Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Some of you know my history with IVF and that now I'm PG with twins (8 weeks). I'm probably being a huge scaredy-cat, but I'm afraid of having sex right now.....I read quite a few posts of girls who bleed afterwards and I am terrified enough as it is, KWIM? I plan on asking the OB when I go on the 28th if it's safe (I guess I would be considered a high-risk pregnancy, due to my age, gastric-bypass surgery, IVF and that I'm carrying twins).....Anyone else a baby like me? I don't want my husband to suffer (and to be perfectly honest, I'm in the mood more now than I've ever been! )

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

me, me, me. Poor DH, I made him wait until we were offically in the clear at 12 wks. In fact, he deserves another round soon. heheh

I haven't been in the mood lately, really unhappy with my current body.

Message edited 8/20/2008 9:39:47 AM.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

PETRIFIED! I am 10 weeks and poor DH! I am totally not in the mood at all and am so scared b/c of all the bleeding stories you read here! Not sure when I will feel better about it, but you are definitely not alone!

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Dr's will tell you it's fine from the start but many of us waited a while. I think by 10-12 weeks you will feel better. But the risk of spotting afterwards is always there, remember that and 99% of the time it means nothing. So go enjoy your hubby.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

We did it ONCE in the first trimester because I was such a nervous wreck that I couldn't even enjoy myself!!! But once I got into the second trimester not only did I feel more relaxed but I was like a little horn devil too so we made up for lost time so to speak. But now at 35 weeks I feel like an uncomfortable whale so it's looking like he's out of luck for a while.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Youre not alone
I made him wait and then found out I had my placenta in the wrong place and easily bleed.. so we HAD to wait until nearly 28w then I just didnt 'want' to.. i felt fat and not in my own body.

So.. 37w and all i can is.. he's a good man!

hahaha

Poor hubby

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Michele - I'm right there with you! My RE said at 7 weeks it was safe, and to "have fun" However, I'm so scared that quite fankly it hasn't happened since just before my ER! I'm now just over 15 weeks DH is very good about it though.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

My poor DH. Last PG I was on pelvic rest from 6 weeks. He almost died. Hell, I almost died.

This time I am so afraid to even DTD. We have had to come up with som e creative alternatives

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I waited until 13 or 14 weeks

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Nothing much going on here either...both of us are too afraid to see blood. I have too much else on my mind to think about, I don't need any added concerns.

It's just not worth it to us.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

We just did it for the first time this past weekend!!

I'm just 14 weeks now, so we waited, to be honest, we were both scared to death so you are def. not alone in this, don't worry.

Even more honesty, although he was in heaven, i really wasn't....I didn't bleed or anything after, but I just wasn't enjoying it because I was too preoccupied about something going wrong. But he slept well that night.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

You are def not alone in being nervous. Doesn't help that DH is even more scared than me! We know that it would be fine but we are both a wreck. Its been a very long and quiet 27 weeks. I'm gonna need a refresher course.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I'm the same way. Its just not worth it to me....it is totally harmless and cannot hurt anything, but since so many people spot and bleeed.....the worry factor is just too much to deal with.
Its just not worth it if you're going to worry yourself sick afterward. I think waiting to the 12 week mark is wise. Perhaps you can do "other things," if you know what I mean, in the meanitime.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I'm 10 weeks and we have not done the deed since conceiving!! I told him he has to wait until after the baby is born!!!

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

every time I had cramping after most of the day and I definitely irritated my cervix, I just don't like how I feel after wards at all so I can live without it and DH is very understanding!

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I know my dh is dying over here. Im 14w5days and petrified to do the deed. im sure everything would be fine but the sight of blood will just freak me out. He is understanding but i guess he has needs to and it makes him frustrated.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I was sooo scared!! I waited until about 10 weeks. DH didn't understand but I didn't care.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I was nervous, espeically during the first trimester, but that didn't stop me.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

Awesome! Thanks ladies! I sent DH this link so he doesn't think it's only me!

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I was really scared at first. Then the heartburn/nausea kicked in. I think we did it once or twice during the first trimester. After I started to feel better, we were doing it more regularly.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I think I waited until the first dr's appt (7 weeks) and then it was on. We are like bunnies now and it is FAB!! (or even more fab then it was)

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I'm 15 wks and I think we've done it once... I couldn't even enjoy it, I was too worried about seeing blood.

Honestly, this is my second PG and both times, my sex drive was zero the whole time, so I hardly even missed it. I keep my DH very happy in other ways though, he is not a deprived man

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I must be in the minority - we BD right after we found out I was pg.

We haven't for about 2 weeks because I've felt so nauseous from morning sickness.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I am totally nervous about this. I asked my Dr. and she said it was ok, but like others here said they bled and I know I would be a worry wart.

Re: Afraid to do the deed!!!!

I have not been afraid up to this point, however I was having some bad cramps yesterday and I had to deny DH! lol
99% of the time I'm good to go!
XOXOXO
BOTB