Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Posted by krissy888

Posted by Summerrluvv

Coming from someone who DOES teach their child listening skills, but he doesn't grasp it, I find your entire post insulting. Thank goodness you aren't my son's ST.

I agree! Kids will be kids

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Posted by InShock

Posted by Diana1215

I don't know ml110 in real life - but from all of her posts on here she has been extremely helpful giving tips regarding speech development.

It sounds like she was trying to be helpful and it came off the wrong way in her delivery.

ITA.

I do not think she meant any harm at all. She mentioned that these children did not have any other issues so it's not as if she's talking about children with developmental delays.

I think her underlying message was a good one, despite it perhaps coming across the wrong way.

THANK YOU, TOO!!!

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I think you are in the wrong field and obviously not an experienced parent. If you are ever blessed with a child, I'd like for you to revisit this post and tell me if your opinion has changed. Like a PP mentioned, it's blatantly obvious that you don't have children because of your condescending tone (you can teach your kids to take turns -- REALLY!?! You don't need to go to grad school to figure that out) and the fact that you are so quick to blame the parents for misbehavior which is obviously partially a classroom management problem.

Message edited 10/18/2008 7:02:10 PM.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Definitely very poor delivery!

Message edited 10/18/2008 7:27:55 PM.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Very odd. I am a teacher who works with over 75 different preschool students a year. ( I mean I have my own special ed students who I am there for, but I "borrow " the other children in the class to play games and do activites with my special ed students. STRANGE, that in Preschool, most can do what you are describing by pre-k, except the ones who need sp ed. Maybe you need to change your methods or get other evals.

Message edited 10/18/2008 8:13:18 PM.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Since we work in the same field, I ll just say this; I work with hearing imparied kids...so LEARNING to listen is HUGE...and you can't force parents to parent. But I totally understand where your coming from, I know its not from a bad place.
Just remember, for some kids, listening can be hard, you just have to work a little harder at keeping their attention long enough that they understand what you want or need.

Message edited 10/18/2008 8:04:38 PM.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Is this meant for a 17 month old? Have him sit and read with you and wait his turn...I will come over and

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I definitely believe age is a factor...

As a teacher myself, the only thing I've really been able to point out from day 1 of a kindergarten class (although I only work with grades 3-6 now) is which children went to preschool and which didn't.

I was never ever able to point out which students were taught "listening" skills and which weren't.

I am a librarian and one of my curriculum objectives is to teach listening skills. Teachers can reinforce this skill much easier than parents simply because children know their parents love is unconditional and they can get away with more...that is the true nature of the beast.

I pride myself on trying to be a good parent - my daughter is 4 and JUST DOESN'T LISTEN. It's not until I raise my voice that she even begins to comprehend that there is a consequence to her actions - and I'm sure all parents will agree that we don't want to raise our voices.

I do not think you meant to insult anyone here - I am quite sure your post was to help not to hurt. But please know the majority of parents on this board are doing exactly what you recommended - and still, children just have a tendency not to listen.

Message edited 10/18/2008 10:02:19 PM.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Well, a lot of people teach their child how to behave but isn't it part of your job to teach kids how to behave in a classroom and make rules.

I make rules at home. As much as I want DS to behave anywhere, kids are kids and need to be guided on how to behave.

I won't be with him 24/7 when he goes to school. I will be relying on his teachers to TEACH him how to behave also.

Parents cannot teach every situation in life, especially those they will never be able to interact in or be with their DC.

My parents' relied somehow on my teachers to teach me curricula and how to be behave in a classroom setting.

I would suggest you go observe other teachers' classes and how they make and enforce their class rules.

Re: Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I also want to add, as a special ed teacher of 8 years, that a lot of kids with speech problems have other underlying problems that are not always put on their IEPs. Special Ed kids don't always only follow their classification -- since each kid is different and the way that their classification plays out in their lives is different, other behaviors such as inattentiveness are very common, and so you have to have a lot of management tricks up your sleeve!!

Message edited 10/18/2008 11:29:43 PM.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

bump

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Posted by ml110


just wanted to offer an apology for this post. i really enjoy my job as a speech therapist and helping kids learn to communicate better. i enjoy it so much that i sometimes get too into it there have been many times on here when a mom has posted about being concerned that her child isn't talking yet, or is having trouble saying certain words. I've always tried to post back and use my knowledge to help them. whether its reassuring them that their child sounds like they're on target, or giving them ideas of things to do with their kid at home to get them to use more speech/language, or even just telling them the next steps to get help for their child.
This was meant to be the same type of thing. i know i'm not a parent yet, but i know that every parent wants to do everything to help their child succeed. the whole listening thing is a problem that not just me, but other teachers in my school have commented on recently. again, these are students who do not have any other disabilities. beleive me, i have some kids with autism and other learning disorders on my caseload, and i am VERY understanding of their attention difficutlies. these were not the kids i was talking about in this post.
i just thought i would be able to help out some future student's parents, so that the kids can have the most success when they get to school. I'm sorry if it was phrased/taken the wrong way... i guess thats the price of posting on the internet :-/



PLEASE teach your kids basic listening skills!! LOL
i'm a speech therapist at a school, and its amazing how some of these kids lack the simple ability to sit and listen while someone is talking! these are kids with just articulation problems, not other disorders. They don't even wait for me to explain what we're going to be doing that day... they just start grabbing stuff off the table and asking " what is this for?" " what is that for?" if you just stopped and listened for 2 seconds, you would find out!
They also have no patience for turn taking activities! while one kid is taking their turn in an activity, the other kid gets up and starts wandering around the room, playing with stuff on the table, talking to me... it just makes it very tough to work with these kids and teach them anything.
beleive it or not, you can start working on these things from a really young age. even things like blowing bubbles and doing " my turn to blow, your turn to blow" really helps establish the whole thing of turn taking and waiting for their turn. sitting and reading books ( even if you don't actually read the book, just talk about the pictures) really helps work on listening skills and teaching them that sometimes they have to sit still and listen to someone talk. also, just being more firm with them if they ignore a direction you give them really helps teach them that following directions matters.
other teachers have complained about this same thing with kids in their classes, so i know its not just me so i just figured i would give parents with younger kids a heads up for when their kids start school

Message edited 10/19/2008 12:57:26 AM.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I guess I'm not like many of you moms on here. I didn't find this post to be insulting or derogatory. Maybe I'm just not very confident in my ability to parent. I honestly feel a lot of times like I am just flying by the seat of my pants, hoping that I'm doing the right things for my DD.

There were some examples in there of things that I don't think I'd recognize as a problem with my DD if she did them. For instance, if I were doing an activity with more than 1 child and I was helping 1 and another got up and started walking around. I don't think it would occur to me that that should be corrected. I think if I set up an activity for my DD (and maybe someday other DC) to do and one, or all of them, started touching everything on the table, I guess I'd just figure it was normal, and not see it as something I should be teaching them not to do. I know when I'm reading to her, she interrupts me constantly. Now I know that is a good time to be working on her listening/taking turns talking skills.

Of course I know about teaching her to take turns with activities and to not interrupt when others are talking, etc. but some of the other things that ml110 mentioned, I just don't know if it would occur to me to work on that stuff at home. Especially since I am a SAHM during the week, DD is not exposed to classroom rules, etc and I don't want her to be labeled as "one of those kids who didn't go to preschool". I want her to have the same skills as those who do go, so at least now I know some things to work on with her.

Message edited 10/19/2008 3:15:51 AM.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I don't think you said anything condescending - you were trying to be helpful..... But I think that other things need to be looked at and explored. there isn't always a "one size fits all" group contingency plan that can be applied for everyone's success, know what I mean?

What you described goes beyond just listening skills. You are talking about impulsivity issues, as well as behavior issues.

A big part of my job is teaching professionals how to understand how behavior and environment work together, and how this knowledge is instrumental in effective instruction. I work a lot with speech therapists who have difficulty structuring their lessons to meet the needs of all types of kids.

First and foremost - the biggest rule in teaching: KNOW THY CHILD

You have a grabby kid? WAIT to put the materials down, or hand them to him and use the materials to demonstrate to the group what to do with them. Or use visual strategies - a wait card. a My turn card. A your turn card.

Trust me, I deal with frustrated educators all the time, and the issues are always the same. No one learned how to conduct functional behavior assessments, and I am still surprised that speech therapists only understand the components of speech, and not all aspects of communication. I can count on one hand how many SLP's and special ed teachers know what functional communication training is. It makes me angry at the college and master-level programs out there....

A child with any type of language difficulty (varies from child to child) will find it confusing and difficult to engage in conversations and will want to move on, or wander around the room.

2nd biggest rule in teaching:

If a child isn't learning. It's not their fault, that is why they are there. It's the teacher's. I live by this rule.

Message edited 10/19/2008 7:30:50 AM.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Posted by Porrruss

Since I do the same job you do- I can understand the frustration and what you meant.

What age groups are you working with? I have to be honest, time management along with some behavioral reinforcers go a LONG way. I've held artic group sessions with up to 7 kids (gotta love having to do make-up sessions) and have never had a problem.

It truly sounds like you might have some kids that need more positive reinforcement (my kids get a sticker on their chart for good listening and showing respect for their peers). They also get lots of praise for waiting their turn quietly throughout the session.

At the same time, there are always a few that need a bit more help. Those kids get a "fidget"- something that will keep their hands busy while they are waiting their turn. Another thing that's worked is letting them color their practice sheets (I use worksheets) while waiting their turn.

I know you meant no ill will, but putting the blame on parents isn't the way to go.....

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

OK - one more thing (sorry - this is a passionate subject for me )

A lot of the time, behavior changes from environment to environment. These kids MAY listen at home, but have difficulty in a large group or unstructured settings. Again, before placing blame on anyone, a functional behavior assessment needs to be done to determine the function of the behaviors that the child is engaging in.....

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

I have a question, for Liza or the ST's

Sometimes when working with kids and seeing other behaviors I think its important to see where they are stemming from. When working with a child that is constantly moving or always touching things do you think it could be a sensory issue? and would you look into an OT eval?

Message edited 10/19/2008 7:48:01 AM.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Thanks - I wouldn't have even thought to work on taking turns with my son. He's still young (9 mos) so maybe i would have figured out to teach him this when he's older but now it will be on my mind to make sure that this is something he learns at an early age.

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )

Re: AN APOLOGY Dear PArents ( from a teacher :-) )