Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I think I'm just having a moment, but sometimes I feel like I put so much pressure on myself to be the best mom. I'm just in a funk, but I've always been type a and a perfectionist.

I'm a sahm mom so I'm with with dd 24/7 and I'm constantly putting pressure on myself. Am I playing with her enough? Am I reading to her enough? Talking to her enough? As you can tell by my posts we are struggling with the new introduction of table food.

She's is a very happy girl and sleeps great at night but I can't help but second guess and question everything I do.

Seeing how she is with milestones, etc etc etc.

I don't think I'm alone in this and it comes with ftm territory??

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I'm the same exact way. For the past 19 months, something I thought I would enjoy soo much, has just been anxiety ridden from my own doing. I'm not living in the now and enjoying her in the moment because I'm always focusing on other things.

Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I think when you SAH it's easy to get stuck in your own head. I've definitely had moments where I felt the same way, one moment I'm fine and then next I start thinking about things differently and wonder if I'm doing a terrible job. DD is almost 2 now and I haven't felt that way in a while now so hopefully it will get better for you too! I found that the best thing I could do was get OUT of the house. I love going to our local library and really enjoy getting to socialize with other moms. It's nice to see that other people mess up or slack off on things too and they're kids are surviving just fine. I've been taking DD since she was 4 months old and have met some awesome moms that I see regularly. If you can find some moms in your area with similar aged kids who are supportive, laid back, and drama free that is priceless.

BTW, if you have a happy child that is probably your best indication that you're doing a great job!

Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Thanks girls. It's def more like that in the mornings when I'm in the house. And she def is a very happy baby with a great disposition. Even strangers stop me to say that in public. So that always feels good, like I'm doing a good job bc she is always smiley (well most of the time, she is still a baby with fussy moments). I think I just have unrealistic expectations and put so much pressure on myself. I don't want to mess her up and want to do right by her.

I almost always get out of the house once a day to meet up with friends, class, library, walks, etc. That def helps and I have made a lot of great friends and met good people who are drama and judgment free which is huge.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Of course your post has me thinking now. I could easily rattle off 5 things just today that could make me a bad mom and it's only 9am. I'm a weird combo of type A should be perfectionist but too lazy in the end personality. I don't want to be perfect bc I don't want DD to grow up putting that kind of pressure on herself. Of course I want to do my best and I want her to be her best but I know way too many people with major anxiety and I don't want that for her. I want her to have compassion for others when they make mistakes and be okay with herself when she's not perfect. Just another perspective to think about...the pros of not being perfect!

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

There is no such thing as perfect - ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids.

I beat myself up a lot ....not to be 'perfect' or better than someone else ...but to be the best version of myself

But that's how I've always been, school, work, marriage, motherhood ........it applies to all

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

You're definitely not alone! I question my parenting skills on a daily basis. Especially when I see kids around the same age and they speak more or just seem more advanced than my son, I go home and beat myself up for it. I think as mothers we will unfortunately always feel like we're not doing enough.
Here's something I read that made me laugh a lot and feel better (hope it posts!)


http://theuglyvolvo.com/2014/01/31/what-i-do-all-day-when-i-am-home-with-the-baby/

Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I am a PTWM, and i always feel like i never do enough. I have a 2 year year old and a 4 month old. I worry that i do not split my time with them fairly. I feel bad when i have to clean the house or cook and take time away from them. Then when they are asleep i am exhausted and can barely have an adult conversation with my husband.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I don't and I'm not saying this to sound HTH or rub it in your face that I don't

I work with children and over the years have seen so much abuse and neglect. I know how fortunate my son is to have me and my husband both to both care for him and provide for him.

I am not a perfect mom and I am certain I could do things better but I love my son more than anything, he is my priority and his fathers priority -- a kid can't ask for more than that.

I think all of you ladies should feel the same. Here we are
Everyday posting questions and learning how we can be better mothers, how we can ensure that our children are devolping and achieving to the best of their ability-- that makes a great mom

Message edited 4/2/2014 9:54:24 AM.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I obviously don't have to tell you you are not alone! I question my skills as a parent every day. I come from a place of having been certain - I mean CERTAIN - I would never have, never wanted any kids...until one day I did.
Part of my reasoning was that I would never be able to do it. I knew I was not made for it, could never handle it, would be terrible at it. So, some (many) days I feel like I was right all along and that I will never be the kind of mom my kids deserve. So, I try and remember that I give them all the love I possibly can. And, really, I think that's the most important thing - that they feel loved and cherished and cared for.
As for are you playing with, reading to, talking to her enough - I saw this on FB the other day, and while I personally can't say I agree with all of it, it makes a lot of sense (I apologize if this has been posted.)
Childhood

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Posted by MarisaK

There is no such thing as perfect - ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids.

I beat myself up a lot ....not to be 'perfect' or better than someone else ...but to be the best version of myself

But that's how I've always been, school, work, marriage, motherhood ........it applies to all

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Love the huff post article !!

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Posted by DiamondGirl

I think all of you ladies should feel the same. Here we are
Everyday posting questions and learning how we can be better mothers, how we can ensure that our children are devolping and achieving to the best of their ability-- that makes a great mom

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I put SO much pressure on myself. I was stressed for a while and constantly snapping at my kids. It was NOT fair. I realized, I was putting too much importance on my job. I put my phone away when 5 rolls around and actually am PRESENT with them. I play with them, go for walks, culdle etc. In the morning they come in my room and cuddle before we start our days. I do the best I can and try to always prioritize them. If I do that I feel good about my Mom skills:) I do remember when they were babies feeling like it was so vital that they learn every day, what to do with them etc. All babies really need is food love and a walk every day or two! All the other stuff works itself out

Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Nope. I do my best and it is what it is. And really what is a perfect mom. My mom wasn't perfect and I think I turned out pretty dam good.

To whose standard of perfect????

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Funny, I just bought you this tea mug...

Message edited 4/2/2014 2:14:36 PM.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

I am very self-critical. After work, I have limited time with my DD, and I keep it very low key. We just play with her toys and read books. No special crafts or activities, etc. Sometimes I think I should be doing more, but I just don't have the energy. Then I read articles like this, and do a reality check:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bunmi-laditan/im-done-making-my-kids-childhood-magical_b_5062838.html

ETA: Sorry, just saw this was posted already!

Message edited 4/2/2014 2:49:01 PM.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Thank you all who responded.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Posted by DRMom

I put SO much pressure on myself. I was stressed for a while and constantly snapping at my kids. It was NOT fair. I realized, I was putting too much importance on my job. I put my phone away when 5 rolls around and actually am PRESENT with them. I play with them, go for walks, culdle etc. In the morning they come in my room and cuddle before we start our days. I do the best I can and try to always prioritize them. If I do that I feel good about my Mom skills:) I do remember when they were babies feeling like it was so vital that they learn every day, what to do with them etc. All babies really need is food love and a walk every day or two! All the other stuff works itself out

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Always

Every mom seems better than me

I just say at the end of the day of we all survived then we did ok lol

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Yes, since the day my daughter was born; and the 2nd one too. I always feel like I could do better. One of my daughters is autustic and I never feel like I'm doing enough for her. I know that I am, but my head always thinks other moms are better, they know more, they are better than me.....not a nice feeling.

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

Re: Do you ever feel like you put too much pressure on yourself?

You are definitely not alone. I never feel like I do enough and always worry about DD meeting milestones, gaining weight, etc,.

I also worry that I'm going to spend my time being worried and miss out on her growing up.

I'm really trying to live in the now and enjoy my time with her, but it's not always easy!