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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Alright...I'm a little hurt.
So, I am VERY close with my cousins and especially close with my cousin Debra (we lived together for a year, we are very close friends in addition to being "best cousins"). We are very happy because in December she started dating a really great guy
Here is why I am a little hurt. DS' first birthday is April 26th and it is a Saturday. She texted me today to ask if I was having his birthday ON his birthday and I said yes (I also don't have much choice as my little cousin's communion is the next week) and she texted me back that she was invited to a day wedding of one of Rob's (the new guy's) friends and she really thinks she should go and skip Christopher's party.
The wedding is at 1pm and Christopher's party is at 2. I haven't written her back because I really don't feel like being overly emotional but it does mean something to me if she skips it to go to a wedding with a guy she has only been dating for 2 months.
What should I text back? Or just leave it alone til closer to the party?
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Posted 2/24/08 5:51 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I would let her know now that you would be heartbroken that she wasnt at your son's party.
Im sure she might get defensive at first, but she will prob be touched that it means that much to you. 
maybe you can push the party to later so she can come a little late (as opposed to missing the whole thing).
like start the party at 3pm- and would she come right after the wedding?
(if youre having it at home, this would work out, im sure its a different ballgame if youre having it at a restaurant).
Definitely tell her now. in a nice, nonthreatening way. maybe write her an email so that your emotions dont get the best of you and you say it wrong.
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| Posted 2/24/08 5:55 PM |
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Mrs
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1652 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
i would be honest with her - especially since you guys are so close. She should know how you feel. Let her know that you are hurt if she doesn't attend.
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| Posted 2/24/08 5:55 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
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Karen
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I don't know - I kinda disagree.
I think it's a bit much to expect a single woman to skip a wedding to attend a child's first birthday party. I also don't think it's fair to make her pick between you and the guy, IMO. You said he was a great guy - she needs to live her life, your son will have plenty of other birthday parties.
Plus - a LOT of things could happen between her and guy by April 26th.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:02 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I can see why you are hurt, but I can also remember how it was when I was first dating someone I was really into and how I wanted to do everything with them.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:05 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I think it would bother me less if it were one of HER friends, but since it is one of his it kinda bothers me that she'd pick someone's wedding who she doesn't know over a family party, KWIM?
Message edited 2/24/2008 6:07:53 PM.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:07 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by KateDevine
I think it would bother me less if it were one of HER friends, but since it is one of his it kinda bothers me that she'd pick someone's wedding who she doesn't know over a family party, KWIM?
Right, I think that's where the distinction lies. However, I'm not so sure there's much you can do about it. I would just let her know that you'll be very disappointed if she can't make it, but that it's ultimately her decision.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:10 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I don't know - I think I would let it go. She is young and single - and really, there isn't going to be much for her to do at a first birthday party.
I totally get that you are really close with her - so you want her there - but, she also needs to live her life too.
It's not like Christopher is going to be upset because Aunt Debra isn't there.
I def. know why you would be upset and why you would want her there - but, I think it's best if you don't make her "choose" between you and the BF.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:12 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I can understand how you can be hurt...but I can totally understand how she feels.
I would let it go, she doesn't mean anything by it.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:14 PM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I agree that im sure she doesnt mean anything by it...she probly is just excited since she really likes this guy, we ahve all been there!!!
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:17 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by Karen
I don't know - I kinda disagree.
I think it's a bit much to expect a single woman to skip a wedding to attend a child's first birthday party. I also don't think it's fair to make her pick between you and the guy, IMO. You said he was a great guy - she needs to live her life, your son will have plenty of other birthday parties.
Plus - a LOT of things could happen between her and guy by April 26th.
I agree. I know you are dissappointed but I know when I was single if my bf had invited me to his friend's wedding I would definitely want to be there with him.
I would let it go
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:22 PM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
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True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by Karen
I don't know - I kinda disagree.
I think it's a bit much to expect a single woman to skip a wedding to attend a child's first birthday party. I also don't think it's fair to make her pick between you and the guy, IMO. You said he was a great guy - she needs to live her life, your son will have plenty of other birthday parties.
Plus - a LOT of things could happen between her and guy by April 26th.
I completely agree.
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| Posted 2/24/08 6:38 PM |
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Sometimes it is hard to remember what it is like to be single. 1st birthday parties are torture when you don't have kids, and even worse when you are single. I wouldn't get upset over it now a lot can change before April.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:05 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by KateDevine
I think it would bother me less if it were one of HER friends, but since it is one of his it kinda bothers me that she'd pick someone's wedding who she doesn't know over a family party, KWIM?
I totally understand. i would just talk it out with her.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:06 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by architectnycity
Sometimes it is hard to remember what it is like to be single. 1st birthday parties are torture when you don't have kids, and even worse when you are single. I wouldn't get upset over it now a lot can change before April.
Oh I remember and I remember having to go to every single family party for my two little cousins (my family has a rule of family parties only til 10) no matter what other stuff was going on that day.
I wouldn't ever do anything drastic about it, it just bothered me. My family is very close, and she will probably get crap about it from other about it.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:08 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I would just let her know that you are dissapointed that she won't be able to come and that you were looking forward to having the entire family there for the big celebration. It probably won't change her mind, but at least she will know how you feel. I'm personally not a fan of ditching the fam (or friends) for a man.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:19 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
I would be hurt too.
Especially b/c Hes only one once and he is going to be your only child, so its only one first b-day for you guys and she will barely know the guy and not know the person getting married.
If it were me, I would ask her if it were possible for her to drive tot he wedding alone and leave early and make both b/c you really wanted her there?
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:28 PM |
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by architectnycity
Sometimes it is hard to remember what it is like to be single. 1st birthday parties are torture when you don't have kids, and even worse when you are single. I wouldn't get upset over it now a lot can change before April.
I agree- I had to go to several parties for friends' kids, and it just drove home the fact that I was 30 and single and my same-age friends had kids and I didn't even have a boyfriend. It was very hard emotionally. This may be an issue for her, whether or not you've ever discussed it.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:51 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by Karen
I don't know - I kinda disagree.
I think it's a bit much to expect a single woman to skip a wedding to attend a child's first birthday party. I also don't think it's fair to make her pick between you and the guy, IMO. You said he was a great guy - she needs to live her life, your son will have plenty of other birthday parties.
Plus - a LOT of things could happen between her and guy by April 26th.
I agree. I would let it go (meaning let it go & not hold on to that hurt). Weddings are generally 4-5 hours. I would ask her if she'd like to stop by afterwards with the guy.(distance permitting)
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:52 PM |
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by Diana1215
I don't know - I think I would let it go. She is young and single - and really, there isn't going to be much for her to do at a first birthday party.
I totally get that you are really close with her - so you want her there - but, she also needs to live her life too.
It's not like Christopher is going to be upset because Aunt Debra isn't there.
I def. know why you would be upset and why you would want her there - but, I think it's best if you don't make her "choose" between you and the BF.
agree.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:52 PM |
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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Alright...I'm a little hurt.
Posted by Karen
I don't know - I kinda disagree.
I think it's a bit much to expect a single woman to skip a wedding to attend a child's first birthday party. I also don't think it's fair to make her pick between you and the guy, IMO. You said he was a great guy - she needs to live her life, your son will have plenty of other birthday parties.
Plus - a LOT of things could happen between her and guy by April 26th.
I agree. The wedding may be a great opportunity for her to meet a lot of his friends. I wouldn't expect anyone to skip a wedding for a 1st birthday party.
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| Posted 2/24/08 7:54 PM |
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