Are you going to be a SAHM?

I've worked and been really successful ever since I graduated from school. My DH and I both earn really strong salaries, and we're used to a certain lifestyle. But, when the baby is born, I'm really ambivolent of what I'm going to do. Part of me says I know that personally I won't be able to leave my child with a stranger(that's just me personally, not judging ANYONE!!) and the other part of me is saying I've always made my own money and to now to become a SAHM and relying on DH's money is mentally going to make me upset. So I'm really torn. My maternity leave is only six weeks and the thought of leaving a six week old child with a stranger scares me. My parents both still work, and his do too, so we don't have anyone in the family. At this point, we do have the luxury of saying if I want to stay home I could, it won't be a problem, but do I want to???
I keep saying that this would be my time to possibly go out on my own and try to open up my own business..but is that really feasible with a baby???

What do you guys plan on doing....

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Staying at home for a while. If we can manage I will stay home for the next few years too. It's important to my DH and I that I be home with our children, it's how we were both raised and it's ideally how we would like to raise our chilren too. If you can financially swing it I would say to stay home for a while, if you find that you miss working then maybe go back P/T or something. It's really a personal choice and you have to do what's best for you. My own personal feeling is that you only have one chance and they grow up SO fast so I don't want to miss a minute. But again, everyone has to do what is best for them and not everyone can (or wants to be) a SAHM. Maybe see how you feel after your maternity leave is up and make the final decision then.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Posted by bicosi

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

Message edited 5/2/2008 12:41:05 PM.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Posted by pickles16

Posted by bicosi

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

We do have FMLA, but according the employee handbook its only 6 mos. The company is based out in Cali, so not sure if there are different laws for Cali and NY and which ones pertain to me

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I am going to continue to work. DH has his own practice, so we use my benefits for the family. Also, I'm a teacher, so I have pretty good hours.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Posted by bicosi

Posted by pickles16

Posted by bicosi

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

We do have FMLA, but according the employee handbook its only 6 mos. The company is based out in Cali, so not sure if there are different laws for Cali and NY and which ones pertain to me

6 mos. or 6 weeks?

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I worked until DS was almost 17 mo. I was laid off so I became a SAHM. With this one, my plan is to wait and see how I feel about it all in January. While I miss being "needed" by adults, I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE being home with DS. He runs up to me a hugs me all day long, even while we are playing. No job in the world can beat that

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Posted by pickles16

Posted by bicosi

Posted by pickles16

Posted by bicosi

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

We do have FMLA, but according the employee handbook its only 6 mos. The company is based out in Cali, so not sure if there are different laws for Cali and NY and which ones pertain to me

6 mos. or 6 weeks?

I just edited..I wish 6 mos, I meant 6 weeks

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

i will be a SAHM... i feel exactly the way you do... only i dont earn a good salary, DH does. with that said.. we talked about it, and realized that if we put the child in daycare, it would pretty much cancel my pay out.. not saying everything.. its just not worth it, and decided it was best for me to stay home.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Our original plan was hoping my boss would let me work from home.

My boss took care of that situation with a big fat no.

So although I haven't told work yet, we do not anticipate me going back to work.

But, things could change.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I will be returning to work full-time after my 3-month leave is over. Unfortunately, we can't afford to live on one salary right now

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

No, I actually just accepted a new job w/ another network.

It's a tremendous opportunity and I couldn't pass it up. I know it will be heartbreaking to leave DS after 12 weeks, but I have to do this for myself and my family. It will afford us all a better life.
I only accepted after serious discussion w/ DH and he is completely on board.

MIL will be watching DS anyway (that was always the plan), so I know he's in good hands.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Check with your company maybe its 12 weeks total with 6 being paid. Also maybe you can work something out with them even if you dont qualify for FMLA.

What I did was take my 12 weeks, during that time I realized that not only do I enjoy working but I like knowing that by me working we are able to afford certain things for DS that we wouldn't without my salary (saving for college included) So I went back to work FT
We are lucky also that for right now my ILs watch DS so he gets more attention with them than he does at home

So I am playing it by ear, I go on a 3 month plan, every 3 months I re-evaluate and decide what is the best thing for me and my family.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I wish I could be a SAHM. Unforunately, since we bought our house I can't. I do work good hours and could have my mother or sister (who is a SAHM) watch my child.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Posted by pickles16

Posted by bicosi

Does your company have FMLA? You can stay out on maternity for up to 12 weeks and then decide what you're going to do.

I was in the same boat and when I went out on leave both times, I swore I'd just SAH, but I was lucky. I had my mom watch DS, so I went back to work and then when DD came along, I was blessed to find my nanny. With this one, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I plan on going on leave (like I did the other 2 times) and decide then what I'm going to do.

I wish you the very best! It's def not an easy decision to make!

We do have FMLA, but according the employee handbook its only 6 wks. The company is based out in Cali, so not sure if there are different laws for Cali and NY and which ones pertain to me

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I could be a SAHM if I wanted to but I feel I've worked too hard to give up my career now. But at the same time I don't want to leave the baby at such a young age. It s tough decision and at 38 weeks I still haven't decided yet. There is a new flex hours program at my company beginning soon where you can work 4 x 10 hour days and have the 5th day off each week, which makes it much more appealing to go back there. But ideally, I would like to work part time and be a SAHM part time.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I wish we had the option, but we can not afford it on one salary right now.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I stay at home during the day and work at night !!


can you take a few months off then go back when your ready?

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I didn't want to be a SAHM because I thought my MBA would go to waste, I thought that I would need to be in the working world, etc etc.
I got laid off when DD was 13 months old this past December and it has been THE BEST thing that has happened to me.
I didn't realize how much I really enjoy just being a mom.
Part of it, too, could be that I hated my job anyway... who knows how I would feel if I liked my job.
But- i say- just keep all options open & don't make a decision until you experience it!

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

i would love to be a SAHM, if only for a few months, but we can't afford it. we definitely need both of our salaries if we are ever going to get out of debt and buy a home.

personally i think that i would go crazy being at home all day... i don't think 12 weeks is enough, but that's all i get, so that's what i will have to live with.

Re: Are you going to be a SAHM?

I will be a SAHM. I'm looking forward to it too