Church sermon vent** update at bottom

So I finally got Dh to start going to church with me. We thought it would be good for us - going what we are going through. Yesterday we went as usual. The priest could have given a very nice homily about his mother on Mother's Day. Did he? NNNNOOOO. He chose to lecture (yell) how "real" mothers are the only ones the conceive naturally. If you get pregnant out of wedlock you are not a mother. If you conceive via IVF or other medical intervention you are not a mother. I don't know what else he said because I just lost it. DH and I walked out. I do understand the Church's position but I don't think that was necessary. DH is now writing a letter to the pastor about this.
Sorry about the long vent but it is still upsetting me.
Thanks for listening

Message edited 5/12/2009 6:23:52 PM.

Re: Church sermon vent

im really sorry u had to hear that. Im catholic myself and there are many things i do not agree on. There are priests out there who do not have that old way of thinking - unfortunatly the one from yesterday wasnt one of them.

God has a plan for all of us... Has nothing to do with medical interventions or concieving naturally. Keep ur head up high. Im glad ur dh is writing a letter to the pastor.

Re: Church sermon vent

How horrible for both of you!!! I'm sorry you had to hear that. Good for DH for writing a letter. I hope he gets a response.

A good friend of ours is a priest and officiated our wedding 6 years ago. DH was talking with him about our IF journey and he just wished us luck, said he'd pray for us and is willing to listen if we needed to talk.

Re: Church sermon vent

That is unbelievable. I am so sorry you had to deal with that!

Re: Church sermon vent

I am so sorry you had to deal with that. While I do understand the church's "official" teaching (doesn't mean I agree with it)- to say you an only be a mother through his narrow definition is not only ridiculous- but flies in the face of the compassion and understand that Jesus taught.

and I had to add: he's a hypocrite- because Catholics always fight for the life of the unborn child- so if a woman were to get pregnant out of wedlock, the church would tell her to have the child- and be a mother to that child and support that child's life... so I certainly would write a letter to the pastor and point out his hypocritical views..

I also wonder what he thinks of those that aren't "birth" mothers but have adopted or foster children... are they not mothers?

he sounds like a real moron.

Message edited 5/11/2009 7:41:00 PM.

Re: Church sermon vent

Thats why I worship at an Episcopal church now.. What a turn off.. I do not think Jesus would teach a serman like that.... do you??

Re: Church sermon vent

I hope I am not intruding, but I read this post and it made me fuming mad! I am a devout Catholic, and am so sorry you had to go through this. Fortunately, I have not encountered any sort of sermon like this, but please don't let this turn you off to Church, remember this is one PERSON, not all people of faith.

I would like to rip this guy a new one!

Re: Church sermon vent

What is ironic is on the Church bulliten they have a pregnancy distress hotline and post abortion counseling phone number.

I just think that this priest is very old school. We have been to his masses in the past ans I remember not liking him.

Thanks for you support

Re: Church sermon vent

That really makes me

I am sorry you had to go through that BS !!!!

Re: Church sermon vent

I am so sorry that you and your DH had to listen to this in a place that was supposed to be your place of solace and peace.

I too am Catholic and have discussed our infertility issues with one of the priests at my parish. While what we are doing is not really within the strict guidelines, all he told me was that God loves me, my husband and any child, conceived however we could have one and would be welcomed at church.

God loves you and your DH. He knows very well what you are doing is from a place of love, and that's all that matters.

Re: Church sermon vent

First I am so sorry you had to listen to that BS on what I am sure was a difficult day.
Second, God made the doctors too, the ones that created and use ART, so how bad can they be?
Third, hope that jack azz priest realizes how insensitive and thoughtless he was to not only us using ART but adoptive mothers as well.

Hope today was better for you and DH and that his letter gets some sort of reply.


Shawnna

Re: Church sermon vent

You should call the parish and tell the pastor that you went to the Church since you are going thru a difficult time and that the message you got there was that you were NOT welcome. It is awful.
I am so sorry.
I have a bio-daughter and an adopted son. I did NOT conceive my son but you know what I AM HIS MOTHER. A women is a mother when she loves and cares for a child. Not because she did or did not use drugs to help get pregnant, or for any other reason. It is about love and support and care- not about anything else. Find a new church that can help you, not hurt you. I am sorry.

(I am Catholic but everyday I seriously am reconsidering religion)

Re: Church sermon vent

i'm so sorry you had to deal with that...don't let one person's ignorance make you feel bad!

Re: Church sermon vent

what?? u think the catholic church is going to ask how i conceived when i go baptize my kid..of course not b/c all they'll want is my $$.

i swear..this is one of the many reasons I stopped going to church. UN-REAL.

the old priest at my church when he was going senile used to ramble on and on about abortion in his homilies..which had nothing to do with whatever gospel that was read.

Im sorry you suffered through that.

Re: Church sermon vent

Re: Church sermon vent

I'm so sorry you had to listen to that BS!!! This makes me mad!
Wow!
This is not how all Catholic churches feel or conduct themselves.
This guy sounds like a nut.
Maybe you can try another church? I hope this doesn't discourage you from attending mass. I have a great church and sometimes hear "just what I needed to hear" to get me through my week. Try a new church!

Re: Church sermon vent

I have to agree with Karen...I think you need to find another Church.
I have found the Church to be a grounding and strengthening aspect of our journey. Even now, while on bedrest, our Church has been wonderful. They know we got PG both times through IVF and I am on bedrest and yet I have a Eucharistic Minister who comes to our house weekly and we have talked about my IF....
Most priests in this day and age are understanding of the struggle to have children.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this and think it's great that your DH wrote a letter.

Re: Church sermon vent

Posted by Gertyrae

I have to agree with Karen...I think you need to find another Church.
I have found the Church to be a grounding and strengthening aspect of our journey. Even now, while on bedrest, our Church has been wonderful. They know we got PG both times through IVF and I am on bedrest and yet I have a Eucharistic Minister who comes to our house weekly and we have talked about my IF....
Most priests in this day and age are understanding of the struggle to have children.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this and think it's great that your DH wrote a letter.

Re: Church sermon vent

Wow I would be livid. Sorry you had to hear that

I would also try to find another church. Your church and faith is a big part of your IF struggle (at least it was for me) and I believe you need to find a parish and priest that will help you through.

Re: Church sermon vent

How ignorant can you be? He is out of line to be preaching that line of BS.

It doesn't matter if you conceive naturally, through medical intervention or become a mother by adoption or otherwise.

A mother is a mother is a mother is a mother.

He needs to stop giving sermons.

Re: Church sermon vent

Thank you for all of your replies and support. I did call the recotry today to get the name of the priest. The woman in the office looked to see who it was and asked if I was calling to complain about the homily. I said yes. She explained that he was a visiting priest that says mass maybe twice a month and is from the "old school". She said, he is old and is set in his ways. He really does not know how to communicate with people. He also gives the same homily every year. The have to make sure thay don't schedule him for the 10am family mass because he does not deal well with all of the kids. I understood. She suggested that I still write the letter to the pastor and call on Saturdays to make sure I don't get the same priest.
We are going to keep going to that church because we actually do like the other priests.

Re: Church sermon vent** update at bottom

omg im so sorry you had to sit through this!!!

Re: Church sermon vent** update at bottom

ugh ugh ugh ugh

I am so mad about this.

This is EXACTLY why I have such doubts with baptizing DD Catholic.

Re: Church sermon vent** update at bottom

Re: Church sermon vent** update at bottom

Posted by inbliss

Thank you for all of your replies and support. I did call the recotry today to get the name of the priest. The woman in the office looked to see who it was and asked if I was calling to complain about the homily. I said yes. She explained that he was a visiting priest that says mass maybe twice a month and is from the "old school". She said, he is old and is set in his ways. He really does not know how to communicate with people. He also gives the same homily every year. The have to make sure thay don't schedule him for the 10am family mass because he does not deal well with all of the kids. I understood. She suggested that I still write the letter to the pastor and call on Saturdays to make sure I don't get the same priest.
We are going to keep going to that church because we actually do like the other priests.