Do you think I'm overreacting?

I work as a BCBA so I'm around autism and disabilities all day. My one son receives EI for torticollis. He has grown leaps and bounds, extremely bright, developmentally advanced cognitive wise and when evaluated scored 2 months ahead of schedule even with adjusted age, and I see him do many things that are way ahead of time. My other twin will smile periodically, but we have to make him smile, he won't look at us and smile. I've noticed him holding his thumb between his fingers and have also noticed he doesn't always track objects, follow sound etc. in a sense he seems like he's avoiding it and not showing interest. He likes to just sleep a lot and is overall a content baby so I just don't know if he is being lazy. I work with both my twins daily on developmental tasks, some days for a few hours others for about an hour. I work 2 12 hour days and 3 days I work 3 hours in the evening after my husband gets home. Throughout the day I work on physical, cognitive, language and social things with them. I'm concerned because I don't see consistency or progress with certain things. Based on assessments I use at work he's about a month behind from his adjusted age with certain tasks. He's 15 weeks and 11 weeks adjusted. Do you think I'm overreacting? I called to initiate EI for him but my husband things I'm overreacting, and I don't know if I am because of what I do for a living.

Update: I had my son evaluated. The speech therapist noted he was not responding to sound. He was followed up by an ENT and no response to sound noted again and he failed the hearing test. He passed the newborn hearing screening so this is even more shocking. His receptive language scores were so low and EI wasn't going to qualify. I ended up fighting them because the scores were so low and he was approved. The ENT is recommending an ABR with sedation so we can confirm if he is deaf or not I'm devastated there is discussion of cochlea implants. We will know for sure once he gets the ABR. I'm glad I made the call early and listened to my gut. I knew something was off. So mommas... always go with your gut!

Message edited 5/31/2017 6:24:32 PM.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

Yes I think you are overreacting. He is only 15 weeks old!

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

To me it sounds like you're overreacting, and probably hypersensitive to these things because of your field of work. At the same time, you may be so accustomed to seeing delays, and not the range of typical development.

That being said, I would discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Posted by EricaAlt

Posted by phoenix913

Posted by olive98

Yes I think you are overreacting. He is only 15 weeks old!

I agree.

This! I know being in the field can be stressful, but I don't think at that age you can really test them on delays yet unless it's really that noticeable and they're not reacting to anything. At that age I played music for them and let them play in the bouncy, play mat, etc. Just talked to them and fed them. THat's it. LOL! Just enjoy and let them be babies. They're not supposed to do much at this age anyway. DS1 had some delays, but was on target with sitting, crawling and walking. DS2 has no delays, but did everything later only bc he's lazy sometimes and just a different child. You can't compare. Do you have siblings? I'm sure you guys aren't the same at all. I know I'm not like mine.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Message edited 4/25/2017 10:23:04 AM.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Yes, you are overreacting. If he isn't meeting his milestones and your ped is concerned, then you know you aren't overreacting. It's hard not to do. I used to work as a pediatric OT so I totally get being neurotic with milestones. He's still in his infancy. I don't think think visual tracking really starts until 3-4 months. I think a lot of what you are describing doesn't typically occur consistently until he's older. Give him some time. Don't freak out yet.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

You're definitely overreacting based on your line of work and experience. To be honest, I'm not even sure how you can tell whether a 15 week old is extremely bright or well ahead of the curve. There's such a wide range of when babies reach various developmental milestones. I'd be a little concerned if DS wasn't smiling at all, looking at you or reacting to you, but beyond that, it sounds like he's within the normal range of what he should be doing. It's hard to not compare one child with another, especially when they're twins, but your boys are different and will do things at their own pace.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

My short answer is, yes you're overreacting.

When I was a new Mom I was always falling into the vortex of noting those early milestones and panicking if my DD wasn't hitting every single one. Now that I've got a wild and crazy 2 year old I can't even tell you when she first rolled over or started tracking objects or grabbing for toys. It all seems quite silly in retrospect. I understand your concerns (especially given your line of work) but I would take a deep breath and just enjoy this time with your babies! I think 15 weeks is WAY, way too young to detect any of the issues you are concerned with.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by EricaAlt

Posted by phoenix913

Posted by olive98

Yes I think you are overreacting. He is only 15 weeks old!

I agree.

This! I know being in the field can be stressful, but I don't think at that age you can really test them on delays yet unless it's really that noticeable and they're not reacting to anything. At that age I played music for them and let them play in the bouncy, play mat, etc. Just talked to them and fed them. THat's it. LOL! Just enjoy and let them be babies. They're not supposed to do much at this age anyway. DS1 had some delays, but was on target with sitting, crawling and walking. DS2 has no delays, but did everything later only bc he's lazy sometimes and just a different child. You can't compare. Do you have siblings? I'm sure you guys aren't the same at all. I know I'm not like mine.

At that age all I "worked" on with my DD was surviving

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Posted by EricaAlt

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by EricaAlt

Posted by phoenix913

Posted by olive98

Yes I think you are overreacting. He is only 15 weeks old!

I agree.

This! I know being in the field can be stressful, but I don't think at that age you can really test them on delays yet unless it's really that noticeable and they're not reacting to anything. At that age I played music for them and let them play in the bouncy, play mat, etc. Just talked to them and fed them. THat's it. LOL! Just enjoy and let them be babies. They're not supposed to do much at this age anyway. DS1 had some delays, but was on target with sitting, crawling and walking. DS2 has no delays, but did everything later only bc he's lazy sometimes and just a different child. You can't compare. Do you have siblings? I'm sure you guys aren't the same at all. I know I'm not like mine.

At that age all I "worked" on with my DD was surviving

Ha ha! Yes! I would end the day saying... I kept them alive another day.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Do you think I'm overreacting?

I am a huge fan of EI and always err on the side of evaluating rather than waiting but in this case I think you're overreacting. At 11 weeks I was doing a little tummy time here and there as much as they'd tolerate it but aside from that I was just getting through the day and trying to enjoy them. Since you already requested the eval I would go through with it and helpfully they will reassure you and then maybe you can relax more. I would try to back off from "working" with them and just love and enjoy them. I totally understand not wanting to look back and wish you'd gotten services sooner but I also wouldn't want to look back and wish you weren't constantly evaluating your own kids rather than just being their mom.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Lol. Yes. Babies have different personalities... and there is a large range in when they hit milestones.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

You are overreacting. I think you should relax and just enjoy time with you children instead of working on tasks with them-tummy time and story time are the only "work" necessary at their age. Be their mom. Enjoy this stage--if you are really worried talk to your pediatrician but it does not sound like there is a pressing issue.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

I agree with the others and think you're overreacting. I completely understand where you're coming from because I'm a school psychologist and am always debating calling EI for one thing or another! My husband thinks I'm crazy because I'm always looking out for something to be "wrong" with one of my kids. Hugs to you!

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Apart from working in the field, your anxiety is also probably heightened by the fact that you have twins so it's hard to resist the temptation to compare what one does vs another.

I agree with what everyone else has said.. just enjoy them. If you're truly concerned and can't let it go, then do the evaluaution. I think you just need to make a conscious effort to not take your work home with you.,

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

Enjoy this time

Do not worry about these things now

The time will fly by and they won't be this small again

This is times for cuddles. And firsts. And fun stuff

Take a deep breath

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

And I do t think a 15 week old can be lazy

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

And also torticollis is common with twins

For no other reason than being squished in the womb

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

You may be, you may not be.
Let it go for now. at the 6 month mark reevaluate. If at 6 months, still behind milestones and such or you noticed a big difference between them... call for EI.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

As a special ed teacher, I understand your concerns. I think you are probably over analyzing and you should give it some time...you know there is a range and kids acquire skills at different rates. At the same time, trust your instincts and if you have concerns, enjoy your babies but also keep an eye on those things. I can say that I let something that always bothered me go for way too long with my daughter because I was convinced I was being paranoid and it turns out that I was right...

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

At this point, I would only be concerned if they weren't doing the minimum milestones - where it says talk to your doctor if they aren't doing them. And even then, maybe the doctor would consider the adjusted age to be the reason. I'm not in the field so I'm not sure if you're evaluating based on minimum or average.
I know it must be difficult not to compare twins with each other.
When you say your DC is avoiding, is it maybe overstimulation?

ETA- I don't think there is anything wrong with getting your DC evaluated for EI if you are concerned.

Message edited 4/25/2017 5:58:26 PM.

Re: Do you think I'm overreacting?

At 15 weeks with my first DS I was cognitively delayed, sleep deprived and couldn't even begin to assess my baby. Is he eating/breathing/eliminating...awesome. Win! I think its a bit early to be that intensely concerned. All babies have different personalities and hit different milestones at their own pace. If the pediatrician becomes concerned then I would have it evaluated but I think 15 weeks seems way to young.