Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Would you?

I told my hubby No way in he*l we were doing Thanksgiving since we have Arianna to look after and he agreed..

Then his mom called (him of course not me - the cook)

She wants me to make the Turkey. He told no but she says its not like its that hard and its just the turkey we dont have to 'make the other stuff'

Uhmm like warming up a can of corn and green beans is SOOOOOOOO hard?

Here's the scenario..

I have to buy the turkey, herbs, veggies for aromatics.

I have to buy two pies, Apple and Pumpkin, plus whip cream

I have to pack the turkey, herbs, aromatics, pies, tools, pan, knife and containers into my truck

I have to drive from Huntington to Hempstead on Thanksgiving day to my BIL

I will most likely be forced to wait until the MIL and her hubby get there.

Once they get there I have to prepare and cook the turkey (we're talking about a half hour total pre-cook)

Once the turkey's done we all eat and then we have to sorta hang out for another 15mins before the pie (my MIL's hubby is a freak and sweats profusely after he eats so he hates to sit still and rushes all of us )

We have to clean up, pack up left overs and our own stuff.

(From beginning to eat to final pie, about 45mins)

Then we leave. Dont linger, just go home (its very rude actually)

All and all about 3hours maybe? 4hrs with travel?

No crib, no PnP, no bed in close proximity, no one wants to care for the baby (we all got together two weeks ago and they just sorta wave at AJ)

This is also the woman who until two weeks ago hasnt shown any interest in her one and only grandchild.. and..... grrrrrrrrrr.... her hubby actually told me.... *STEAMED*
"Yeah, she looks pretty now I guess. I know people said she looked pretty in the hospital, but I really didnt see that.. now she looks almost pretty."
Say Wha?

Now you want me to cook for you?

But my family honor and manners say I should (argh darn my father for raising me with manners) but honestly.. should I just say we really can't manage this right now???

Oh and when my hubby still said no, she said "Tell Veronica we'll pay for it, just go pick it up" grrrr

Like I'm always complaining about money first.

Sorry I know I always mention money being a reason we can't do stuff (like go to Hawaii or Arizona or Hong Kong at the drop of the hat) but honey Im not married to the rich man.. YOU ARE! GRRR

I *hate* thanksgiving! grr

I frankly dont want to go there at ALL!

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

I am sorry that your family is going you suach a hard time. That being said, DH and I made thanksgiving last year when DS was 3 1/2 months old. It was the best - we had a lot of fun. It was a little harder to do than the year before, but it was still great.

Can you just get a precooked bird?

Message edited 11/13/2008 10:39:54 PM.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

I don't think the holiday prep is the issue here, I think the issue is your DH's family

We hosted Christmas last year with a 7 month old and it a great time! But like I said, YOUR issues do not have to do with the prep

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Message edited 11/13/2008 10:47:12 PM.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

I know our family loves our children but they rarely ever ask to hold the kids. I usually just gave DS/DD to who ever or asked the family member to take them so I could do something else. I think that is what you need to do.
How about making the turkey at home and bringing it there cook and all you have to do is warm it up in the oven or even cook it half way through. You could also to all the prep work on Wed. maybe when she is napping or when you put her to bed so all you have to do on Thursday is pack the car.
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but preparing/cooking with 3 month old is a lot easier than preparing with a 1+ year old who is holding onto your leg.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Posted by KateDevine

I don't think the holiday prep is the issue here, I think the issue is your DH's family

We hosted Christmas last year with a 7 month old and it a great time! But like I said, YOUR issues do not have to do with the prep

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Posted by KateDevine

I don't think the holiday prep is the issue here, I think the issue is your DH's family

We hosted Christmas last year with a 7 month old and it a great time! But like I said, YOUR issues do not have to do with the prep

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Well, the part about not knowing what to do with a turkey is pretty much true, from my experience. One year, we had left over turkey from T-giving. My MIL FRIED it and added soy sauce. It was so freaking nasty, no one could eat it.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Posted by Superkat

Well, the part about not knowing what to do with a turkey is pretty much true, from my experience. One year, we had left over turkey from T-giving. My MIL FRIED it and added soy sauce. It was so freaking nasty, no one could eat it.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

i'm doing it this year for the first time with a 4.5 month old. and we're having about 15 people. should be interesting....

ETA: just read the whole thing. wow, they have some nerve. say no and stick with it. why can't SIL make it? why don't you just pick up some pies or make a side dish for them?

Message edited 11/14/2008 8:30:42 AM.

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Know your limits and stick to your guns. Tell them next year you'll be there and if you do end up going offer to bring a pre-cooked honeybaked ham and that's it!~Forget cooking a freaking turkey and driving it around town-that's insane-o!

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

I know it is tough, thats why we didnt host Thanksgiving last year (ds was 5 months) but we offered to make a turkey and a side dish...

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Pre cooked/presliced bird from deli or zorns...

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

I 'guess' I can understand why they want you to make the turkey.........Noone else is 'allowed' to make the stuffing other than my one Aunt b/c hers is amazing and Thanksgiving isn't the same w/o it.

It sounds like you don't want to be bothered doing it FOR THEM b/c they're on your sh*t list (and from what you said, I don't blame you)

I can tell you what I would do (damn my parents for teaching me to 'do the right thing' regardless of what ungraeful people deserve!!) I'd make the stupid turkey and smile while I was there and then come home and b*tch and moan about it to all of my friends who would understand .....
And so begins the holiday stress !!
Good Luck !

And as for someone watching the baby while you do all of this, hand her over to your DH - or just GIVE her to MIL or SIL and say I need you to hold her please -

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

There's no way I'd do it. With all due respect to your DH, they sound like a-holes. If I showed at all it'd be with goodies from a bakery, let them order a cooked turkey or ham and give you a break. You'll have YEARS of holidays ahead of you, and maybe more babies, how fun will it be to do this with 2 or 3 more little ones running around?

*Let me add though that if they were NICE people, I'd do it in a heartbeat!*

Re: Doing Thanksgiving with a 3month old...? VERY LONG VENT

Maybe I am not as big a person as some people, but there is no way I am prepping and cooking anything at someone else's house with a 3 month old. Having to pack the car up with the baby's stuff when I am merely a guest is enough for me to handle, I am not going to bring a ton of stuff to prepare dinner.

If I were hosting at my own house and had some help, with the convenience of having all the baby's food, gear, toys, etc. at my disposal, MAYBE I would cook for a holiday. I say do what is best for you, DH and the baby. There is always next year.