Are you ever REALLY ready?

I have total BABY FEVER; however, we're not really in a place (financially) to have a child.

We feel emotionally ready... but DH thinks we couldn't financially handle it right now (and he's right!) -- But on the other hand, I feel like it's never going to be EASY....

How did you decide when the time was right to start TTC?

TIA

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

We decided pretty much based on MY age. I am now 37 and whether we want to think about it or not, there are risks with age. We were both 35 when we got married so there was really no reason to wait. Financially, we do just fine, but are far from financially sound. I put it this way, we may not have a lot of extras, but we will always have enough.

Message edited 9/10/2007 9:41:49 PM.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

We could definitely stand to be in a better situation financially but we felt ready as a couple to have a child. I think that there are always some obstacles but we decided that we will make it work.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

sometimes I wonder what would have been if we had gotten pregnant i couple of years ago what would of happened?
But we waited till we were financial ready.... and now I worry that our "baby" fund may be used to get pregnant/ adopt vs care for a baby

gratefully along the way I realized there is a plan of me... in the meantime I will continue to be hopeful

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

DH & I had agreed not to start trying until we were at a place in our lives where you felt we could care for another individual on his salary if needed. We were fortunate to purchase our first home in 2005 before we were married. When we did this, we didn't buy a starter home but something to grow into over the years. We saved as much as we could possibly do by sacraficing nights out with friends & vacations because to us, having a family was more important. Also we wanted a year under our belt of marriage so we could share it alone!

Now we are on our 4th month TTC & we know that if I was to get pg tomorrow, my husband could support us solely & I could raise our child. To us that was key! Emotionally we have been ready....

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

My mom's advice " If everyone waited until they were financially ready... there would be no babies"
IMHO you can never "really" be ready.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

I'd like to say that i've been ready for years! But like you, i'm really really worried about how it's going to be financially. Do i think we're ready to have a baby? YES. Are we financially ready? Not quite... but i also don't want to wait either because it could be years.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

My mother's words:


"If you wait to have money to have a child, you will never have a child"


She's right! You will find a way to make it work.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

I agree wiuth most of the other posters. I lived with my DH for 4 yrs before marriage so we didn't have any of that"wanting to spend time alone" thing. We started 2 months after we got married in August 2005. I have had multiple losses and one ectopic resulting in teh loss of a fallopian tube. It has been a hard road. All I can say is, Do Not Wait!

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

Message edited 9/11/2007 10:00:07 AM.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

I don't think you ever wake up one day and say "Ok, we are ready in every aspect of our lives, let's make a baby".

DH and I have been together well over 5 years. Married almost 2, lived together for about 4, we don't need "alone time" anymore.

We bought our house 3 years ago and have been able to settle into a budget.

We feel we have been able to save enough where we could afford me to stay home for a minimum of 6 months with a baby. (I am anticipating on my current position allowing me to work from home but it case they don't we want a full 3 months of me at home and then 3 months without having to worry about finding another job).

While that all sounds good on paper no plan is fool proof and that is something to accept.

Am I 1,000,000% ready for all nighters with a sick baby, or possibly finding a new job with a 6 month old at home, or paying for childcare?

Absolutely not, but I am 1,000,000% sure we are ready to try.

to all

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

I was emotionally ready before my husband. He actually originally wanted to wait another year or so to TTC. We had a lot of talks and we decided to start earlier. Are we in the greatest position financially? No, but we have enough to rent a 2 bedroom apt and still have a decent amount left over for any expenses that might come up.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

Personally, I think that it depends on your age. If you are 25 and can't afford to support a child, I think you should wait until you are in a better position financially. If you are in your 30's though, time is of the essence. You might want to figure out where you could sacrafice to make it work and just go for it. I dont think that you have to have a college fund before the baby is conceived but you at least need to know you will be able to provide the basics - like put a roof over the baby's head, provide food, clothing and child care if necessary.

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

Re: Are you ever REALLY ready?

I just said we are starting this month becuase i played out so many things in my head.

And then god blessed me with two....so even if I was ready for one, god gave me two.....

You make it work.