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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Please don't make dumb comments. I have a valid excuse to be a ***** to you when you do. And I will.
Do not tell me how lucky I am to not get my period because your cramps are so bad, when I have spent the last 5 days freaking out over spotting, not being able to breathe or bend over because of sinus pressure and congestion, and having pretty much constant pain/pulling/cramping for the past 6 weeks. Not to mention the queasiness, full on nausea, sore boobs, etc. etc. DUMB COMMENT.
Also do NOT ask how I'm doing, and when I explain all this to you, do NOT then say "at what point should I remind you that you wanted this?" AT NO POINT, ever, should you remind me of that. Of COURSE I wanted this. I still do want this. I want a baby, and I am thrilled to be pregnant. But that does not take away from the difficulties of it. That does not automatically mean it is a walk in the park. And if you are going to ask me how I am, then shut up and tell me you're sorry to hear that when I'm honest with you about how crappy I feel.
I wanted this. I still want this. But it also sucks a lot of the time!
So, friend, SHUT UP.
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Posted 3/5/13 12:33 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
can i meet this person?
i so want to tell this person off and smack then smack them in the face for you!!!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:40 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Don't let the hormones overtake you! And try to relax - spotting is very normal, especially in the beginning. I had red spotting with clots in the beginning and am now almost 32w. I know it is scary, but it is what it is, so try to calm down.
You had to know that being pregnant was no going to be a walk in the park, especially in the first trimester. When people ask you how you feel all they want to hear is "fine" - they don't want to hear all the complaints - especially if they haven't been pregnant before and can't relate.
What is wrong with them saying you are lucky to not have your period - I totally agree! It is the second best thing about pregnancy - second to the baby that comes out in the end!
I understand how you feel - I had all that with DD1 and then some - and it sucks, but people who haven't BTDT just can't relate and you need to understand that too and complain only to the people who can sympathize!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:42 PM |
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GlowSuarez
Baby Marz is here!
Member since 12/10 1494 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
oh jeez!! this person deserves to get smack serious . Don't let those dumb comments get in the way of your pregnancy. You have a lot to think about right a this moment and those comments are not worth your time
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:43 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Oh man, I can't wait to see what rants you post when you're like 36 weeks plus!  
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:45 PM |
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RellyWife
LIF Infant
Member since 2/10 82 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by dlj97
Don't let the hormones overtake you! And try to relax - spotting is very normal, especially in the beginning. I had red spotting with clots in the beginning and am now almost 32w. I know it is scary, but it is what it is, so try to calm down.
You had to know that being pregnant was no going to be a walk in the park, especially in the first trimester. When people ask you how you feel all they want to hear is "fine" - they don't want to hear all the complaints - especially if they haven't been pregnant before and can't relate.
What is wrong with them saying you are lucky to not have your period - I totally agree! It is the second best thing about pregnancy - second to the baby that comes out in the end!
I understand how you feel - I had all that with DD1 and then some - and it sucks, but people who haven't BTDT just can't relate and you need to understand that too and complain only to the people who can sympathize!
Well said! Just ignore them and relax!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:46 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by dlj97
Don't let the hormones overtake you! And try to relax - spotting is very normal, especially in the beginning. I had red spotting with clots in the beginning and am now almost 32w. I know it is scary, but it is what it is, so try to calm down.
You had to know that being pregnant was no going to be a walk in the park, especially in the first trimester. When people ask you how you feel all they want to hear is "fine" - they don't want to hear all the complaints - especially if they haven't been pregnant before and can't relate.
What is wrong with them saying you are lucky to not have your period - I totally agree! It is the second best thing about pregnancy - second to the baby that comes out in the end!
I understand how you feel - I had all that with DD1 and then some - and it sucks, but people who haven't BTDT just can't relate and you need to understand that too and complain only to the people who can sympathize!
Basically the reason I'm venting here and not to her 
Of course I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but this person (who is my best friend, so when she asks how I'm feeling and what is happening I'm not going to just say I'm fine) is the one who seems to think it should be easy and I shouldn't be complaining since I wanted this.
And the reason I found her comments about periods insensitive is because she DOES know that I'm having a tough time, so for her to say I'm lucky right after hearing about how ****** I'm feeling didn't strike me as particularly chummy.
I totally get your reply, and I know it's hormones, which is why I'm venting here instead of ripping her a new one.
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:48 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Oh man, I can't wait to see what rants you post when you're like 36 weeks plus!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:51 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Oh man, I can't wait to see what rants you post when you're like 36 weeks plus!
Haha maybe by then I'll have reigned it in a bit!
I'm just especially on edge these past few days I guess, so I have no tolerance at the moment for much!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:51 PM |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
ugh sorry your friend doesn't understand, it definitely makes it much worse when it's someone close to you, harder to just "grin & bear it" through annoying comments. I just came out at work yesterday, one of the guys (of course!!! lol) said to me "oh that's cool you get to have a few months off from work" a) this guy started here after my 22 week loss last year so he has no idea how seriously I take being pregnant and b) a few months "off"???? really, as if I'm hiring a nanny and a maid and I can sit home with my feet up eating bon bons while someone else takes care of my newborn!!!!  I've been keeping my peace when people say stupid things, you have to just laugh, most people have NO CLUE!
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:57 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
I hear ya sister! You've been so stressed out these past few days and dumb comments from friends don't help. Just wait...the comments get even dumber.
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:59 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
awww i'm sorry  i just don't understand why people can't be positive, understanding, and supportive - whether they have been pregnant before or not - this is my first child but i have always tried to be sympathetic, understanding, and sensitive towards others. why would anyone do something like that?
i have to say, mostly, people have been pretty good so far. i did have one person say something that hurt my feelings - when this person was pregnant, as i do with everyone (friends and family) who is pregnant, i got them a little congrats gift - i mean, anything from a pregnancy book, to a cute onesie, etc. with a congrats card. when i got pregnant, i didn't get anything from said person and i have seen them almost six or so times since we announced we were expecting. but to me, it's not about the reciprocation so i just let it go. i think someone close to us in our circle noticed and must have said to this person, hey are you going to get danielle a little something b/c she got you something right away when you first announced? at some point after that, this person decided to come up to me and excuse why they didn't give me anything by saying: honestly, i'm superstitious and i want to wait until a certain amount of time has passed before i give you anything -- JUST IN CASE. 
Umm, was the necessary? I didn't ASK you where this gift was, I had nothing to do with it, and whether you felt guilty on your own or someone said something - why do that? Just say nothing or eventually get a gift or don't get anything - whatever!
But, basically, you are stating to me that you don't want to give me a freaking bib and a congrats card because you think i might miscarry?! That's lovely. Umm do you want to just keep the receipt and if God forbid something happens I promise I'll give you the "What to expect when you're expecting" book back to you?  It hurt my feelings.
Then came the questions of "and exactly how far along are you?" But, by all means, make sure you wait until YOU with all of YOUR medical experience KNOWS that I'm "SAFE" 
Message edited 3/5/2013 1:11:47 PM.
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:09 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
All I can say is you have to ignore stupid comments. Cause if you let them bother you this early you will be insane by the end. And the stupid comments get worse as time goes by.
I have to say I tried to keep the complaining down to a min when I was PG...I knew no one wanted to hear me complain. I didn't want to hear woman complain before I got PG.....Its just the normal cycle of life!
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:13 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
but you're pregnant, you are supposed to be all shiny skin and happy sunshiney moods
I'm over people... the next non-pregnant person that even looks at me the wrong way- much less makes a comment- is getting punched.
 I'm sure I'll be on the news by the end of this week
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:14 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by DaniRella
awww i'm sorry i just don't understand why people can't be positive, understanding, and supportive - whether they have been pregnant before or not - this is my first child but i have always tried to be sympathetic, understanding, and sensitive towards others. why would anyone do something like that?
i have to say, mostly, people have been pretty good so far. i did have one person say something that hurt my feelings - when this person was pregnant, as i do with everyone (friends and family) who is pregnant, i got them a little congrats gift - i mean, anything from a pregnancy book, to a cute onesie, etc. with a congrats card. when i got pregnant, i didn't get anything from said person and i have seen them almost six or so times since we announced we were expecting. but to me, it's not about the reciprocation so i just let it go. i think someone close to us in our circle noticed and must have said to this person, hey are you going to get danielle a little something b/c she got you something right away when you first announced? at some point after that, this person decided to come up to me and excuse why they didn't give me anything by saying: honestly, i'm superstitious and i want to wait until a certain amount of time has passed before i give you anything -- JUST IN CASE.
Umm, was the necessary? I didn't ASK you where this gift was, I had nothing to do with it, and whether you felt guilty on your own or someone said something - why do that? Just say nothing or eventually get a gift or don't get anything - whatever!
But, basically, you are stating to me that you don't want to give me a freaking bib and a congrats card because you think i might miscarry?! That's lovely. Umm do you want to just keep the receipt and if God forbid something happens I promise I'll give you the "What to expect when you're expecting" book back to you? It hurt my feelings.
Then came the questions of "and exactly how far along are you?" But, by all means, make sure you wait until YOU with all of YOUR medical experience KNOWS that I'm "SAFE"
I totally know that some people just don't think and my pregnancy isn't about others and all that. I do know that! But some things are just too much. Like your story! And for me, my mother, the same weekend she found out I was pregnant, told me about someone she knew who just found out their pregnancy was ectopic. Of course I feel terribly for that person but it's not someone I knew well and couldn't that type of information have waited for a different time?
Like I said, I know I'm being on edge and a bit of a *****, which is why I vented here instead of taking it out on her! And I'm sure at 36 w I'll have plenty more to rant about
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:15 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Aww are you getting preggo rage? (ducks and hides) 
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:16 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by alli3131
I have to say I tried to keep the complaining down to a min when I was PG...I knew no one wanted to hear me complain. I didn't want to hear woman complain before I got PG.....Its just the normal cycle of life!
Same here, it's not worth it. I complain to DH, that is all and even then I keep it to a minimum.
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:23 PM |
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mnm918
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1209 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
I feel like I have tried to keep the complaining down to a minimum until now!!! lol.. I am complaining all the time and prob because I am starting to really feel uncomfortable and have excrutiating pain everytime I get up from sitting.. Im also really tired and its prob because I know the end is near! I would love to say it get's easier but it only get's worse as you get bigger and time goes on.. I was fortunate enough to have an easy 1st trimester so I knew I would pay for it now, lol.. People are going to say what they want and they dont even think about it at times they just are gonna annoy you! I am a raging Biotch at work cause everything and everyone annoys me! lol. I just blame it on the hormones most of the time and they try and understand.. they also know not to say something stuid so I go off on them
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:25 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
People are dumb. Two people said the could tell I was pregnant just bc of how fat my face got. Ummm weird thing is that it didn't- my face looks basically the same. I also had a friend ask if I'm sure I don't have two in there (and she knows we lost a twin early on). Be prepared to roll your eyes from now till October.... and again when the baby is here and you dress it in very gender specific colors and people guess you have the opposite gender. It will happen
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:32 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Love it!! They have no clue!
Like when BIL told me Im not having that bad of a pregnancy because I'm still pregnant. No, just on bed rest for 10 weeks and had to cancel my shower, can't walk without pain and live in fear that babies are ok with every cramp, contraction. Oh and those 2 trips L&D to stop the contractions. And lets not forget the weekly and sometimes bi-weekly Dr apts.
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| Posted 3/5/13 1:35 PM |
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
I hear you loud and clear!!!! I was SO sick from 5.5 weeks to 16 weeks that people always asked me how I was feeling but I HATED "I told you pregnancy sucks". I finally learned these two replies:
Them: How are you feeling?
Me: Do you want the real answer or do you want the fake answer so we can both pretend you care and aren't going to make rude comments to a very hormonal woman?
Them: I told you pregnancy sucks!!!
Me: When you throw up 10 times a day you can tell me what I'm feeling. Plus, while I still feel crappy I wouldn't change it for anything in the world!
Being snotty really started to shut people up!
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| Posted 3/5/13 2:06 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by Strawberry2468
Love it!! They have no clue!
Like when BIL told me Im not having that bad of a pregnancy because I'm still pregnant. No, just on bed rest for 10 weeks and had to cancel my shower, can't walk without pain and live in fear that babies are ok with every cramp, contraction. Oh and those 2 trips L&D to stop the contractions. And lets not forget the weekly and sometimes bi-weekly Dr apts.
When I told someone last week that I was on bed rest they said it must be nice I get to sleep. Yeah. That's about all I could do without complaining
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| Posted 3/5/13 2:06 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
People are aholes.
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| Posted 3/5/13 5:28 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by Strawberry2468
Love it!! They have no clue!
Like when BIL told me Im not having that bad of a pregnancy because I'm still pregnant. No, just on bed rest for 10 weeks and had to cancel my shower, can't walk without pain and live in fear that babies are ok with every cramp, contraction. Oh and those 2 trips L&D to stop the contractions. And lets not forget the weekly and sometimes bi-weekly Dr apts.
When I told someone last week that I was on bed rest they said it must be nice I get to sleep. Yeah. That's about all I could do without complaining
You are so lucky and your life is so divine
People. Suck.
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| Posted 3/5/13 6:19 PM |
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yankeebaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/12 850 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear friends who are not and have not ever been pregnant....
You go girl!!!
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| Posted 3/5/13 6:23 PM |
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