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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I really think some of you are out of control. Honestly, thinking of calling cps on random people not knowing them from a freaking hole in the wall. I think we all are way to high on our "Im a great parent" soapboxes. Seriously do any of you just not have a crappy day every once in a while? I think I read posts on here daily where I  And think really? Whether it be, what do I do for a temp, what do I do if he sneezes to much, or who do I call for a hangnail. I think everyone thinks they are the perfect parent and cant see that sometimes you arent. Gasp.
I think there needs to a bit LESS judging and a bit more minding their business. Its really out of control.
**just MY opinion of course
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Posted 8/5/11 4:10 PM  |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
imo its impossible to call yourself a good parent if you're smacking your kid in the face and making them bleed. NO parent should touch their child like that.
we were obviously all raised differently and have different views. you can think someones a good parent by beating their child and i can think that's horrible and trashy. my parents never laid one finger on me growing up and i would NEVER hit my son.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:13 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
well don't you know, this board is full of saints who make no mistakes, who never loose their cool, who are perfect parents day in and day out...
I'm not supporting abuse by no means and 100% DO NOT AGREE WITH HITTING but that Dunkin Donut post made me loose my cool!!! CPS is for children in danger, not kids that got yelled out by there parents on a store line.....come on now!!
Message edited 8/5/2011 4:17:45 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:14 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I totally see what you're saying but...
This should be interesting..
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:15 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I agree with you. I think many people don't discipline their children enough (not necessarily a physical sense of discipline) and when they see a parent disciplining (or reprimanding) differently, they right away think it's awful and cruel. I am all for protecting children but come on...children had much more respect back in the
day when there wasn't all this pressure to be perfect on a parent who never talked nasty, never raised a finger or never raised their voice.
I see too many situations where it "appears" the children rule the roost and that is only a disservice to them IMO. Teaches them to be spoiled brats who can't handle the word NO. I am not saying children should tolerate abuse but I don't think abuse is as broad as some people make it out to be.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:16 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I didn't read the thread that you're talking about but posters these days seem to be out of control with seeing only a snippet of someone's life and judging their every move.
We all have bad days. We all have dealt with toddler tantrums. A trip with my boys to Target is enough to send me to the loony bin when Jack is on the floor screaming in the toy aisle. Drives me beserk. I could only imagine what people think/say about me while dealing with it.
Do I like it when I hear a parent yelling at a child? No. And I know I hate the way I sound when I'm yelling - but sometimes the situation calls for it. I do not want to raise a spoiled brat - and sometimes they act that way so I need to try to nip it in the bud.
It's so easy to sit back and look at the parent as a bad parent. Everyone wants to be looked upon as the greatest mom/dad out there.
Message edited 8/5/2011 4:19:58 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:18 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Xelindrya
I totally see what you're saying but...
This should be interesting..
But of course, a)its friday b) anything thst goes against the grain is sure to ruffle feathers.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:19 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Goobster, I totally understand.
In fact, numerous times I see kids that NEED more discipline...and the parents are smiling away as their kid is being a big BRAT!! I don't know.....ironic right....
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:19 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Yep ita with you! Some of these people act like they have never yelled at their kid or said something nasty to them at a bad moment
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:20 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by IansMommy23
imo its impossible to call yourself a good parent if you're smacking your kid in the face and making them bleed. NO parent should touch their child like that.
we were obviously all raised differently and have different views. you can think someones a good parent by beating their child and i can think that's horrible and trashy. my parents never laid one finger on me growing up and i would NEVER hit my son.
But that's YOU. For ex, my DH wasn't ever hit. I was. My grandparents WERE beat by their parents. My parents were not beat but occasionaly got reprimanded physically.
As I stated in the other post, my mom smacked me in the face when I was about 8. Knocked out an already loose dangly tooth...I bled. My mom is not perfect but she was FAR from abusive, or worthy of a call from CPS. I laugh with my mom about how she "knocked out my tooth". I only recently told her that all these years while she felt bad, it was already loose and dangling. LOL But you see, I wasn't abused and NEVER thought I was abused. Still don't think I was, just b/c I was occasionally hit or such.
Just b/c you never hit or got hit as a child, doesn't mean that a parent who does that on the rare occasion that they lose control, is a BAD or abusive parent. Honestly, at least I had respect for my elders when I was growing up, which is far from the case these days it seems.
Message edited 8/5/2011 4:22:20 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:21 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I agree that calling CPS is taking it too far in cases like this, and yes, we ALL have bad days when it comes to being a parent. No parent is perfect.
But I have to say that the post earlier about the mother who smacked her child I do not think that the poster over-reacted. She witnessed a mother smack her child so hard in the face that he bled from the mouth. She didn't call CPS and she didnt intervene. She simply mouthed the word "@sshole" as she drove past the mother. If that's all the OP did she should be awarded for restraining herself. She witnessed child abuse and I dont think she, or anyone else who witnessed an incident like that and reacted similarly could be categorized as being on their "high horse".
I believe in most cases we should mind our own business when it comes to parenting, but not always. I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent. I have my good days and my bad days. I have my days where I have the patience of a saint and others where DS pushes my buttons and I lose it fairly quickly. I'm sure there have been times that I have yelled at DS for the way he was acting and other parents nearby have thought " she clearly cant control her kid" or "what's her problem? He's just whining a little". BUT when a parent becomes physical to a point where the child is BLEEDING?? That's not poor parenting or an "off day"...that's terrible parenting and completely unacceptable under any circumstances IMO.
ETA: for spelling  (see...not perfect )
Message edited 8/5/2011 4:28:02 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:24 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
It seems everything said on this board is judged or judging. In a way, you are judging too, right? You are judging people for being nosy and not minding their own business.
I don't claim to be a perfect parent. I don't know anyone who does.
I think when you are out in public, you are open to "judgment". That's just a part of life.
In terms of being a bad parent or judging parenting, when it comes to people I know, I really do try to keep my mouth shut unless I am asked an opinion. I'm not going to agree with everyone's parenting style. That doesn't make their parenting style right or wrong. I don't even agree with my own parenting choices sometimes. I will look back and think I should have handled something differently. So, I guess I judge myself as well.
When it comes to a child's safety, it is a very fine line. It is impossible to determine whether a certain moment is a reflection of a more serious problem, or a random moment, or not fully understood interaction. But if we always kept our mouths shut, innocent children could be hurt. Victims will tell you they wish somebody spoke up for them and said something. My mom was abused as a child and always says she has no idea why nobody ever spoke up for her, said something, did something to make it stop. I'm not saying you should call every time you see a parent do something you wouldn't do. I'm saying sometimes people have a gut instinct when they see something, and their gut tells them they need to say something. Saying something doesn't mean the parent will be sent to jail or even investigated. It just means someone with more knowledge or experience will look into it.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:25 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Goobster
Posted by IansMommy23
imo its impossible to call yourself a good parent if you're smacking your kid in the face and making them bleed. NO parent should touch their child like that.
we were obviously all raised differently and have different views. you can think someones a good parent by beating their child and i can think that's horrible and trashy. my parents never laid one finger on me growing up and i would NEVER hit my son.
But that's YOU. For ex, my DH wasn't ever hit. I was. My grandparents WERE beat by their parents. My parents were not beat but occasionaly got reprimanded physically.
As I stated in the other post, my mom smacked me in the face when I was about 8. Knocked out an already loose dangly tooth...I bled. My mom is not perfect but she was FAR from abusive, or worthy of a call from CPS. I laugh with my mom about how she "knocked out my tooth". I only recently told her that all these years while she felt bad, it was already loose and dangling. LOL But you see, I wasn't abused and NEVER thought I was abused. Still don't think I was, just b/c I was occasionally hit or such.
Just b/c you never hit or got hit as a child, doesn't mean that a parent who does that on the rare occasion that they lose control, is a BAD or abusive parent. Honestly, at least I had respect for my elders when I was growing up, which is far from the case these days it seems.
this is all based on everyone's opinions and experience. you had a different experience than i did growing up. i have complete respect for my elders. you dont need to be hit to be taught respect.
when i read that you were hit that ur tooth came out i felt bad for that 8 year old girl. it kills me to hear a child is hit. i really dont care what they did to deserve it.
everyone can go back and forth on what they personally believe, but just like i can't convince you any form of hitting (dont mean a spank on the butt...even tho i can't do that) is abuse...you can't convince me its not.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:26 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
There are so many nasty, bratty, selfish animal kids out there. Someone is obviously screwing up!
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:26 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I seeh what you are saying but to me its not a judgement thing- I am not in any position to judge anyone- that is why I would call CPS- I would assume that they can judge if a family needs help or not- I am not equipped to do that
but I do feel like its my responsibility to do something if I think a child might be being abused
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:29 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by maybesoon
There are so many nasty, bratty, selfish animal kids out there. Someone is obviously screwing up!
hahaha, wonder why????
not cool with hard core hitting (spank on the tush is fine by me)
cannot believe people over hear a kid getting yelled at on a store line and want to call CPS........Oh LORDY!!!
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:29 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
AMEN!!!!
I cringe when I read how quick people are to call CPS! does anyone even know the steps taken once you do make that call? Do you even understand the consequences to doing that? the interviews with the children? the interviews with the parents? the kids teachers? the poking and prodding, etc.? Can you imagine the confusion THAT would create?
I know for a fact that some of the perfectos on here would lose their head if they saw me and my funky bunch out and about.. We are like a travelling circus at times..
and for the record I do NOT condone what that mother did BUT I will not judge based on the 2 minutes that the OP saw...
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:30 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by IansMommy23
when i read that you were hit that ur tooth came out i felt bad for that 8 year old girl. it kills me to hear a child is hit. i really dont care what they did to deserve it.
I probably cursed at my mother or did something really awful, b/c it wasnt like my mother would hit me b/c I asked for more grapes, kwim? I wasnt scarred for life. I wasnt smacked daily. It happened one time and I honestly, being the one it happened to, actually dont think of it as anything other than me being a brat who honestly probably deserved it if I didnt listen in the many other ways my mom probably tried before she resorted to the smack.
Thats why no one can really judge if CPS call is warranted from seeing a person ONE time on the street do something re their child.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:30 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
It's starting to get to me also!!
I was just out food shopping with Lily and she wanted to push the cart, so we let her...and it was a reeeeaaaaallllyyyy slow process!! I couldn't help but think to myself...'Is there an LIFer here...am I going to read about this later?"
Honestly, I didn't care what people think of me and the way I raise my daughter. She's a great kid who is thoughtful and compassionate....but she has her moments. I'd rather not be judged because of a 4-year-old's temper tantrum.
The judgement is getting to be ridiculous.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:32 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by maybesoon
There are so many nasty, bratty, selfish animal kids out there. Someone is obviously screwing up!
hahaha, wonder why????
not cool with hard core hitting (spank on the tush is fine by me)
cannot believe people over hear a kid getting yelled at on a store line and want to call CPS........Oh LORDY!!!
ITA
For all we know, the kid could take 15 mins to decide then throw a major fit when he gets in the car that he now wants the other choice over the one he chose.
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:33 PM |
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Maybe-baby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/07 774 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by bicosi
and for the record I do NOT condone what that mother did BUT I will not judge based on the 2 minutes that the OP saw...
Or what the posters "report they saw." Sometimes I feel these stories/posts are embellished for dramatic effect...and the inevitable
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:38 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Goobster
Posted by IansMommy23
imo its impossible to call yourself a good parent if you're smacking your kid in the face and making them bleed. NO parent should touch their child like that.
we were obviously all raised differently and have different views. you can think someones a good parent by beating their child and i can think that's horrible and trashy. my parents never laid one finger on me growing up and i would NEVER hit my son.
But that's YOU. For ex, my DH wasn't ever hit. I was. My grandparents WERE beat by their parents. My parents were not beat but occasionaly got reprimanded physically.
As I stated in the other post, my mom smacked me in the face when I was about 8. Knocked out an already loose dangly tooth...I bled. My mom is not perfect but she was FAR from abusive, or worthy of a call from CPS. I laugh with my mom about how she "knocked out my tooth". I only recently told her that all these years while she felt bad, it was already loose and dangling. LOL But you see, I wasn't abused and NEVER thought I was abused. Still don't think I was, just b/c I was occasionally hit or such.
Just b/c you never hit or got hit as a child, doesn't mean that a parent who does that on the rare occasion that they lose control, is a BAD or abusive parent. Honestly, at least I had respect for my elders when I was growing up, which is far from the case these days it seems.
IMO smacking in the face is the worst! it's so disrespectful and i feel when you do that you are teaching your child that its ok to smack people in their face, it's ok to handle things with physical violence as a solution. but thats just my opinion...maybe me being beaten as a child has something to do with my POV
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:39 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by JennZ
I really think some of you are out of control. Honestly, thinking of calling cps on random people not knowing them from a freaking hole in the wall. I think we all are way to high on our "Im a great parent" soapboxes. Seriously do any of you just not have a crappy day every once in a while? I think I read posts on here daily where I And think really? Whether it be, what do I do for a temp, what do I do if he sneezes to much, or who do I call for a hangnail. I think everyone thinks they are the perfect parent and cant see that sometimes you arent. Gasp.
I think there needs to a bit LESS judging and a bit more minding their business. Its really out of control.
**just MY opinion of course
yeah we should all turn a blind eye and then turn the page when we read about abused/murdered children.
Smack a child to point they bleed, go on I'm sure its the child's fault that you are having a bad day
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:45 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Goobster
Posted by IansMommy23
imo its impossible to call yourself a good parent if you're smacking your kid in the face and making them bleed. NO parent should touch their child like that.
we were obviously all raised differently and have different views. you can think someones a good parent by beating their child and i can think that's horrible and trashy. my parents never laid one finger on me growing up and i would NEVER hit my son.
But that's YOU. For ex, my DH wasn't ever hit. I was. My grandparents WERE beat by their parents. My parents were not beat but occasionaly got reprimanded physically.
As I stated in the other post, my mom smacked me in the face when I was about 8. Knocked out an already loose dangly tooth...I bled. My mom is not perfect but she was FAR from abusive, or worthy of a call from CPS. I laugh with my mom about how she "knocked out my tooth". I only recently told her that all these years while she felt bad, it was already loose and dangling. LOL But you see, I wasn't abused and NEVER thought I was abused. Still don't think I was, just b/c I was occasionally hit or such.
Just b/c you never hit or got hit as a child, doesn't mean that a parent who does that on the rare occasion that they lose control, is a BAD or abusive parent. Honestly, at least I had respect for my elders when I was growing up, which is far from the case these days it seems.
Its for CPS to decide, that is why they exist
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:46 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Could you imagine what the case load would be like if everyone was picking up the phone reporting a parent yelling at their kid in Dunkin Donuts, the mall, Target?
It would be out of control and the kids who really DO need help, wouldn't get it.
I can't imagine calling them up and saying- "Um, yes, I just witnessed a dad who was REALLY mean to his poor son! He yelled at him in Target! I got his plate number- can you check him out?"
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| Posted 8/5/11 4:47 PM |
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