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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!
Member since 7/10 1050 total posts
Name:
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Being judged for doing IVF
This morning I was just having a conversation about adopting pets with a woman I work with and friend and how I do not believe in pet stores etc. It some how moved on to a story about her brother and how him and his wife did IVF and how they are conceited to want to have their own child when are so many kids to be adopted and then not only did she not adopt after the second one she went for IVF again for her second child. She does not know I am going through with IVF but, she look on my face I must have lost all the blood and went pale. I just was like WOW people really can be insensitive! 
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Posted 2/1/12 12:56 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
1st... she needs a refresher in what conceited means...
2nd... its none of her buisness..
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:00 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
u can tell her from me she just won douche bag of the year and it is only feb 1st!
she set the record!
she is a idiot..a moron..a no compassion dumbas$
i am sorry she said that..it is none of her biz and i am sure she had kids by relaxing holding her legs in the air on the first month when she was not even trying
Message edited 2/1/2012 1:23:22 PM.
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:09 PM |
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IAMMRSBROWN
3 under 2!!!
Member since 10/10 2476 total posts
Name:
Carey
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by AngnShaun
1st... she needs a refresher in what conceited means...
QUOTE]
Im sorry, but people are absolute idiots when it comes to IF. They're insensitive jerks who dont understand any of it. 
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:10 PM |
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LadyGIGI
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/11 444 total posts
Name:
DG
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
i think its really hard to understand the struggles of IF unless you have gone through it yourself.
i was just talking with a girlfriend about our situation and she said "its just like love, it will come when youre not looking for it" while i know she didnt mean any harm by her statement i can help but get upset but i know im sensitive to it all now. and all i wanted to say was realllly, it not thinking about it going to make my PCOS go away or increase DHs swimmers?
chin up.
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:27 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by LadyGIGI
i think its really hard to understand the struggles of IF unless you have gone through it yourself.
i was just talking with a girlfriend about our situation and she said "its just like love, it will come when youre not looking for it" while i know she didnt mean any harm by her statement i can help but get upset but i know im sensitive to it all now. and all i wanted to say was realllly, it not thinking about it going to make my PCOS go away or increase DHs swimmers?
chin up.
I dont think thats really the same as this... this was pretty obvious that someone has a problem with IVF, not that they are trying to make her feel better and saying the wrong thing...
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:28 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
 Wow! That's some nerve!!! I don't think I could have bit my tongue. I wouldn't had to restrain myself from smacking her! 
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:30 PM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Someone actually made a comment to me about how IF treatments, IVF, IUI, etc "goes against nature". They also said that this "defeats the purpose of survival of the fittest"
They didn't know I was going through IF, didn't even know I was trying, I'm sure if they did they prob wouldn't have said that. But it made me realize that other people must feel this way too. I got so sad and wondered if I was doing something wrong.
But like Gina said, the people that say these insensitive comments are usually the ones that get pregnant on their 1st try w/ ease. If they were in our shoes I bet they'd be singing a different tune.
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:31 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Wow what an asssshole.
1st its none of her business and second how is doing IVF to become a parent make you conceited. Some people really need to STheFU.
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:32 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by AngnShaun
1st... she needs a refresher in what conceited means...
2nd... its none of her buisness..
And this.
I hate when people walk around so high and mighty like they have all the answers and then pushing their idiot ideas on anyone who will listen. I'm sure if that woman ever struggled with IF she would be singing a MUCH different tune with regards to IVF and wanting to do anything possible to be pregnant with your own blood child.
Message edited 2/1/2012 1:33:37 PM.
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:33 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by AngnShaun
1st... she needs a refresher in what conceited means...
2nd... its none of her buisness..
And this.
I hate when people walk around so high and mighty like they have all the answers and then pushing their idiot ideas on anyone who will listen. I'm sure if that woman ever struggled with IF she would be singing a MUCH different tune with regards to IVF and wanting to do anything possible to be pregnant with your own blood child.
its like that thing dr oz had... the audience was 50/50 on their opinion of women over 40 having children... who the eff are you.. what difference does it make to any of them...
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:38 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by AngnShaun
1st... she needs a refresher in what conceited means...
2nd... its none of her buisness..
And this.
I hate when people walk around so high and mighty like they have all the answers and then pushing their idiot ideas on anyone who will listen. I'm sure if that woman ever struggled with IF she would be singing a MUCH different tune with regards to IVF and wanting to do anything possible to be pregnant with your own blood child.
its like that thing dr oz had... the audience was 50/50 on their opinion of women over 40 having children... who the eff are you.. what difference does it make to any of them...
Exactly. What's it to anyone how someone has their child(ren) or at what age. To just pass judgement without knowing someone's background is just so BEYOND wrong.
Using myself as an example, I would've NEVER thought I would be as old as I was when I had my DD (33) or even now with TTC #2 (36). I also never thought I would have problems, until I did. And thank god for medicine and RE's..........my beautiful, amazing, incredible DD would not be in my life if it weren't for them. How could anyone look at my DD and look at the happiness we share as a family and tell me that I was selfish for wanting that and I should've just sucked it up, dealt the hand that was given to me, and adopt someone else's child? And don't take this the wrong way, adoption is a WONDERFUL thing, my BFF was adopted, but to just say I shouldn't even try to have my own child through any means possible is so cruel and hurtful.
I would've moved heaven and earth to have my DD and even now after countless months of disappointment, three miscarriages, a million doctor appts, tons of fertility meds, and more I'm willing to keep trying yet again because having another child and growing my family is the most important thing to me. So I will keep putting myself through all of that to bring another amazing little person into this world and into my life. What exactly is selfish (and in that stupid woman's words "conceited") about that??
Ugh, sorry for the rant. It just makes me so angry because I really believe that until you know what it's like to go through even one iota of IF you should simply S-T-F-U because you have NO idea what it's like to go through it both physically and emotionally. 
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| Posted 2/1/12 1:51 PM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by wantabuninoven
This morning I was just having a conversation about adopting pets with a woman I work with and friend and how I do not believe in pet stores etc. It some how moved on to a story about her brother and how him and his wife did IVF and how they are conceited to want to have their own child when are so many kids to be adopted and then not only did she not adopt after the second one she went for IVF again for her second child. She does not know I am going through with IVF but, she look on my face I must have lost all the blood and went pale. I just was like WOW people really can be insensitive!
What a freakin idiot! I hate it when people throw out the adoption card. Oh your eggs have vanished, why don't you adopt. Oh your husband has wacky sperm, hay go adopt.
Adopting is not easy at all. Does she think you can just go down to the local kid orphanage and pick one out????
How many has she adopted, since there are soooo many kids that can be adopted. . .
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| Posted 2/1/12 2:24 PM |
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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!
Member since 7/10 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
hahah that is what I said. I was like adoption is not easy and its not cheap. The thing is we are friends and it was just shocked she would say that. The thing is you really don't get it until you have been through IF.
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| Posted 2/1/12 2:58 PM |
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
People are dumb. It's not like "oh don't go and get a purebred dog when there are thousands of dogs in the pound who need homes". With that insane logic, no one should try to conceive biological children because there are so many children in the pound...er..I mean orphanage.
I was stupid enough to mention that I was having ussues ttc to the moron girl at quest and she said "why don't you just adopt". I said its expensive. so she says no, my friend adopted a forster kid for free. They just have to let the mom see the baby. Um nothanks!! I don't want some crackhead being part of my childs like, adopted or not.
People think its like oh whatever just adopt, but dont they think that maybe we want OUR OWN child. Besides there is a ton more we can do before adoption.
Then you have morons like my mother in law who thinks DHs cousin "would have adopted by now if she wanted kids" because she has been married 3 years and doesn't have kids yet. So according to her she obviously must have been ttc since her honeymoon and if she doesn't have kids by now b/c of issues then should have adopted by now. Um yeah.
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| Posted 2/1/12 3:11 PM |
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bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds
Member since 8/09 2106 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Wow, that's some logic  So if a couple deliberately tries to have a baby rather than adopting one of these poor suffering orphans, is that conceited too?
My mom has an expression for people like that: diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of thought.
I feel bad for her SIL who has to be judged by this hag after going through so much. 
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| Posted 2/1/12 3:30 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
I agree 100% with everything everyone else has posted. Unfortunately most people who havent endured IF or had trouble conceiving cant possibly wrap their brain around what its like for someone in that situation. They speak out of ignorance when really they should just STFU.
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| Posted 2/1/12 4:13 PM |
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shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!
Member since 5/07 2934 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
What an ignorant person!
If she has kids, age should be counting her blessings, if she doesn't, she better hope she doesn't struggle with IF and not make judgements about others, without walking a day in their shoes.
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| Posted 2/1/12 4:49 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by bookworm
My mom has an expression for people like that: diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of thought.
I feel bad for her SIL who has to be judged by this hag after going through so much.
Love your mom's expression!!
ITA, I feel bad for anyone who has to come in her judgemental path 
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| Posted 2/1/12 5:27 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by LadyGIGI
i think its really hard to understand the struggles of IF unless you have gone through it yourself.
i was just talking with a girlfriend about our situation and she said "its just like love, it will come when youre not looking for it" while i know she didnt mean any harm by her statement i can help but get upset but i know im sensitive to it all now. and all i wanted to say was realllly, it not thinking about it going to make my PCOS go away or increase DHs swimmers?
chin up.
I have heard this so many times before and I HATE HATE HATE IT!! I feel like it totally dismisses what I'm going through if people make comments like that...
The best is now that I'm doing surrogacy and I hear "Oh now that you'll be relaxed and the pressure is off, you'll get pregnant" .. Really???? Ok .... and then I'll have a d&c like a month later! Thanks!
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| Posted 2/1/12 7:04 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
People can be very insensitive. IF is so difficult to understand. I knew I had PCOS. I knew it wouldn't be easy to get pregnant. I had NO idea how much work it would be and how emotionally draining it would be.
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| Posted 2/1/12 7:48 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
I am so sorry you had to go through this. How insensitive and horrible of her You don't deserve it.
my response:
1. Bish, adoption isn't for everyone. It's costly, and just not everyone's ideal situation.
2. Bish, they're not puppies. Didn't you ever hear of I WANT MY OWN CHILD?
3. Out with BFF and some acquaintances, this chick who is a nurse said to me "don't you feel like you're trying to play God?"
Bish, please. I talk to God every night before I go to bed. He said you're ugly and should go scratch.
4. if I hear this story ONE more time "Cousin so-and-so couldn't have a baby and was going crazy, so they adopted a baby from Guatemala and guess what? 3 months later she got pregnant! See all you need to do is relax!" 
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| Posted 2/1/12 10:40 PM |
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by LIRascal
**I talk to God every night before I go to bed. He said you're ugly and should go scratch.**:
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| Posted 2/2/12 8:20 AM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by LIRascal
3. Out with BFF and some acquaintances, this chick who is a nurse said to me "don't you feel like you're trying to play God?"
Bish, please. I talk to God every night before I go to bed. He said you're ugly and should go scratch.
I am crying laughing at this! So good.
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| Posted 2/2/12 9:27 AM |
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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!
Member since 7/10 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being judged for doing IVF
Posted by LIRascal
I am so sorry you had to go through this. How insensitive and horrible of her You don't deserve it.
my response:
1. Bish, adoption isn't for everyone. It's costly, and just not everyone's ideal situation.
2. Bish, they're not puppies. Didn't you ever hear of I WANT MY OWN CHILD?
3. Out with BFF and some acquaintances, this chick who is a nurse said to me "don't you feel like you're trying to play God?"
Bish, please. I talk to God every night before I go to bed. He said you're ugly and should go scratch.
4. if I hear this story ONE more time "Cousin so-and-so couldn't have a baby and was going crazy, so they adopted a baby from Guatemala and guess what? 3 months later she got pregnant! See all you need to do is relax!"
baahahahah!!!!!
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| Posted 2/2/12 9:36 AM |
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