Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Ok lately I've been feeling like a crappy wife, my DH cooks everyday, does all the gardening and backyard work, garbage.
I clean(with his help), do the laundry and pay our bills.
I just feel that I'm a crappy wife bc I'm not into cooking or into gardening. I should just get over it and be happy that DH puts in his share, right?

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Then that would make me a crappy wife too. lol

I tend to think I'm more lucky than crappy. DH is a great cook and enjoys doing it. Outside is his domain, always has been, always will be... inside is my domain. (except cooking) We're lucky!

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I don't think you should feel like a bad wife. You have a system that works for you! That is the key

For us, I love working in our garden & do the majority of the outside work. But DH does help me out & even inside, he does some cleaning. What works for some, may not work for others.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I would feel blessed. There is nothing worse for me than to come home and have to cook especially when I am dead tired. But if I dont cook- I will end up starving. DH does not cook at all!
I get help with cleaning on the weekends, and am so happy about that. I can't do it all.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I would count your blessings...my dh would get take out b/f even assembling himself a sandwich...out of your list he pretty much only takes out the garbage and I have to remind him what day it goes out and if recycling goes out or not.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I agree that you are lucky to have his help. Many men don't contribute at all!

I do all of the cooking (when I actually do it) and some cleaning. DH does alot of the cleaning- especially vacuuming and almost always the laundry and garbage. I do more of the heavy cleaning/scrubbing stuff because DH doesn't seem to notice when things really need to be scrubbed, and I always do the bathroom.

In other words- we share our responsibilities and it works for us. Neither one of us feels we do more than the other. And we ALWAYS show appreciation. DH thanked me for making dinner last night and told me I was wonderful for doing the dishes instead of asking him to do them because I knew hockey was on.

It's a give-give thing.

Wow. That was long!

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Be happy and hope that it continues after the baby comes. I have lots of friends that get no help.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I'm the same way - I'm already having a complex about when I'm on mat leave and DH will be working and how that will seem like I'm not contributing to the household financially. But the reality is, you're making his child, so you deserve the break! and like someone else said, whatever works for you guys! If he's happy doing it, then be very grateful - and there are ways you can let him know just how grateful you are, you know!

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Feel blessed, you've created a household where you can confidently rely on your DH to take on some tasks while you handle the others. Be proud, this makes you a great wife.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

it makes me crappy too. with work and my long commute i barely cook dinner anymore during the week. we usually throw some crappy quick meal together.

i still clean and do some laundry.

but overall i feel like im a lousy wife. its been forever since we've BD b/c im so sick every nite. I feel bad for him...

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Count your blessings

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

girl, please! enjoy it while you can. i have had a hard pregnancy and i lay in bed and make "requests"-- at first i felt bad but now i realize that we are giving our husbands the greatest gifts in the world. don't stress.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I'm in a similar boat, while I still do a majority of the cooking, DH can only make breakfast, DH has helped me out more with the cleaning and we used to split laundry duties and now he does all the laundry.

He's always been good about sharing the chores, but since I've been pregnant, I've definitely noticed he's doing more.

I guess we should enjoy, but I do feel a tad bit guilty, I make it up to him in other ways

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I feel like a crappy wife too. I enjoy doing the cooking and keeping the house together, cleaned and organized but between work, the long commute and being pregnant, I have been slacking big time.
It makes me so upset that I barely contribute anymore and poor DH works long hours and then comes home and does yard work, home improvement projects, housework and cooks dinner. It is one of the hardest part of being pregnant for me.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I don't cook and I am NOT a crappy wife!

I didn't really cook before I got pregnant, so now is no different.

Maybe I'm not old fashioned, because I dont feel that bad about not cooking. My DH does a great job in the kitchen, and it's just not my area of expertise. I still get on my hands and knees and scrub the bathroom floor once a week though!


We recently moved, and I felt bad because my DH did SO MUCH on his own. I did some packing, but he did all the heavy lifting and moving. I really wish I could have helped him a bit more, but we both know that wasn't a wise idea.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

Every household has different divisions of labor. It's not like you aren't pulling your weight. Doing laundry and cleaning are still domestic duties.

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

You are lucky, count your blessings! =)

You are doing something that your DH can't so he is taking on the things that he can do. Its touching and heartwarming!

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I kind of feel that way, DH is doing all the cleaning and really takes care of the majority of the house work, buttttt he is laid off so he should be doing something while he is home and I am at work and pregnant! I don't feel as bad!

Re: Am I old fashioned or should I just count my blessings?

I feel the same way, Gabbie. DH typically does the yardwork but I do the gardening and now DH has been doing both. I usually cook and now DH has been doing 99% of the cooking (unless you call a PB&J cooking!). We used to pretty much split the cleaning and DH seems to have taken that on as well!!

I think that we should just count our blessings and be happy that we picked such great men for husbands! Our children are very lucky