does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

when you go out with your kids..do you always run into the person with the best kids

i feel like all my friends with kids have perfect babies

whenever i see them it is all she/he is great sleeping through the night forever..she can entertain herself..rolling over at 4 weeks..he does not cry at all etc etc etc

i went to the park to see my old softball team play and i saw the wife of my friend and her daughter who is 3 weeks younger than my twins

they both looked so polished and put together..baby was like a statue did not make a peep

and there i am lugging my double snap n go..one kid crying other threw the blanket on the floor

i looked like the old witch from the princess bride..

i mean we r doing great,it is hard with the twins,he is a tough baby but we r holding it together but do all these people really have the perfect non crying,sttn,angel kids

anyone know what i mean lol

does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Yes, I do! I don't have twins obviously but my 13month old still doesnt STTN, has tantrums galore and I look like a hot mess on a daily basis. Its hard not to compare to others but you are not doing anything wrong at all! People always like to speak highly of their LOs so they will tell you all the good things they do. And personally I much rather get the extra 30 mins of sleep then to spend that time blow drying my hair and putting makeup in the AM so I am ok with looking like a slob!

Message edited 5/9/2013 2:41:48 AM.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

First of all twins is a whole different ball game compared to someone with one DC or even 2 of different ages. I used to think its really not much harder but we have friends with one DC our twins age and we get together often. I watch them and realize twins is harder. So in my eyes keeping things looking "together" is twice as hard.

As far a being put together yourself. When they were young I always felt guilty using time to blow my hair put etc or I would rather more sleep. When they were a little older I started to care more about my looks again, but deep down I am a Tshirt and jeans girl

does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Don't let the appearance fool you. Gavin looked like that perfect kid. But once we crossed the threshold into my house all hell broke loose.

And some moms want it to look perfect and remember all our kids are geniuses......lol

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

I go through this exact thing with my girls. I'm the one running around, yelling, saying NO, my little one swinging from the ceiling, while I'm in sweats with my hair up etc.
Everyone else's kids sit quietly, listen, dressed nicely...

I always think its something I'm doing wrong!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

you have twins woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill be honest. when i take tiny tot for a walk and bump into moms i keep my mouth shut. i think they would smack me if they found out how she is
i also don't dress her up when i take her out. depending on the weather ill have her in a onesie (with a blanket) or a jumpsuit. she needs fresh air and a swing. it aint a fashion show

does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

And in all honesty I feel that people who sear their lives are perfect and on the outside appear that way its NEVER like that at home.
I know PLENTY of women who pretend to be in happy relationships, perfect kids or just seem to have it all together working and being a mom. Then slowly that facade starts to slip or you hear things and you realize all of it is a glass house =/ Its all lies they tell themselves to get through the day. =/

Dont worry your kids come first. I have 1 DC and there are days I feel so overwhelmed I wanna cry. So I cant imagine having a twins. Dont worry about being perfect, just be HAPPY!!!!!!!! THATS PERFECTION in my EYES! =)))

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Sweetie, you have twins first of all. And second it can't possibly be perfect for anyone all the time! DD is a pretty good baby; happy, smilely, giggly. But she does cry, throw toys on the floor, is difficult to get to sleep... doesn't always STTN. Yesterday I had errands to run and kept her in PJs all day! No one is perfect.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

You have two babies, so cut yourself some slack when it comes to seeing someone with only 1.

I have 3 and 5 year old boys. I have met many kids/ parents over the years.

Some are easy infants or toddlers, but they will give their parents grief at some point(teen years, etc).

Or, if one kid is easy going, the next will be a maniac!

No one gets off the hook easy.

does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

My DD pretty much cried nonstop until she was four months old. That's how I remember it anyway. And now at 7 months she still wakes up several times a night. Last night someone with four kids was telling us that he and his wife NEVER lost out on sleep. They just happened to get FOUR great sleepers from birth. I guess some parents just luck out in certains aspects of child rearing. But I'm sure all parents feel challenged and overwhelmed at some point each day. I can't imagine how much tougher it must be to raise twins. I'm sure you're doing an awesome job!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Apples and oranges my dear! Have you compared yourself to any other sah multiple mamas? I think you'd all look the same!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Yes.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Half those people with perfect kids are full of shit. Believe 1/4 of what youre told.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Posted by JennZ

Half those people with perfect kids are full of shit. Believe 1/4 of what youre told.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

A) Twins= whooole different ballgame!

B) They just got an easy baby. Those people usualy get a demon child for the 2nd child and say things like "If the first was like the second child, they would have been an only child"

C) Babies who are good while out are often unruly at home. I know this from experience.

My girls are angels when Im out. Not a peep. Ive had them out to the outlets for 4 hours, they looked around, napped, ate and were perfect. Im home with them at night and a few hrs before bedtime is sometimes torture! (well not torture but VERY crazy). They whine, cranky, dont nap, yell if I hold the other, eat like messes, knock the bottle out of my hands then yell for it. I actually take them out often to run errands at this time because it keeps them occupied and passes time.

One is more whiney and more attached than the other and is a bad napper, but they do pretty much sttn and are good babies. Even so, having 2 is going to be harder.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

LOL yes! Everytime I go out I feel the same. But you have twins..I cannot even imagine doing it with 2!!!!! i give you tons of credit, so don't be so hard on yourself!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

You have twins! Having 2 kids is infinitely more difficult than have 1.

When I had DS#1, I thought I was a mess but in hindsight, I was still relatively polished. I was always prepared with the diaper bag. I always packed snacks. DH and I could take turns getting ready, going out, etc. DS was my first child and he had a lot of nice clothing. When he was home, he wore comfortable clothes but whenever we went out to see people, he was dressed very nicely.

Everything changed when DS#2 was born.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Amen sister (and I only have ONE hehe). In fact my bestie is a stay at home mommy of boy/girl twins who are 5 months old and she makes it look so easy (also she looks like she never had twins). However, even though her babies always seem easy going I know for a fact how hard it must really be for her as occasionally she does let her guard down haha. She is just way better then I am at being and looking put together on 3-4 hours of sleep per day. I don't know how she does it but clearly I'm just not up to par
You are DEFINITELY NOT alone!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Posted by JennZ

Half those people with perfect kids are full of shit. Believe 1/4 of what youre told.

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

they're probably lying to you

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

don't worry, this happens to me all the time... though I probably make that super mom feel uncomfortable from my stares but I am in awe at how people can be all put together (no stretched out necklines on their tshirts from grabby hands, accessories that do not get turned into mommy-leashes for babies, hair that doesn't look like it is rebelling against the bobby pins so desperately trying to tame it, how she reaches into her bag for a snack and doesn't have to dump half of it on the ground). But I have a funny feeling that a lot of women feel and think this way, always comparing ourselves to others and being our own worse critics; well before motherhood and well after I am sure.

Also as a fellow twin-mom I can say it is totally different from a singleton; not to say harder, just different, so there is no use in comparing (or at least that is what i keep telling myself )

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

Guess what? Perfect babies are boring and give you nothing to talk about..just fluff! My DH apparently was bad baby who never slept and was always in trouble. To this day everyone in his family and extended family has a laugh about everything he used to do. On the other hand his brother was an angel who always slept…and no one has anything to say about him. LOL! So anyway I hope we all look back and laugh at our kids and their crazy behavior!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?

thanks so much everyone!

Re: does this happen to anyone else? am i doing something wrong?