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Do you spank your child?

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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice

Member since 5/05

9612 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you spank your child?

nope

Posted 6/23/10 12:09 PM
 
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twiceasnice
LIF Adult

Member since 2/08

1126 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you spank your child?

Posted by DRMom

Posted by nrthshgrl

We disagreed on it too...but to answer the question we have during toddlerhood but it didn't help with what we were trying to teach them...um..not to hitChat Icon

Now that they're older, threatening is the way to go.

From experience, whatever way you do decide to punish, consistency is the key.



Thats our problem. I tend to do time outs. DH would rather spank. H eis home with them quite a bit alone and Declan pulls Ronan's hair. My DH's other idea is that we should pull Declan's hair. Which I think is crazy



Sounds like my DHChat Icon

In the toddler years, He was big on spankings, I was big on timeouts. The problem was we both disciplined differently and DS started to play on that a bit. When DS started to become more aggressive, (ex> swatting at the dog he felt he was bad) The spanking came quickly to an end and times outs were duelly enforced. The 2-3 yo time frame is tough and figuring out the best discipline approach is different for each child. Mine wanted to test every which way until he just finally gave up.

Posted 6/23/10 1:16 PM
 

tryingfor3
LIF Zygote

Member since 6/10

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Re: Do you spank your child?

While we exhaust all other options first (time outs, loss of toys, loss of privileges) if it comes down to it, DH and I do not hesitate to smack a bottom. We only use our hands and only on a clothed bottom. These smacks are typically reserved for dangerous situations and defiant behavior. We don't spank often but if the situation calls for it or all else fails, we will spank.

I used to think I would never spank. I love and respect my parents, but spankings when I was raised (70s and 80s) and spankings today are much different. My siblings and I received the old fashioned over the knee spanking (and not always with just a hand, and not always over a clothed bottomChat Icon ) and that is something I knew I would never do to my own children. I don't see anything wrong with a few smacks to the bottom if the situation truly calls for it.

Posted 6/23/10 1:24 PM
 

kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son

Member since 2/06

2747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Do you spank your child?

DH and I disagree as well. I feel that nothing good comes from spanking a child. Where as finding the function of a problem behavoir and replacing it with an appropriate behavior teaches the child to obtain what they need in a positve way. I am totally against spanking, there is no reason for it, it is counterproductive!

A child will also eventually tune out yelling and screaming as well.

FYI, my parents never spanked us and we did not run wild. All my mother had to say was that she was "disappointed" with a decision we had made and we were crushed.

Posted 6/23/10 1:28 PM
 

CookieMomster
Golden

Member since 5/09

6414 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Do you spank your child?

When I was a kid I was abused something terrible by my grandmother. From being pulled down the hall by my hair at the age of seven, to her chasing me with a belt that left welts on my legs for weeks. I think spanking is all how you define the term. I define anything other than a swat here or there abuse. A spanking to me is a swat on a clothed butt. Have I done it to Teddy? Yes when he ran out into a busy street, he got a swat on the butt for that. THat was the only time and it was just last month. So needless to say it's not my first nor only option. I do agree that every child responds differently to different forms of discipline.

Posted 6/23/10 1:28 PM
 

tryingfor3
LIF Zygote

Member since 6/10

14 total posts

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Re: Do you spank your child?

Posted by CookieMomster

When I was a kid I was abused something terrible by my grandmother. From being pulled down the hall by my hair at the age of seven, to her chasing me with a belt that left welts on my legs for weeks. I think spanking is all how you define the term. I define anything other than a swat here or there abuse. A spanking to me is a swat on a clothed butt. Have I done it to Teddy? Yes when he ran out into a busy street, he got a swat on the butt for that. THat was the only time and it was just last month. So needless to say it's not my first nor only option. I do agree that every child responds differently to different forms of discipline.



I totally agree that every child responds differently to different forms of discipline. Our older DC has only been "spanked" twice because time outs and loss of toys typically are enough to put an end to the behavior. I am so sorry for the abuse you had to endure. While I do not feel I was abused, my parents were strict. We were never spanked out of anger (which was sometimes worse having to wait for your spanking in your room) and we were always told why we were being spanked prior to the spanking and told we were loved afterwards, but I do remember being embarassed by the spankings. We had a wooden paddle designated for serious offenses and we were put over the knee. I will say that I deserved every spanking I received, but this is not how I choose to raise my own children. My quick smacks over a clothed bottom are enough to get the point across.

Posted 6/23/10 1:51 PM
 

MrsS2005
Mom of 3

Member since 11/05

13118 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Do you spank your child?

No. I feel that there are more effective ways to discipline a child.

Posted 6/23/10 2:43 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Do you spank your child?

I give one smack on the hand if he is continuing to do something after I told him to stop, and continuing would be dangerous - touching something, running somewhere where there are cars. Otherwise we do not hit and I never did a tushy spank....

Posted 6/23/10 3:05 PM
 

MelToddJulia
Love my Family!

Member since 7/05

29064 total posts

Name:
Mel

Re: Do you spank your child?

A smack on the hand if they do something wrong, but thats about it, and its not often....
I don't believe in hitting, I feel it only teaches them to be scared of the parent and it can lead to them thinking its ok to hit others! I think talking it out works best for my kids. JMO on it.

Posted 6/23/10 3:14 PM
 

Belladonna219
HOT MAMA

Member since 2/07

2642 total posts

Name:
Belladonna219

Re: Do you spank your child?

I first talk/threaten DS, remove him from the situation and if that does not work and he is doing something that will put him in danger or somebody else he will get a spank on his coolie.

Posted 6/23/10 3:23 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: Do you spank your child?

Yes I do, when the situation warrants it. Doesn't happen very often so when it does he knows he did something VERY bad and better stop immediately.

The last time my son got spanked was 3 days ago: we were crossing Queens Blvd, the most dangerous street in all of Queens and he decide to try to physically fight me on how I was holding his hand and which side of the stroller he wanted to hold on to. Immediately got spanked on the bottom and that cooled him right off.

In the words of my friend, "A good smack on the bottom sobers you right up"

Posted 6/23/10 3:45 PM
 

AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!

Member since 5/05

4377 total posts

Name:
MaMMa

Re: Do you spank your child?

A smack on the "tush"? - absolutely.

When I feel its appropriate. It doesn't happen often but I am no means ashamed of doing it.

Posted 6/23/10 4:11 PM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

Member since 2/06

8879 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you spank your child?

No, we never have. My parents never spanked us either though, so it's really not something I ever think to do. I also think it could be confusing--we tell him we never hit anyone, even when we're angry, so why would it be okay for me to do it to him by that rationale?

Time outs, taking privileges away, leaving places if he's acting up, most seem to work.

Posted 6/23/10 4:27 PM
 

johnsae
Sip.

Member since 3/06

18677 total posts

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Re: Do you spank your child?

Posted by MelToddJulia

A smack on the hand if they do something wrong, but thats about it, and its not often....
I don't believe in hitting, I feel it only teaches them to be scared of the parent and it can lead to them thinking its ok to hit others! I think talking it out works best for my kids. JMO on it.

See, I want my child to be scared of us....(not on a regular basis, but when it counts). My Dad always used to say to me, "You better have the fear of god in me if you do something wrong" and I agree with that thought process. I don't mean in an abusive way, but knowing that if you don't listen, you will be punished and you better be scared to act out.

Posted 6/23/10 4:47 PM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: Do you spank your child?

Only for serious offenses. John got spanked for yanking his hand from mind and running down the street as a car was pulling into a driveway, just missed getting hit by the car. He was 3. His 2nd spanking was in April, he heard the ice cream man and yelled for me, I was 2 weeks post partum from a c-section and couldnt move that fast I told him I'd be right down, as soon as the word "down" came out I heard my door close, I ran out and he was in the middle of the street and he did indeed get a spanking.


Its not something I like to do and I dont beat him like I see people do in stores, nor do I spank him for acting like a 5 year old. He hasnt gone near the street since so maybe as much as i hate to admit, the fear of a spanking has deterred this.

Posted 6/23/10 4:54 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Do you spank your child?

Posted by johnsae

Posted by MelToddJulia

A smack on the hand if they do something wrong, but thats about it, and its not often....
I don't believe in hitting, I feel it only teaches them to be scared of the parent and it can lead to them thinking its ok to hit others! I think talking it out works best for my kids. JMO on it.

See, I want my child to be scared of us....(not on a regular basis, but when it counts). My Dad always used to say to me, "You better have the fear of god in me if you do something wrong" and I agree with that thought process. I don't mean in an abusive way, but knowing that if you don't listen, you will be punished and you better be scared to act out.



that is exactly where dh and i differ.

I think a little fear is needed...he absolutely thinks it is sick for a kid to fear their parents.

Posted 6/23/10 8:35 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: Do you spank your child?

Nope. I won't say never either. I do think its necesarry sometimes depending on the situation, but we have never gotten to that point yet (hopefully not ever). Chat Icon

Posted 6/23/10 8:48 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

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Re: Do you spank your child?

No. Luckily other forms of discipline have worked. This would be a very, very last resort for me.

Posted 6/23/10 9:12 PM
 

DmarieK
My loves!!

Member since 1/06

9203 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you spank your child?

I would have to hit Rylan VERY hard for him to know I mean business and that I would never do. "Spanking" is something we always did for fun when playing/wrestling around or when he's laying on me i'll continuously "spank" his hiney with both hands. I've tried to spank him for real but I never did it hard enough...he always thinks i'm playing with him and laughs.

I just posted on FB how he is being soooo loud in bed. He's talking to himself but screaming and keeps waking the baby up. I went in and told him if he doesn't stop I was going to spank his hiney. He stuck his butt in the air and spanked his own hiney while laughing.

I think there's nothing wrong with ONE smack on the butt or hand...anything more than that I don't believe in.

Posted 6/23/10 9:35 PM
 
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