.

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DH and I have had some bad fights about this too, he is still pretty scared about being a dad, I think is part of it, and he is also upset that he thinks I only want to to get pregnant, not because I want him. That's not really true, but he thinks it is.

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Thanks for making me feel a little better! Im glad your DH is better this time!
My DH is just very very immature and doesnt handle stress very well. I am hating his family so much for ruining this for me. I feel like he is heartless right now because I had a M/C and DNC and have been really sad b/c my ODD has passed recently.
Oh well I guess I just entered into the 6WW.

Re: DONE

so sorry to hear about this. Hope things turn around and he reconsiders. If not, next month!

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That could very well be but Im not sure. 2 days ago my DH told me he wishes we started TTC when we got married instead of waiting. He was so so upset when I had the M/C and the past 2x I got AF. Of course that could all be acting and he was happy deep down. This is the 3rd month he promised to get a SA since I picked it up from the Dr two months ago. I thought he would try hard this month b/c he is dreading the SA. But why do I think I will be posting soon that he is refusing? At least there are some good shows on tonight to keep me occupied! Giuliana and Bill is premiering and it is about her M/C so I think I will watch it to see their experience.

If I can offer advice to everyone on this board just lurking or waiting to TTC for whatever reason - Dont wait to TTC unless it is a REALLY good reason. You never know how long it will take you shouldnt postpone unless the reason is really good!!! If I can go back to the time when I was afraid to TTC I would have started earlier.

Re: DONE

I'm so sorry you and DH are fighting. Hopefully the BDing last night was all you needed for a BFP this month. Hopefully your DH will come around and you can BD tomorrow AM?!

Lots of and !

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im sorry!! if i were you i would prob try and seduce him and be all super sweet and try to make him feel better..

if that doesnt work at least you tried!

i know it sounds nuts, but just think how much better he will feel in 2 weeks when you might get your bfp!! it will make all the family problems go away!

hope that works!!

Re: DONE

Thanks you guys! Bd in the am is not an option b/c I am out of the house at 6 something and I couldn't get dh up on a normal day let alone after a fight. Being sweet won't work my dh is really really mad at me for being selfish. That is exactly what I think, me getting a bfp will make his family thing less painful. He is just so self absorbed he isn't thinking that way right now.. tomorrow is out too I am guessing so I will only have bd once since smiley. On a positive note I will be $25 richer next month b/c I'm not wasting money on opk. My dh was in an accident which led to a 3 month delay post m/c which is also why I'm so livid. I feel betrayed and feel like this is the most hurful thing he could do to his wife grieving a m/c. Geeze it just bd I'm not asking for something crazy. Part of me keeps thinking how easy life would be without kids..................

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JMO of course... but if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you be furious with your DH if he was pressuring you to BD (whatever the reason) and you were feeling down/sad/upset and not feeling up to it?

I completely get the pressures of TTC - I've been there, done that. It stinks when you don't get the timing right. But it would stink even more to have him resent you because he thinks you don't care about his feelings, and only care about making a baby.

ETA: Also, have you talked to him about how he feels about the m/c? That was devastating to you, I know, but I am sure it was devastating to him as well... maybe he isn't ready? He could be making excuses, I don't know, but communication really is key here.

Message edited 10/12/2010 8:43:57 AM.

Re: DONE

Last night certaintly made me doubt dh's true feelings about ttc but I did go to my pre ttc checkup in june 2009 so if he did change his mind I just wish I was told earlier. My original due date has passed so he has had a while to grieve and if he needs a year I just think that is ridiculous. I believe in moving on and not dwelling on the past. Honestly I can't picture the roles reversed as I wouldn't miss bd on smiley days for anything.

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hmmm this is tough..

id prob be mad as well just cause this whole ttc thing has been very very frustrating..

but i guess it depends on how serious this thing at home was..if he was truley upset by it then i guess he needed the space..

but i agree with the pp bout communication..def talk 2 him..tell him how u r still upset over the mc and how if u r ready to ttc there is going to be times when u have to bd..make sure u guys both know how the other one feels and if this is what u both 100 want

i hope u feel better