Babies and Pets

call me naive or dumb

but what is going to happend when I have a baby - that I can no longer love my first "baby"??

I don't understand why people seem to get "rid" of there pets when they have a child

I am missing something? Is there something I should be aware of....

I am only asking this b/c I called about a cute persian cat that needed a home a few weeks back- and I was told the owner had a baby and no longer wanted it

and I seem to see this more and more

I just don't get it......

I don't mean to start drama- but I am sure this will- but this question has been on my mind lately

Re: Babies and Pets

The only dog I had to rehome due to my son being born was a rescued Fighting dog that had not completely lost his *hunger* for bait. This is incredibly dangerous with an infant in the house. I personally re-homed him, and still keep in close contact with the new owner.

I have 4 other dogs that are perfectly happy with me & our new baby.

Some people have children with allergies. Others just simply do not have the ability or desire to care for a pet and a baby. Not to say that there are not other valid reasons, but it seems that a lot of people do not look 15 + years into the future when they get a pet.

Re: Babies and Pets

The way I see it is, it is the "I WANT" senario. I want a pet now, who cares about the future?

The people you refer to "love" their pets when it's convenient, easy, fun, new, exciting, like their "baby" etc. After that, it's just too much extra "work" and only a human baby needs to be taken care of.

I can't see it any other way than they never really loved the pet that much in the first place. It was about what they got from the pet, not what they could give to the pet (in MOST cases, not all, but I do feel MOST).

Pets are for life IMO (unless you are deathly allergic and have tried all resources).

There is nothing that sickens me more than this senario. Their "first baby" all of a sudden can't be trusted, can't get it's needs met, etc. Just disgraceful IMO to let down your family pet like that and give him away.

People like this should not get another pet again b/c it is highly likely another family situation will arise that they don't have "time" to give the pet what it needs and really don't have the concept of loving their pet unconditionally (and treating it as a living, breathing creature with NEEDS and WANTS, just like humans).

These are strong feelings of mine, some may see as harsh but that's MO and no one can convince me otherwise.

Message edited 3/12/2008 12:22:38 AM.

Re: Babies and Pets

I think unfortunately people don't THINK before they go out and get a pet. It turns into an impulse buy and when the goin' gets tough, the pet gets goin'.

I agree, I'm seeing it more often lately and it makes me sad.

I equate it to giving birth to a special needs child. Would you give up your child b/c they require alittle more attention? No, IMO, I wouldn't. But unfortunately, there ARE people out there who would honestly say a human child and an animal child are not equal.

I think that's the difference between pet owners and animal lovers.

It's sad really.

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Message edited 3/12/2008 12:30:10 AM.

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Message edited 3/12/2008 12:36:58 AM.

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Re: Babies and Pets

Posted by Goobster

Posted by Jennie0898

It's called UNCONDITIONAL love. Unfortunately, there are people out there who don't get it like you and I (and many others on this board) do.

I just posted the same thing as you, at the same time. Pet lovers think alike...

Re: Babies and Pets

I think it's a tough call until you have children. I'm not saying that some people don't think animals are disposable, but I also have seen some very uncontrollable situations over the years.

No matter how much a dog is your baby, when the real baby arrives it's going to take precedence. It's a child and if the dog and/or cat snap at the baby or start acting out in a bad way, it can become a very difficult situation. Also, if the baby is allergic it again becomes impossible to keep the pet.

I am a true animal lover and love my pets dearly. I have dumped thousands of $$$ into them when they got sick or hurt and didn't think twice. But, I can honestly say that when my child is born, if the dog goes after him or he is allergic, I would have to think about other alternatives. Obviously, my first option would be to have a trainer come and help us to deal with it. But, in the long run you just can't predict how an animal that hasn't been exposed to children is going to act. You can only hope for the best and try to prepare the animal beforehand as best you can.

If someone really can't keep a dog after trying alternatives, I can't pass judgement. I've seen firsthand how hard it is to deal with a newborn baby and a jealous dog.

Re: Babies and Pets

I think unfortunately people don't THINK before they go out and get a pet. It turns into an impulse buy and when the goin' gets tough, the pet gets goin'.


Very true statement. I do alot of volunteer work for a pug organization and alot of time the pug I were picking up that family were surrendering were because of having a child and not having the time for the animal it broke my heart so many times picking up these poor puppies.

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Message edited 3/12/2008 2:48:25 PM.

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Message edited 3/12/2008 2:53:19 PM.

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I agree that many people do not think ahead when they get a pet. We had sandy for 3 years before mikayla was born, and she was and still is our baby

she is amazing with the baby, I could not ask for a better dog

I mean, look at this face

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Re: Babies and Pets

Posted by Jennie0898

Posted by stephanief

IMAGE

Awwww... so CUTE!!!

Re: Babies and Pets

Having a baby and a dog was def. hard at first. That being said - Molly was still my baby. We were always nervous of how she would be with the baby because she was really agressive - but she was such a little dog - that we weren't worried that she would do any harm. We hoped that she would grow to love my son the way she loved us.

Unfortunately, she died and she didn't get to grow up with my son. I still cry thinking about her (or typing) - and now we have a new dog. While this dog is amazing - I don't have the same feelings that I had towards Molly just yet. I do find that I pay more attention to the baby - and I don't know if it's that I'm busier with the baby now - or if it's because she's not Molly.

Either way - having this dog now - I know for a fact that Molly was REALLY off. This dog is amazing with my son - and I do think that Molly would have maybe hurt him. Who knows. Everything happens for a reason but I know that never in a million years would I have given Molly up. I would have paid any amount of money if she was acting up - or agressively towards my son.

I think that to give up a pet - well, that has to be the last resort - and I still don't even think I could do it.

Sorry for the long winded answer.

Re: Babies and Pets

If it doesn't work out, I understand. But some people don't even try! They get pregnant and then it's time to get rid of the cat/dog.

I'll never forget I worked with a woman in her 20's. Her and her husband had a yellow lab (a lab - for god's sake! known for being good with kids) Once they were 6 months pregnant they said they had to get rid of the dog. Thy said they loved the dog and it was a good dog, but now they were having a baby and the dog had to go. I tried for the next 3 months to convince them that they hadn't even given the dog a chance. That the dog will probably adore the baby. I lost. I still get sad when I think about it.

I guess the difference is whether your dog is part of the family or just a dog.

Re: Babies and Pets

I'll admit that juggling the baby and dog is really really hard.

Our dog was our baby and used to sleeping with us and snuggling next to us on the couch.

That changes when you have a helpless infant in your arms.

In those first few months when you are struggling with sleep and schedules and feedings, you do lose some patience with a barking dog who wakes up the baby or steals his socks off his feet, etc.

Brodie simply did not understand the shift in his role and acted out sometimes.

We should have done more to prepare him. We should have thought of the long-term when we spoiled him rotten for the first few years.

I still love my dog to pieces, but my son comes first. All the time.

That being said, I do try to find special Brodie time. I get up early now to take him for walks.

I make sure to snuggle with him after Logan is asleep.

And as Logan gets bigger and more able to interact I think they are going to be buddies and be great together.

It's hard, but you find a way to make it work. And if it can't you try to find a loving home for him.

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Ok I hope I dont get flamed for this but, we had to find a new home for our dog when I got pregnant. I still think about him all the time and cry, but I KNOW that it was better for HIM .

Our dog was my life, my buddy.He was professionally trained, and was just an icredible dog. When I got pregnant he changed, he could sense it, and just completely changed..He became very aggressive torward me, started biting, to the point where he would make me bleed, he pushed me on the stairs and made me fall, and became destructive, extremely destructive. He would bark and growl at me and then get something of mine and chew it, or pee on it, nothing of my husbands just mine, he ripped apart the pillows I slept with, he would pee on me if I was sitting on the floor playing with him We took him to the vet, who said he was reacting to my hormonal changes, and we also took him to a trainer. We spent thousands of dollars on trainers, and nothing was working.

Then I got sick..so sick, sick to the point I could not get out of bed. Poor dog was used to going for 3 long walks and a jog every day, and I couldnt do that for him anymore. So we hired a dog walker, who also wasnt doing it for him. It just wasnt fair to him, so we found him a home that could care for him the way he deserved. People we know, and we still keep in touch with. After a few days of living in his new home he was back to his old self. Well behaved, happy, affectionate. He wasnt happy with us anymore, and now he is happy again...Sometimes it isnt the people making a decision to just dump their pet, sometimes it really is better for the animal.

Re: Babies and Pets

I think there is a difference between getting rid of a pet just because you don't want it anymore and getting rid of a pet because that pet is causing harm or danger to you and your family. So to maybeababyin08, I would never flame you for that.

That having been said, I have 2 cats Norton and Trixie. My first babies. The ones who taught how to be a mommie. The ones who taught me about dependence on me and unconditional love. All throughout my pregnancy I worried SO much about how they were now going to have to share their mommy. And how they would react with the baby. I knew Norton would react fine. But my trixie was questionable. Cats can be very spiteful.

Fast forward to now, yes, Matthew is #1. My love for my cats has never waivered. They are warming up to him after 8 months but they still aren't there yet. Mostly because Matthew likes to pull their hair and tails. Matthew is going to need to learn how to respect their space. But after he goes to sleep I make sure it is mommy and kitty time. They jump on my laps like old times and sleep. They take every opportunity while matthew isn't there to cuddle with me and I think they accept it. And I really go out of my way to spend as much time as I can with them.

BUT, i have one fear. Right now it is my BIGGGEST FEAR. And one that I never go a second without thinking of. DH has bad allergies. There is a chance Matthew might have them as well. I am SO AFRAID of the day where an allergist tells me that Matthew is allergic to cats and that I have to give them a new home. I don't know what I'd do. And it is scary to think that this actually may happen one day. I cry on a daily basis thinking about it. Just thinking about the possibility. I'm scared to death. But in these cases what are you going to do? You have to do what is best for your child.

OK, gotta stop because I have the lump in my throat.

Message edited 3/13/2008 3:40:30 PM.

Re: Babies and Pets

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DS is 6 months old and I'll be honest...its tough at times. We certainly don't have as much as time as we would like to dedicate to our dog and he is at times emotionally neglected ...we have contemplated on maybe finding him a new home but I just can't and won't do it. We're constantly working on how to manage our time better and spend time with him the way we used to. At the beginning, Max irritated me so much. I was sleep deprived, I had a newborn I needed to take care of, my house, etc. and here was this dog that was my shadow everywhere I went and everything I did he was in my way..meanwhile all he wanted was to be cared for the way he is used to. But it got better, patience persevered, and things got so much better. We love him unconditionally and as hard as it was I am glad that we stuck with it and everything sort of worked itself out. But I understand why some people would give their pet away bc its just really hard at the beginning. I think its a little difficult to judge unless you were in that position.

Message edited 3/13/2008 12:55:11 PM.

Re: Babies and Pets

Posted by Goobster

The way I see it is, it is the "I WANT" senario. I want a pet now, who cares about the future?

The people you refer to "love" their pets when it's convenient, easy, fun, new, exciting, like their "baby" etc. After that, it's just too much extra "work" and only a human baby needs to be taken care of.

I can't see it any other way than they never really loved the pet that much in the first place. It was about what they got from the pet, not what they could give to the pet (in MOST cases, not all, but I do feel MOST).

Pets are for life IMO (unless you are deathly allergic and have tried all resources).

There is nothing that sickens me more than this senario. Their "first baby" all of a sudden can't be trusted, can't get it's needs met, etc. Just disgraceful IMO to let down your family pet like that and give him away.

People like this should not get another pet again b/c it is highly likely another family situation will arise that they don't have "time" to give the pet what it needs and really don't have the concept of loving their pet unconditionally (and treating it as a living, breathing creature with NEEDS and WANTS, just like humans).

These are strong feelings of mine, some may see as harsh but that's MO and no one can convince me otherwise.