Another Baby(ies)

So my husband asked me if I wanted to have another baby! This from a guy who was done with a capital D since we had our boys. If you don't know my history its long and complicated, with 5 early pregnancy losses. I GET pregnant very easily, but cannot stay pregnant. My only successful pregnancy was through IVF and it was relatively uneventful until the very end when I got preeclampsia which resolved at delivery. I do have some immune issues as well.

So, I am 38-will be 39 in June. I am dieting right now and hopeful that I will lose at least 50 pounds by then, which is about 30 lbs less than when I got PG the first time. The prospect of this excites me and makes me nervous at the same time. Positives would be, my boys would be in school...so I could hire a nanny to take care of baby while I work and get the boys off the bus, etc. Obviously adding to our family would be wonderful.

Negatives: Impact on our careers-though I think I have that handled..my major concern is my age and health of the baby. I am so nervous about a baby with health issues or having a scary pregnancy. Obviously I have to go through IVF and I could have another set of twins!!

Not even sure why I'm posting but want to hear what the masses think. Am I too old? Am I crazy?

Another Baby(ies)

I don't think this is something anyone but you or DH can answer!!!!

Another Baby(ies)

You are not crazy at all. How exciting! I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Re: Another Baby(ies)

I was done (and so was DH) after our first two, which we had 2 years apart. For a number of reasons, it made sense at the time, and while I wanted more, I accepted we were done. Fast forward 5 years, my kids were 5 and 7 and we had a few things happen along the way that made us re-think and go for it, even though the odds were NOT in our favor... Well, in the second month, at age 39, I got PG with #3. It was a wild ride (troublesome NT scan, pregnancy induced hypertension, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, early delivery at 37 weeks, etc.), BUT given our chances from the start and the fact that I had a happy, healthy and beautiful baby boy made me so happy and not regret one moment of it! He is so perfect, I can't imagine how life was before him (and he's only 7 months old). My older kids turned 6 and 8 right after he was born and they love him to bits!

I wish you much luck in whatever you decide!

Re: Another Baby(ies)

I say there is no reason NOT to go for it if you a) want it and b) have the strength to go through all that stuff again, if need be.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

i just had my first at 35. If you previuosly had basically healthy pregnancies, why not. I dont think being 38 or 39 has anything to do with it. You may be considered high risk, but they monitor you more closely. I am looking to have another andwould be about 38 for teh next one. I wish you thebest whatever choices you make.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Yes, you should. I say that because the times I've seen you you do not seem done. Yes you have your hands full but they will be going to school soon so it will get easier.

I say when you are done you know but if you are still asking then you are not done.

After Owen, we weren't sure, we were up in the air, back and forth. After Sassy, we were totally over the moon for her but knew we were 100% done, no doubts.

I know it's more complicated for you given IVF. Maybe set a time frame. I.e. you will try for 6 months or 1 year and if it doesn't happen than that is that and you know you did all you could so you family is as it is meant to be.

We did this-not with IVF but a TTC deadline. Gave it 6 months and then we would have closed up shop. Sassy snuck in at the last possible moment. We were meant to have her.

Another Baby(ies)

My feelings are if you and DH are on board, then go for it. I personally would get moving though due to age reasons.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Re: Another Baby(ies)

If it's in both of your hearts to have another baby(ies) I say go for it!

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Posted by Goobster

I say there is no reason NOT to go for it if you a) want it and b) have the strength to go through all that stuff again, if need be.

Another Baby(ies)

I agree with Cranky. Although I am only 27, I feel like I *may* be done with my two. But, I am also on the road to my goal weight and I have been thinking about TTC when I get there. Weird, but why not..i'll be 30+ lbs lighter this time around to start. Anyway- DD1 was via IVF and DD2 was natural. I don't think I have it in me to go through IF treatments and disposing of embies again (that was very difficult decision for me) so I figure if we do decide to go for it again, I will TTC for awhile and if it doesn't work- so be it.

Another Baby(ies)

I say go for it. You may regret not trying later on down the road. Good Luck!!!

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Another Baby(ies)

I had 7 left. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the storage fees anymore (i'm still paying them off) so I had no choice but to make a decision. It took me months to decide, plus lots of crying and stress. Not fun.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

I agree w/ Cranky.....I always thought you weren't really done. I know you have mentioned all of your struggles to have your twins. Can't hurt to try if you and your DH both want more kids! Best of luck!

Another Baby(ies)

Its a personal decision but here's my story.

I am 39. Will be 40 in just 7 short months so even if I get PG now my 2nd will be in my 40s. I had issues with #1. no losses but it took me 2 years. I then had complications and deleivered at 37 weeks. DS is wonderful (after a rough first 10 weeks). Would I be happy with just one....of course but I would LOVE to have another.

I think if you are even asking yourself the question then part of you wants another. I wouldn't let age hold you back as you are not "too old".

Re: Another Baby(ies)

I wouldn't wait to start until you reach your goal weight. the odds of it being bam boom are slim, so if this is what you want, get rocking but STILL keep your healthy life style.

take care of yourself, eat right, stay active and get the genetic testing of your choice to ease your concerns or, if need be, prepare you for any issues.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Of course, you're not going to use our opinions as a way to decide for yourself .....but I wouldn't have another -

I am done at 2 - Completely done, no matter what happens. Done.

For ME there are just too many variables to consider, too many things that could go wrong - I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have 2 happy healthy children - I am grateful, my family is great ......I feel like another pregnancy would just be pressing my luck .....

I also, honestly, don't think I have it in me to handle another person - For as much as I LOVE my boys, a lot of the time I feel very overwhelmed, like I can't get my sh*t together, like I'm doing a terrible job ......adding another to the crew would probably break me.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Why Hello Melissa

Timewise, we are in about the same boat. granted I did not have twins my first time around..but got them this time

I understand the fears you may have...I had them too, and actually when I found out I was having twins, I really struggled that I messed up a good thing. Now that I am in the full swing of pregnancy, I could not be happier to know I am adding to our family, that my son will have siblings..that I will have another baby(ies) to love.

I did struggle with the idea of undergoing infertility treatments again, but I kept asking myself, will I regret NOT trying for another baby in a few years? The answer was always probably! I come from a HUGE family, so I know that it can work out somehow no matter how many children you have.

The health issues are a concern. I was SCARED TO DEATH of being pregnant again, and possibly losing my baby, or even my own life, leaving my son motherless.

Yes, I am high risk

Yes there is a lot of monitoring going on

Yes they will schedule a c-section early

Yes, I was afraid of age related issues with babies

Yes, I am STILL scared...but happy, and have to believe with proper care, this will all work out just fine.

My longwindedness is all to say to you, if you and your DH would like to add to your family, and if you are ready for the journey ahead..GO FOR IT 100% BUT GET CRACKIN'

I wish you the best

Another Baby(ies)

I got pregnant at age 41 and had my daughter when I was 42 through injections. I had a great pregnancy the entire time. As long as you are being monitored you should be just fine. Don't wait - if you guys want more kids, then I say go for it! Eat healthy and start taking pre-natals if you are thinking you might be trying soon.

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Similar story. I tried for YEARS to have a baby, finally after many treatements I got pregnant w twins on my third IVF. We were not "careful" and BAM when my boys were 9 months old, i got pregnant au naturale I KNEW i wasn't done. I think everyone has that little voice in them. And I also KNOW, (and its a great feeling) that I am DONE I can move on, raise my family and not always "wonder" what if. I think that feeling sucks. DH would not have felt that, he was totally content with our boys, me, i would have always had that voice telling me, DO IT!. So what is your voice telling you?

Re: Another Baby(ies)

Posted by maybemommy10

Similar story. I tried for YEARS to have a baby, finally after many treatements I got pregnant w twins on my third IVF. We were not "careful" and BAM when my boys were 9 months old, i got pregnant au naturale I KNEW i wasn't done. I think everyone has that little voice in them. And I also KNOW, (and its a great feeling) that I am DONE I can move on, raise my family and not always "wonder" what if. I think that feeling sucks. DH would not have felt that, he was totally content with our boys, me, i would have always had that voice telling me, DO IT!. So what is your voice telling you?