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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Birthday party taking sibiling
Hi my daughter got invited to a birthday party on Thursday. She normally goes to school at that time, party is 11-1 and she goes to school 12-225 but Im taking her out to attend the party. The problem is I will have my 3 year old son with me. I really would love for her to go to the birthday party but I would have to take him with me. There is no one whatsoever to leave him with. I have no one. I was going to RSVP and offer to pay for my son. What do I do? Do I call the bounce place and see how much it would cost? Do I not go?
Thanks so much.
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Posted 11/12/17 1:03 PM  |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Birthday party taking sibiling
Call the parent or text and ask if you can bring your 3 year old and tell them you will pay. Shouldn’t be an issue if you are upfront about it.
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| Posted 11/12/17 1:15 PM |
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
I wouldn't go. You can't add a guest to a party, in my opinion. I'm sure there are limits on participants at a bounce place, what if everyone brought an extra guest?
Just my opinion but I don't think it's appropriate, I would feel bad that my daughter couldn't attend, but not everything works out all the time.
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| Posted 11/12/17 4:15 PM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by LiveForMoments
I wouldn't go. You can't add a guest to a party, in my opinion. I'm sure there are limits on participants at a bounce place, what if everyone brought an extra guest?
Just my opinion but I don't think it's appropriate, I would feel bad that my daughter couldn't attend, but not everything works out all the time.
This. Unless you know the mom and are comfortable with asking the mom. I've turned down parties because I couldn't get a sitter for the other 2 kids. I always feel bad if my kid can't attend but sometimes it just doesn't work.
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| Posted 11/12/17 4:21 PM |
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Disneygirl17
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/16 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Unless it’s a super close friend or family member, I wouldn’t even ask. It sucks but your putting that Mom on the spot
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| Posted 11/12/17 4:29 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by LiveForMoments
I wouldn't go. You can't add a guest to a party, in my opinion. I'm sure there are limits on participants at a bounce place, what if everyone brought an extra guest?
Just my opinion but I don't think it's appropriate, I would feel bad that my daughter couldn't attend, but not everything works out all the time.
Ditto
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| Posted 11/12/17 4:40 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
Name:
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Birthday party taking sibiling
I probably wouldn't go because I don't like bounce places. But if it were my party, I honestly wouldn't mind if you brought him as long as I wasn't dealing with a strict maximum.
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| Posted 11/12/17 5:43 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Birthday party taking sibiling
Will your son want to participate? My 2nd is so far up my butt that I can take her to any birthday party and she just sits on my lap.
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| Posted 11/12/17 5:57 PM |
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Siren77
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/09 828 total posts
Name:
Siren77
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Is there another child that your daughter can go with? Do you actually have to stay at the party? (Not sure how old your daughter is)
Maybe ask around and see if another parent can take your daughter?
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| Posted 11/12/17 8:01 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
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| Posted 11/12/17 8:04 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1068 total posts
Name:
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Birthday party taking sibiling
I'm assuming that your daughter is in Pre-K since she's not in school full time. How do you know the birthday kid? If they're classmates, then why is the party during school hours? If you know the mom well, I would explain the situation and bring the sibling. If not, then I would send my kid to school like normal. She wouldn't even realize she missed the party.
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| Posted 11/12/17 8:25 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
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| Posted 11/12/17 9:04 PM |
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
This
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| Posted 11/12/17 9:08 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
Yeah it wouldn't bother me. You are offering to pay too so...
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| Posted 11/12/17 9:28 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by anonymoususer
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
This
Just to play devil's advocate. Last year for my twins party a parent asked me. I said of course. They offered to pay. I said no Then another did. Said ok to the first so had to say yes
Then another. Then another. 4 in total
Day of the party 3 came with siblings that they said wouldn't play. Kids were screaming. They wanted to. I said go ahead it's ok
By the end I paid for 7 extra kids. I know I could have said no from the start but I felt bad
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| Posted 11/12/17 9:34 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by gina409
Posted by anonymoususer
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
This
Just to play devil's advocate. Last year for my twins party a parent asked me. I said of course. They offered to pay. I said no Then another did. Said ok to the first so had to say yes
Then another. Then another. 4 in total
Day of the party 3 came with siblings that they said wouldn't play. Kids were screaming. They wanted to. I said go ahead it's ok
By the end I paid for 7 extra kids. I know I could have said no from the start but I felt bad
I think a lot of people, if presented with the question of can a guest's sibling come too and the parents will pay, would feel obligated to play the "good host" and not let the parent pay the extra fee. And as we see here, someone got taken advantage of by trying to be a good host. And extra kids doesn't just stop at the cost per kid to attend the party. The host will also likely feel obligated to make sure to provide party favors, food, cake, etc. to the extra children. I personally would skip this party. You could be honest and just say you have no one to watch your other child, so you won't be able to make it. That's a little different than outright asking if the sibling can come. It puts the ball in the hosts court. They can either respond, it's fine to bring the sibling, or they can just leave it if they don't want the extra child at the party and graciously accept your RSVP of "no." And if they're having the partry in the middle of a weekday, then they will probably be expecting a lot of "no"s bc a lot of parent have to work, kids have to go to school, siblings have to be watched, etc.
Message edited 11/12/2017 9:49:21 PM.
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| Posted 11/12/17 9:45 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by nycbuslady
I'm assuming that your daughter is in Pre-K since she's not in school full time. How do you know the birthday kid? If they're classmates, then why is the party during school hours? If you know the mom well, I would explain the situation and bring the sibling. If not, then I would send my kid to school like normal. She wouldn't even realize she missed the party.
My daughter goes to Pre-K Mon, Wed and Friday. On Tuesday and Thursday she goes to an activity gym class that I signed her up for. I was surprised that it was during the day too and especially during school hours.
She knows the birthday girl from her regular class that she is in. She always speaks about her. I don't think this girl is signed up for the gym class. I don't know the mom at all. The birthday girl discussed her party with my daugher who came out and told me she was going to the girls party. The invitations were given out in the classroom.
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| Posted 11/12/17 10:08 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Birthday party taking sibiling
I missed the part about the party being in a Thursday morning. In that case, I'd decline. That's ridiculous. Who can attend a party then??
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| Posted 11/12/17 10:34 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
I know and its not at night its in the afternoon. I was surprised.
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| Posted 11/13/17 8:56 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
I would respond that unfortunately you cannot go because you have no one to watch your 3yo and see how the parent responds. They may say, dont worry bring him or they may say ok sorry. This way the ball is in their court bc they would need to pay for a 3yo - he wouldn't be free.
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| Posted 11/13/17 9:56 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PennyCat
Honestly? Before J’s party a school friend’s parent emailed me to ask if they could bring a sibling. I didn’t think anything of it and was just glad the school friend would be joining us. I told them we’d be happy to have the sibling join the fun.
I guess it depends on the people hosting, but honestly if it were ME, I’d be fine with it.
I agree. I'd be happy to have a sibling join, especially if it meant one of my child's friends would be there to celebrate.
Yeah it wouldn't bother me. You are offering to pay too so...
This.
I don't know - since it's a Thursday - you would think most people with more than one child under 5 would be in a bind as most people have at least one working parent during the week.
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| Posted 11/13/17 10:20 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by jams92
I would respond that unfortunately you cannot go because you have no one to watch your 3yo and see how the parent responds. They may say, dont worry bring him or they may say ok sorry. This way the ball is in their court bc they would need to pay for a 3yo - he wouldn't be free.
I like this suggestion. If it's nursery school I would assume it's a small class and the parent may not mind but I wouldn't want to put them on the spot by outright asking, even if you offer to pay. See what she says when you tell her honestly why you can't go.
I couldn't believe how many people brought siblings to the recent parties my kindergartener went to. It made me never want to throw a classmate party again. 
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| Posted 11/13/17 11:29 AM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Thank you all for your responses. I just sent her a text and telling her I would love to attend the party but I have no one to watch my 3 year old little boy. She texted me back that they had an unexpected death in her family and they have to fly out and reschedule the party for some time in December. Ill see what happens. Thanks again.
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| Posted 11/13/17 11:47 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
I think if you have to bring them you do so with expectation that they will not be participating.
I have had people do this to me one offered to pay I didn't take it. Of course I say yes I can't say no. My problem with this is one my kids list have a lo people on them. I am always right by my max. Other issues is I don't invite people I am not super close with their siblings these are friends if I had the room I would but I have to cut it off somewhere. The problem when you ask to bring a sibling I say yes but then I feel bad my other friends couldn't bring their other kids and worry that they are a little upset that someone brought their other children (my hope is most figure out that the sibling wasn't invited any the parent brought them)
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| Posted 11/13/17 2:02 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday party taking sibiling
Posted by luckysmom
Posted by LiveForMoments
I wouldn't go. You can't add a guest to a party, in my opinion. I'm sure there are limits on participants at a bounce place, what if everyone brought an extra guest?
Just my opinion but I don't think it's appropriate, I would feel bad that my daughter couldn't attend, but not everything works out all the time.
This. Unless you know the mom and are comfortable with asking the mom. I've turned down parties because I couldn't get a sitter for the other 2 kids. I always feel bad if my kid can't attend but sometimes it just doesn't work.
This! Unless its like your Best Friend, it is never OK to ask to bring a sibling even if you offer to pay.
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| Posted 11/13/17 2:24 PM |
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