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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by BargainMama
WOW, I guess I'm the oddball, but if my child ended up with bruises that look like adult size fingers, I would be pulling him out of there ASAP! You would have to grab a child pretty damn hard to bruise them!
Do they have cameras in the classrooms?
I agree. I know kids bruise easy falling into stuff etc. but I can think of a few times where I really roughly snagged ds by the arm to stop him from falling into something else and I've never caused fingerprint bruises.
I also find it suspicious how the teacher tried to turn it around on YOU. I mean, if you were abusing your kid it would be pretty dumb to show up at daycare demanding where the bruised came from. Call me suspicious but her response sounds so guilty to me.
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Posted 6/24/11 7:02 PM  |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
In the mornings on the way into daycare he always says "No Miss Xxxx" (the one co-teacher that is with him in the afternoon). .
That would be enough for me. I mean, paired w/ the bruising incident
Not to compare your child with my dog but we used to send her to a doggy daycare when I was working crazy hours (before we had ds). One day she stopped wanting to go there- she would pull the other way. Sure enough a few days later I showed up early and she was IN A CAGE! Mystery solved.
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| Posted 6/24/11 7:08 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
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browneyes
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I do agree though...I know a lot of the other moms on here have been saying that their kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but if a kid gets bruises like these he would have cried - I mean, they're BAD. Yet these teachers are telling me they "have no idea how he got them" How could you not know? It just seems fishy to me...
my DD is covered in bruises--doesn't cry AT ALL when she falls or gets hurt. i'm constantly trying to figure out where she got them from--and i'm the one with her so i know no one "did it" to her. right now she has a massive black and blue raised bump on her forehead--no idea how she got it. my mom was with her and she never cried. and she's only 19 months old.
it's very easy not to know. kids are tough.
i really think the police route was extreme. this can turn into something bigger than your ex imagined.
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| Posted 6/24/11 7:37 PM |
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MrsKR88
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 979 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
does the daycare do incident reports and wellness checks? Most daycares are supposed to document any type of accidents as well as do a wellness check if they notice any marks or cuts when they are dropped off in the morning.
IMO, something just doesn't seem right and I would definitely go to the director!
Message edited 6/24/2011 7:49:28 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/11 7:47 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by MrsKR88
does the daycare do incident reports and wellness checks? Most daycares are supposed to document any type of accidents as well as do a wellness check if they notice any marks or cuts when they are dropped off in the morning.
IMO, something just doesn't seem right and I would definitely go to the director!
She did say there was an incident report in the original post. It didn't include the bruising. Although brusing takes a bit to show up.
I'm pretty surprised at how many people would brush off bruising that matches up to an adult hand on their child after being left in the care of someone else. If it was just a regular bruise...yeah probably no biggie, could have fallen down, etc. But a hand print? Obviously the child was grabbed with force. 
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| Posted 6/24/11 7:55 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
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D
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by Fallbaby09
Bruises from falling or banging it to something are completely different from bruises cause by a forceful hand. IMO, you did the right thing and are not ignoring what your gut is telling you. I hope you can resolve this 
I have to agree with you here! I'm surprised how many people would brush off an actual hand print on their child. You have to grab a 22 month old pretty hard to leave a bruise like the one described. I wouldn't have run to the police and from what I'm reading you wouldn't have either but ExH jumped the gun.
I hope this gets resolved and I'd maybe look into other daycares.
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| Posted 6/24/11 8:15 PM |
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browneyes
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Member since 8/08 4311 total posts
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Super Mom
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by Fallbaby09
Bruises from falling or banging it to something are completely different from bruises cause by a forceful hand. IMO, you did the right thing and are not ignoring what your gut is telling you. I hope you can resolve this
I have to agree with you here! I'm surprised how many people would brush off an actual hand print on their child. You have to grab a 22 month old pretty hard to leave a bruise like the one described. I wouldn't have run to the police and from what I'm reading you wouldn't have either but ExH jumped the gun.
I hope this gets resolved and I'd maybe look into other daycares.
i dont think anyone is realy brushing it off like its no biggie but i think getting the police involved before even talking to the teacher n director is a bit extreme. I would have talken to everyone that has any contact with my child plus the school director and if i still fealt uneasy with all those answers then i would go the next step but i dont think i would go right to the cops..... But thats just me.
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| Posted 6/24/11 8:27 PM |
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lvdolphins
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
I would have went to the director first, not sure I would've brought the police in.
When I worked in daycare, we had to look over each child and if we noticed anything at drop off, it was documented!
This protected US the teachers, from parents turning it around and putting blame on us.
In this situation, you know you didn't do it.
Bruises of a handprint is not a "fall and bump bruise".
Definitley demand the video footage and a meeting with the director!
To work in daycare all staff MUST be fingerprinted, so, the co-teachers prints should be on file!
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope you get answers real soon!
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| Posted 6/24/11 9:35 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9922 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
I am going to share my story and you can take it for what its worth....
Over the past few months I had been noticing that there were finger print like bruises on DS' legs. I mentioned to DH that I think we need to be more careful when changing DS since a lot of times he squirms on the changing table and we may be applying too much grip to hold him still especially when he has a dirty diaper  . So, me and DH were very careful.
Lately, I realized that it has been happening from when I put him in the carseat and position his leg to meneuver the straps to lock in properly. I specifically noticed it this morning and that the bruises corresponded to my fingers.
Now before you call CPS on me I am not really applying much pressure. Certainly not in a rough manner and certainly nothing that is causing him pain or discomfort. However, there are ugly looking bruises there.
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| Posted 6/24/11 9:45 PM |
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OrganicMama
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Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by Domino
I am going to share my story and you can take it for what its worth....
Over the past few months I had been noticing that there were finger print like bruises on DS' legs. I mentioned to DH that I think we need to be more careful when changing DS since a lot of times he squirms on the changing table and we may be applying too much grip to hold him still especially when he has a dirty diaper . So, me and DH were very careful.
Lately, I realized that it has been happening from when I put him in the carseat and position his leg to meneuver the straps to lock in properly. I specifically noticed it this morning and that the bruises corresponded to my fingers.
Now before you call CPS on me I am not really applying much pressure. Certainly not in a rough manner and certainly nothing that is causing him pain or discomfort. However, there are ugly looking bruises there.
I think if your DS is bruising that easily then his iron levels might be on the low side (i bruise like that too because of my iron). It sounds like the OP's DS doesn't bruise like that though, otherwise she would probably notice a lot more bruising from everyday interactions/bumps/etc. My DS only gets bruising from bad falls and sometimes on his shin from his crab crawl, so if I were in this situation I would be EXTREMELY concerned. Moreso with his reaction to the teacher and with her turning it around on the parents. That seems like a guilty reaction IMO. What I would be concerned with the police being called is CPS may now get involved, especially if the teacher tried turning it around on the parents.
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| Posted 6/24/11 10:12 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9922 total posts
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by OrganicMama
I think if your DS is bruising that easily then his iron levels might be on the low side (i bruise like that too because of my iron).
ty...I am going to bring this up next month at ped appt.
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| Posted 6/24/11 11:10 PM |
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MrsRivera
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Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
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Beth
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by investigating this. I too am a little surprised at how many people would just brush this off as "kids being kids". It's obvious that an adult did this, and it wasn't you.
I know you love that daycare, but I think I would pull him out--I would fear retaliation
But I think you're going with your gut, and that's always the right thing to do. The few times I've ignored my gut feeling, I've been wrong--and I regretted it. I think the fact that your DS names a specific teacher (rather than being aversive to the daycare itself) is EXTREMELY suspicious...
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| Posted 6/24/11 11:44 PM |
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peabody
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by MrsRivera
I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by investigating this. I too am a little surprised at how many people would just brush this off as "kids being kids". It's obvious that an adult did this, and it wasn't you.
I know you love that daycare, but I think I would pull him out--I would fear retaliation
But I think you're going with your gut, and that's always the right thing to do. The few times I've ignored my gut feeling, I've been wrong--and I regretted it. I think the fact that your DS names a specific teacher (rather than being aversive to the daycare itself) is EXTREMELY suspicious...
I agree, go with your gut and pull him out.
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| Posted 6/25/11 1:24 AM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
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Kelly
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
I do think talking to the police is extreme. But, while my DD's legs bruise pretty easily from bumping into things, I have grabbed her arms pretty hard when she's been about to fall, or her legs inadvertently while changing her diaper or something and she has never bruised or seemed bothered. Not saying I purposely grab my DD hard, but sometimes I've loosened my grip thinking "oops that grasp is probably too hard." But she has never come close to a bruise from that. So my point is, for a finger mark bruise on an arm, it would probably need to be a pretty hard grab...thus, THAT would concern me.
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| Posted 6/25/11 11:27 AM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Listen to your gut.
DS is covered head to toe with bruises and scratches, but if he were ever in anyone's care besides mine and came back to me with anything at all suspicious -
it would be child abuse in my eyes - and nothing is out of proportion IMO. I would not hesitate to follow through with calling the police. If your out of line to do so, they will tell you.
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| Posted 6/25/11 12:00 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
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Jenn
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
I was away all weekend and just got around to reading all these repsonses this morning. Thanks for everyone's input!
DS definately does not bruise easily. He's a handful, like most 22 month olds, and there have been multiple occassions where he's run for the stairs or something and I've had to grab his arm to stop him and I've accidentally grabbed a little harder than I thought and he's never bruised. So, my concern was that someone would have had to grab him VERY hard to bruise like this. I mean he was purple and brown over his entire forearm. It started out looking like 3 finger marks but after 2 days the 3 marks connected and his whole arm was bruised
I dont believe this happened from another child or from falling - the doctor looked at him and confirmed that it looked like adult finger marks. However, I do believe that it *could* have been an accident, which is why I didint want to pull the police into it just yet. Without talking to the director and looking at the video, its hard to speculate what happened and I wouldnt want someone to lose their jobs over something that was unintentional
ExH has DS this week, so I dont go to daycare, but I'm planning to drop by and talk to the director and the teachers on my own time. First of all, I want to clear the air so they know that I was not comfortable with the police investigation to begin with and that I am NOT by any means accussing anyone of hurting my son. I dont know HOW it happened.
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| Posted 6/27/11 10:02 AM |
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CrankyPants
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Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: CJ came home from daycare with huge bruises on his arm - WWYD?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I wouldn't have called the police over bruises but I don't like the daycare's response.
I would have gone for the director.
I agree
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| Posted 6/27/11 11:12 AM |
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