Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

I don't go to church, but I can imagine many of you that do have issues with the kiddies acting up. Someone mentioned older people giving looks, and it reminded me of how I feel often in the supermarket or somewhere.

I tend to get looks from older ladies that *seem* to say "My goodness, kids these days run amok..parents have no control anymore! Kids in my day never acted in such a way!"

Sometimes an old lady will say something to my LO, such as he better behave (and say it in a very "tsk, tsk" voice)

My question: Did kids not have temper tantrums way back when? Whenever I see photos from my grandma's time, the kids always look very sullen in the pictures, which is probably not an accurate indicator of behavior, but more of a comment on kids back then.

What do you think?

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

Well on the photo thing I do know that taking a professional photo back then was a BIG deal. MAJOR. HUGE. So you wanted your family to be serious and dignified. That's a small part of it; the other is that photographic techniques being what they were, if people were laughing and joking and whooping it up, they'd come out totally blurry - a chance no one would be willing to take considering the investment and the aforemetioned dignity of the occasion.

Uppity people like that (young or old) bother me tremendously. He's a baby/toddler. Deal. If you don't have kids or don't like kids fine, IGNORE US. Thanks.

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

While I do agree that "Kids these days....run amok..." to some extent, I think older people gloss over the good ole days a lot more.

For the most part, it's easy to forget how difficult it was to deal with the 2-3-4 year old after your 2-3-4 year old is a 40 year old functioning adult.

There was definiitely a different parenting style back then which is considered pretty unacceptable now. I don't know anyone that tells their kid to go pick out a switch(would they even know what that is?) in their backyard or to go get the belt.

Even people that swear they are going to raise their kid like their parents & their kid is going to behave, find it hard to handle that toddler-pre-schooler in church. Most logically ways of dealing with them don't work. Mainly because they're not logical people - they are toddlers. Some kids count time outs as attention. Some kids will sit in their room with no toys & it won't bother them. By the time, you figure out what they do care about, they're a little older & that simple threat of "We're coming back for the 11:00 mass because you didn't behave at the 9:30" will work. So you can chalk up how your intolerance for that behavior was the reason it corrected itself. What I really believe causes it, is your kids got a little older.

Pit any 60-70-80 year old person against a toddler and they'll lose.

That being said, I think some of the parents do handle things differently than I would - and that does cause tantrums more. I was at a birthday party where an older girl screamed that she wanted a toy they had at the birthday party place - an $80 puppet. The birthday mom had already handed out the favors (little puppets) for everyone. To stop the girl from throwing a tantrum & to get her off the floor (yes an older kid on the floor), the mom bought it for her.

Last week, I was in Target. A kid my son's age was yelling at his mom about how he wanted to buy two games for himself - even though she had already said one. He was arguing with her that the game he picked out wasn't a game because it had cards & there was no board. The way he spoke to his mom...well my kid would have been walking out of Target empty-handed. I wanted to go up to her & say "Tell him he gets nothing." She bought both for him. Both of my kids know that a public scene will get them the complete opposite of what they want.

We all pick our battles. We all have different ones to pick. If the kid was running through a parking lot, I'm sure the mom would have chosen that battle. That doesn't mean she's not going to have an adult son who is a master in business because he learned early he can succeed at manipulation. I'm not sure when we all get graded on our parenting. Is is when our kids listen as a 7 year old? Is it when they are a valedictorian in high school? Is it when that valedictorian is overcompensating and becomes the party kid with a DWI? Is it when they're adults who cut off their parents? Is it when they pick a spouse similar to you & then try to work on their childhood issues be repeating the same pattern?There is no formula for success. If we knew what led our kids to become successful, amazing, well-adjusted adults, we would all be them ourselves.

Message edited 10/8/2010 6:35:48 AM.

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

I have actually found it to be different. Any older people I seem to run into seem to look and say "I remember those days" -- or something along those lines.

My grandmother was one who said our family was always perfect. In her words "My kids never had a fight" but then we hear stories of my dad and uncle getting into brawls. It was selective memory with her.

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

Old people should NOT be talking about how terrible it is to be around kids whether in church, etc because they aren't always great to be around either like when you are Stop and Shop and they are trying to use the self checkout and take FOREVER that it's painful sitting there and waiting, you just want to scream and grab the items and scan them for them or when you are driving on Merrick Rd and in the left lane going 10mph because there is a Grand Marquis in front of you and you can't go around them because guess who is in the right lane... another old person going just as slow.... arggg

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.

I have to say for us it has been the opposite. We go to the family service when we do go. If they girls get fussy (I do bring books and quiet things for them so they can sit quietly and keep occupied) but if they get restless I walk them or take them out. Usually the older people around us are constantly saying "Don't worry about it they are so cute and are not bothering us at all."

Re: Cranky kids in church spinoff..Old People and young kids these days.