"disciplining" an 18 month old?

My DS is driving me nuts. He is defiant and acting out. I don't know where this came from! What's really making me crazy is that he throws all his food or milk on the floor. It's not that he doesn't like what I'm feeding him, it's like he does it just to watch me clean up! I swear! This kid is killing me! He throws it, smiles and says "uhoh". Then he cries because he wants to eat the food he just threw on the floor! After doing it 3 times last night, I put him in his crib after scolding him (for an attempted discipline and my own sanity). I left him there crying for about 2 minutes while I cleaned up AGAIN. When he came out I showed him his plate on the floor and said we don't throw our food. We tried again. Same thing. This time I smacked his hand. He laughed at me and tried giving me a high 5! I gave up. This has been every meal for the past 3 days. Any suggestions?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

he it looking for your reaction and attention. Im sure he understands that you do not want him to throw the food. Dont give him any reaction , dont speak to him, dont change your facial expression, dont look at him, pick him up calmly etc...
The school psychologist at work just had me do this with one of my 17 month olds for hair pulling. Its working! We also have a play pen set up with nothing in it as a time out.

I would also go back to feeding him bit by bit. I have gone back to putting the food on the fork and handing it to them or feeding it to them. I can no longer leave a lot of food on their tray.
HTH
GL

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

This is my 19 month old. It drives me nuts. I do what the above poster said, but still ignoring he does it anyway. He hates being held or confined in a stroller too long too. He will start to scream. Then when he's playing nicely by himself or with his brother he's an angel. Ugh
I think he knows how to push my buttons already. My 3 yr old was nothingn like this.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

DD is 19 months and does the exact same thing. Up until now I would clean it up, tell her we don't throw food, and she'd do it again. After the third time I took the food away. Last night I decided I'm not cleaning it up anymore. Like you said, I think they want to see us clean it up. So I want to see if not cleaning changes anything.

That said, DD has a time out spot - has since 12 months. My doctor said not to put her in her crib because she'll associate that with negativity. When DD throws things on the floor, I make her clean them up. If she does it again she goes in time out for a minute and a half and then has to clean up when she comes out.

Seems to be the age though. She dumps everything.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

I agree with the other posters. Throwing food drives me nuts and I tried to get to the bottom of WHY they do it. For us its a combo of my reaction or not wanting to eat that bite. So, I taught that if you dont want to eat it, you put it in the little cup holder on the highchair tray instead of throwing it on the floor. That works most of the time. And if it is thrown on the floor we say "No" or "we do not throw food!" firmly, and will take the tray off the highchair and eat our own meals for a few minutes. We dont clean it up until after dinner is over. Usually that does the trick.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

I imagine he's strapped into his chair? Walk away and ignore him for a minute or two, then go back and tell him not to throw his food in a stern voice. I also wouldn't clean it up right away, that might give him a little thrill as well. That's a phase that every baby goes through. Don't worry.

I would save the smacks on the hand for if he goes near a light socket or something.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

DS does the same thing, he also turns his sippy cup over and shakes either water or milk out. He gets put on time out for 30 seconds on the bottom step if he does it after I've told him not to do that. Ignoring him also works too since he's looking for a reaction.

I would also suggest not using the crib as a time out location because he will then equate his crib as a negative.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

DS is almost 15 months does the same thing. it drives me insane! I sometimes can not help but laugh when he looks on the floor at all the food saying "uhoh" I really need to work on my firm face pose!

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

My DS has pretty much outgrown this already, but I used to leave it on the floor. When he was done I made him pick up every piece he threw and put it on a napkin to throw out.

When he looks like he's going to throw something I put my hand out and ask him to give it to me. Now he knows if he doesn't want something to give it to me.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

its a phase.. and unfun one.

AJ pulled this.. we just left it on the floro and that was it. She got the message clear that it was unacceptable. She'd cry she was hungy but if she threw her food she didn't eat. She was usually pretty hungry and just ate what we gave her no fussying at one point.

We reduced how much she was allowed to have in front of her to NONE and then slowly creeped back to trusting her with food again.

I considered it as a way for her to test her limits. I HATED the toss the cup thing. She wanted to hold it but I had to hold it since I KNEW she'd toss it. At one point I used those chain chew toys and had it connected to her cup so she couldn't toss it on the floor when we were out.

Discipline never worked for us. Can't put her in time out since she's eating and you can't punish her as she wasn't 'getting it'. So we just took the food away. We had our fill of screaming and crying but she learned to eat or not to eat was the deal. Wasn't easy and wasn't fast.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Definitely a reaction thing. It's so frustrating and hard NOT to react but that is the best thing to do. DD tends to throw her cup on the floor for fun during dinner and after about 2x she doesn't get it back. If she's really acting up, I put her on the floor a few feet away from me, ignore her and let her cry for a minute or two. Then when time is up I have her come to me and she immediately comes and calms down and I calmly tell her "No...you don't do that you listen to mommy."

Hopefully the throwing things phase will end soon once you let him know you won't give him extra attention for it.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

i've found a birdcage works well. find a victorian one so you can also be stylish whilst disciplining

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

you all need some dogs! Once food is on the floor in my house it's gone in a matter of seconds. They quicky learn not to throw if they ever want to eat, haha.

But to be serious- we would time out on the step at that age if ignoring the bad behavior does not work. We did time outs and teaching do nice for hitting at that age and it worked well.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Do people use time out with kids this young? I have heard that before 2 yrs old they totally dont get it.

eta: okay I am googling and they are saying you can start at 18m....DS is still only 16m and seems far from listening to "time out"

Message edited 2/12/2013 2:43:07 PM.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Message edited 2/12/2013 2:42:40 PM.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Posted by DiamondGirl

Do people use time out with kids this young? I have heard that before 2 yrs old they totally dont get it.

eta: okay I am googling and they are saying you can start at 18m....DS is still only 16m and seems far from listening to "time out"

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

My 22m old is the same except, he has a really bad temper and he does it BC he can't believe I had the NERVE to try to feed him. He then calls the dog to eat his mess. Last night he ate 1/4 of a sandwich and the dog go everything else. This morning he ate barely anything of the 3different items he requested.

Mix in the severe tantrums over God knows why, hitting me when he doesn't get his way, banging his head in the wall for sport and he has broken me!

My first DS was nothing like this!

In seriousness, we do timeouts, he cries, says he's sorry, gives me kisses, and we go on our way. This is our lives....


Sorry no real advice, but alot of sympathy

eTA I started timeouts with ds1 at 14 m and it worked great!

Message edited 2/12/2013 3:50:59 PM.

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

We did the crib too since it was the only way to safely contain DS - until one day he came strolling down the hallway after DH put him in there.

Hang in there!

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?

I had a booster seat with a strap on it that I put on the floor in the time out spot and that is where he went for time out. He couldn't move and it wasn't his crib.. It worked until he was about 2.5 years old and then he learned he could move around in it while he was sitting in it....

Re: "disciplining" an 18 month old?