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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

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Name:
Jenn

Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

My brother and SIL brought to our attention recently that next year is my parent's 35 wedding anniversary. We didn't really do anything for their 25th because my brother and I were young and had no money. For their 30th we were still on the young side and I had gotten divorced the year before and was living at home with them...so again, absolutely no money. SIL wants to start discussing plans to throw them a 35th anniversary party. DH doesn't understand this concept at all. He has never heard of children throwing milestone anniversary parties for their parents. I guess in his family it just isn't done.

In our family, none of our cousins have done it yet either for their parents, but my parents and their siblings did throw 30th anniversary parties for their parents many years ago.

It got me thinking, how common is this nowadays? It's going to be several thousand dollars and we literally just bought a house in October and we have a baby on the way. We have so many expenses coming up I just don't know if we could or even should spend money on this. How many of you have thrown your parents a big anniversary party?

ETA: to be clear, if we were to do this, we have to go all out. My mom is not the type to be happy with renting a VFW hall. She's expecting renting a nice restaurant with dancing and great food. So, its kind of either all or nothing. The other option, is to hold off and do a party for their 40th. In 6 more years I think we'd all be in a much better position to throw them a great party.

Message edited 3/18/2016 8:56:59 AM.

Posted 3/18/16 8:50 AM
 
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I'm looking to throw a 50th anniv party for my parents as well. My mom sounds like yours bc she also likes very nice things, nice restaurants, good wine, company, etc.
I'm in NJ and looking at some restaurants by the water. With food and bar it's looking to be about $3000. We will also do some decorations, but that really won't be too much more and can do a lot ourselves like pics. Not looking into a DJ. Just a nice restaurant that has beautiful views, great food and drinks.

Thinking it will be about 30 - 40 people. We narrowed the list down to closest friends. My mom is an only child and we are not very close with my dad's sister so decided to keep it friends.

Posted 3/18/16 8:57 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

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Allison

Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I have never thrown my parents a party. It's not done in my family.

Posted 3/18/16 9:02 AM
 

mommy2be716
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Member since 1/16

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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

we've never done this for our parents, but I know alot of people do. We have thrown surprise milestone birthday parties, but none for anniversaries.

Maybe finding a nearby restaurant with a back room that can hold the family would be nice. For my mom's 50th, we did a brunch and it was alot of fun. We had champagne punch, mimosas, etc. For my dad's 60th, we went to novita in GC and had an evening cocktail party package. It was mostly passed appetizers and a couple of chafing dishes. We didn't have a DJ or music at either party- There were alot of friends and family there, so I don't think we really needed it

Message edited 3/18/2016 9:02:55 AM.

Posted 3/18/16 9:02 AM
 

MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

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M

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

In my family the only anniversary that got celebrated was 50th.

Posted 3/18/16 9:04 AM
 

dianadrw
LIF Adult

Member since 5/06

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Me

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

My brother and I threw my parents a 25th anniversary party. He was 23 and I was 21. It was a fairly small affair at a restaurant. Fast forward 15 years later to their 40th we threw them a much larger surprise party. It was great because they had no idea. I mean NO IDEA. Their 50th is coming up in 3 years and I told them they're on their own. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/18/16 9:10 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I think acknowledging a 50th would be nice but I don't know that I would throw a 35th.

Posted 3/18/16 9:31 AM
 

jlm2008
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

5092 total posts

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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I would do the 40th . For my grandparents we did 40th & 50th. They both said absolutely no party when it was their 60th though.

Posted 3/18/16 9:40 AM
 

Katareen
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Member since 4/10

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Katherine

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Posted by JDubs

I think acknowledging a 50th would be nice but I don't know that I would throw a 35th.



I agree...I don't think 35 is a milestone.

Yes, it's a long time and should be acknowledged but I don't feel a party is necessary. Maybe you can do a nice dinner with immediate family?

Posted 3/18/16 9:45 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

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..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

To me 30th or 35th is not a milestone.

25th and 50th are.

I mean, what makes a milestone? Every 5 years?
That seems a bit much to me

Posted 3/18/16 9:55 AM
 

TNT1005
LIF Adult

Member since 3/10

1110 total posts

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

We just did a Surpise 40th for my parents. Me, DH, Brother and SIL. It was about 60 people @ a very nice restaurant. We split the bills in total. It ended up costing each couple about $1,800. Including everything (invites, stamps, cakes, favors). It was 3 hours passed hor devours, apps, dinner, desert, beer, wine, soda. no dancing just a nice sit down dinner at 3:00pm on a Sunday. Brother & I are both in our 30's with kids & house. Over the past few years some family members have gotten sick & some have passed. My parents help us out by watching our kids a day or two a week. We decided to go ahead with it because we were able to and we thought you never know where life takes you in a few years. It was a great decision for us & my parents were shocked, honored and the memory will last a life time. That being said, if we werent able to swing it we would have done something simple even if it was just ordering pizza & all being together. Those night make great memories as well. Whatever you decide to do they will apprecaite.

Posted 3/18/16 9:55 AM
 

MsSissy
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Nobody in my family lasted long enougb for a milestone anniversary Chat Icon Chat Icon



Posted 3/18/16 9:58 AM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Posted by MsSissy

Nobody in my family lasted long enougb for a milestone anniversary Chat Icon Chat Icon






Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/18/16 10:00 AM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

No one really did it in our family, however, we did throw my parents a 40th. It was the first milestone one we did, and it was partly due to my father having lung cancer. The party was in June and he passed that December, so that being said, it was nothing short of a miracle that we had ALL their family and friends at that party. He was relatively well too, we had no idea what was to come but in the back of my mind I knew there was a possibility it would be their last anniversary. So glad we did it.

Moral of the story: don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Posted 3/18/16 10:04 AM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

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Momma <3

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

We threw a party for my parent's 25th anniversary. My sister organized it as she loves to do things like that. I think they had a great time so I am happy we did it. It was a total surprise - like my mom didn't even want to go out that night

With that said, I am not sure that I consider a 35th anniversary a milestone one. I'd probably hold off and throw one at 40.

Message edited 3/18/2016 10:05:26 AM.

Posted 3/18/16 10:04 AM
 

Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/11

767 total posts

Name:
Jacqueline

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

We are actually throwing my parents a 40th surprise party in a few weeks. My family is big on celebrating things and several cousins have thrown their parents milestones bday parties, anniversary parties etc.

I think it really depends on the situation and what you feel comfortable with - my parents also would never expect anything extravagant and probably aren't expecting anything at all. But my parents are amazing people, they are beloved by so many friends and family, always put everyone else first and they just deserve to be celebrated.

We decided to do a small cocktail party at the post office in babylon. They have a separate room w/bar and we invited about 50 adults. No kids, figured we would keep it more intimate and obviously keep the cost down. It will also be from 7pm-10pm so a little late for small kids anyway.

Price was reasonable PP, plus grat and tax. I think after all is said and done, we will each pay $760 since there are 3 of us.

I am going to make a pull apart cupcake cake in the shape of 40. Im going to have their wedding pic blown up and a collage of their wedding pictures and pictures through the years. Ill get a banner and some balloons. Thats really it!

It should be a nice intimate affair just to celebrate them and what a great example they've set for everyone.

Posted 3/18/16 10:05 AM
 

Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/11

767 total posts

Name:
Jacqueline

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Posted by Mushesgirl

No one really did it in our family, however, we did throw my parents a 40th. It was the first milestone one we did, and it was partly due to my father having lung cancer. The party was in June and he passed that December, so that being said, it was nothing short of a miracle that we had ALL their family and friends at that party. He was relatively well too, we had no idea what was to come but in the back of my mind I knew there was a possibility it would be their last anniversary. So glad we did it.

Moral of the story: don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.



So sorry for your loss! What a wonderful memory to have before his passing

Posted 3/18/16 10:08 AM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I know where you're coming from. 35 years might not be a "traditional" milestone anniversary, but it's not like you got the chance to throw a 25th or 30th. My parents 30th was this past year and since we were in the process of buying a house and TTC, we didn't really have the money to do anything either. Add in the fact that my brother and sister are much younger than me (8 and 9 years younger) and couldn't contribute and it just didn't work out. I was throwing around the idea in my head of doing something for their 35th in a few years as well. I don't think it's so outrageous. I might wait til their 40th though.

They aren't very common in my family either, but I like the idea of it. The past few years there's been a lot of sickness (cancer) and deaths in my family so the idea of seeing everyone to celebrate something happy is very appealing to me. If you guys can swing it and want to celebrate, I say go for it.

Posted 3/18/16 10:11 AM
 

MrsB12614
LIF Adult

Member since 4/14

1986 total posts

Name:
Mrs

Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I plan to throw a party for my parents 35th next year. However it's in August so I'll be doing a backyard bbq at my house- if the expectation is some fancy restaurant, sorry I can't afford it. I take the mindset that people should appreciate if you do something nice for them, even if it's not to their standards. I would say if your mom would have the expectation of a fancy party and wouldn't be happy other wise, I wouldn't even bother. You do what you can afford and the thought of it should be more than appreciated and enough in my opinion

Posted 3/18/16 10:13 AM
 

MrsD121011
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

1460 total posts

Name:
Elicia

Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

We did a 30th for my MIL & FIL bec FIL wasnt in good health. Thank goodness we did bec he passed away in Oct. For my own parents this year will be thier 30th but we are gonna wait until their 40th. I would wait until then unless there is a shadow of doubt that one of them may not make it until 40. Sorrry to be a bit morbid but sometimes these things are a factor.

Posted 3/18/16 10:15 AM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4430 total posts

Name:
Karen

Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

I don't consider 35 a milestone anniversary. For our parents 35 I think we just took them out to dinner.

We did just have an all out party at a catering hall for my parent's 40th. I probably would have waiting for their 50th but neither are in good health and we felt we should do it now. It was great. They had a ball, the family had a ball and their friends were very impressed. My sister and I split the cost and it was not cheap but we felt that they deserved it after everything they have done for us throughout the years. We had a mini cocktail hour, sit down dinner, and a DJ. We had favors and decorated the room. We held it at a country club near their house. I actually took her wedding album and blew up the pictures to 18x24 and placed them around the room. My parent's friends LOVED that. It was very successful and I'm glad we did it.

Posted 3/18/16 10:16 AM
 

HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Posted by Momma2015

I know where you're coming from. 35 years might not be a "traditional" milestone anniversary, but it's not like you got the chance to throw a 25th or 30th. My parents 30th was this past year and since we were in the process of buying a house and TTC, we didn't really have the money to do anything either. Add in the fact that my brother and sister are much younger than me (8 and 9 years younger) and couldn't contribute and it just didn't work out. I was throwing around the idea in my head of doing something for their 35th in a few years as well. I don't think it's so outrageous. I might wait til their 40th though.

They aren't very common in my family either, but I like the idea of it. The past few years there's been a lot of sickness (cancer) and deaths in my family so the idea of seeing everyone to celebrate something happy is very appealing to me. If you guys can swing it and want to celebrate, I say go for it.



Yes, I think we might wait until 40 because it's more of a "true" milestone. But I completely agree with wanting to celebrate something. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer 6 years ago. I don't think anyone thought my parents would still be here married today. They were on the verge of divorce (my mom was literally in the lawyer's office signing the papers) when my dad suddenly got diagnosed. They tossed the divorce papers and my mom was his ROCK throughout the cancer. Somehow it brought them closer together and their marriage is better than it's ever been. Just the fact that my dad is still with us and that they've made it through some of the hardest things any couple could go through is just amazing and we want to celebrate it.

Posted 3/18/16 10:19 AM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3534 total posts

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

We threw my parents one for 40. It was a giant production, lol.

Posted 3/18/16 10:26 AM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

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3534 total posts

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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by Momma2015

I know where you're coming from. 35 years might not be a "traditional" milestone anniversary, but it's not like you got the chance to throw a 25th or 30th. My parents 30th was this past year and since we were in the process of buying a house and TTC, we didn't really have the money to do anything either. Add in the fact that my brother and sister are much younger than me (8 and 9 years younger) and couldn't contribute and it just didn't work out. I was throwing around the idea in my head of doing something for their 35th in a few years as well. I don't think it's so outrageous. I might wait til their 40th though.

They aren't very common in my family either, but I like the idea of it. The past few years there's been a lot of sickness (cancer) and deaths in my family so the idea of seeing everyone to celebrate something happy is very appealing to me. If you guys can swing it and want to celebrate, I say go for it.



Yes, I think we might wait until 40 because it's more of a "true" milestone. But I completely agree with wanting to celebrate something. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer 6 years ago. I don't think anyone thought my parents would still be here married today. They were on the verge of divorce (my mom was literally in the lawyer's office signing the papers) when my dad suddenly got diagnosed. They tossed the divorce papers and my mom was his ROCK throughout the cancer. Somehow it brought them closer together and their marriage is better than it's ever been. Just the fact that my dad is still with us and that they've made it through some of the hardest things any couple could go through is just amazing and we want to celebrate it.



Another idea to celebrate is a trip. My family has done cruises for milestone birthdays. For my dad's 60th we had about 6 cabins and my mom's we had even more.

People paid their own way, obviously, but it was a fun way to take a vacation with the nearest and dearest.

Posted 3/18/16 10:27 AM
 

HopelesslyDiscouraged
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We are waiting for you! xo

Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties



Maybe you can convince your Brother and SIL to wait and do the big party for their 40th; when you will be in a better financial position. They obviously know you just bought a new home; and have a new baby on the way; so its not like its hard to believe. I would just be honest and tell them.

Make reservations and take them out to a nice restaurant for dinner. Celebrating their 35th Anniversary a little more low key would be just as meaningful.

Posted 3/18/16 10:42 AM
 
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