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Cheeks24
Living a dream
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Cheeks
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23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
1. The more time and effort put into decorating a nursery, the more likely that the baby will sleep in your room.
2. Things that don't wake a sleeping newborn: loud noises and bright lights. Things that do wake a sleeping newborn: sitting down to eat dinner.
3. Maybe they'll say it's the eyes. Maybe they'll say it's the mouth. Whatever it is, people will insist on telling you that your newborn looks like you. It's almost never true.
4. You may not want to cut your baby's nails because you are afraid of making her bleed. However, if you don't cut your baby's nails, she will probably scratch herself and, then, she'll bleed. So, why postpone the inevitable?
5. There is no greater thrill than the first time a baby calls out "mama" or "dada," even when it is directed toward the cat.
6. Sleeping a lot and eating a lot are traits highly cherished in babies. Unfortunately, neither are particularly admired in adults.
7. As a new parent, strangers will often approach you to ask, "Is she a good baby?" Surprise them by saying, "No, she's kind of an #$$hole."
8. You will discover that there must have been something very, very tricky about composing a melody for "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," The ABC's," and "Baa Baa Black Sheep."
9. From the moment you arrive home from the hospital, you will be asked if your baby sleeps through the night. Tell them you don't know. Tell them you spend most nights out clubbing.
10. Make sure you learn all the noises that farm animals make. Even though most people no longer live on farms, the sounds that sheep, pigs and cows make are priority number one when teaching your little one to talk.
11. If she is wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop.
12. If you are wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop.
13. Despite advances in science, no one has figured out how to diagnose a dirty diaper besides sniffing at it or peeking in it. When you're in public, learn to do this discreetly.
14. Never in your wildest dreams (or worst nightmares) did you ever imagine how much you would be talking about poop. Unless you work for a laxative company. If you work for a laxative company, you are probably already talking about poop a lot.
15. Strangers are friendly when you're with with a baby. That said, strangers are even friendlier when you're with a puppy.
16. One of the surprise perks of having a baby? When you're with one, you can talk to yourself out loud and people don't look at you like you're crazy.
17. Everyone tells you to "sleep when the baby's sleeping." It's good advice. But, remember, it's "sleep when the baby's sleeping... unless the baby fell asleep in the car and you're driving."
18. Don't beat yourself up over every little thing. Babies have really low expectations.
19. If you think you might be posting too many pictures on Facebook, you probably are.
20. No matter how much you love your child, naptime is never long enough.
21. When people come to visit in the first weeks after you come home from the hospital, remember they are there to see you and the baby. Remember they don't expect you or your house to look perfect. And remember, if you are talking anywhere near the baby monitor, there's a good chance they can hear you.
22. The secret to being a good parent? There isn't one. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
23. When all else fails, if you can't stop your baby from crying, turn on some music and dance around the living room. Even if the crying doesn't stop, at least you'll enjoy yourself.
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Posted 6/19/12 3:44 PM  |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
soooooooo true
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| Posted 6/19/12 3:47 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
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WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
7. As a new parent, strangers will often approach you to ask, "Is she a good baby?" Surprise them by saying, "No, she's kind of an #$$hole."
THIS IS SOMETHING WE WOULD SAY
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| Posted 6/19/12 3:48 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
Posted by Cheeks24
7. As a new parent, strangers will often approach you to ask, "Is she a good baby?" Surprise them by saying, "No, she's kind of an #$$hole."
Posted by Cheeks24
23. When all else fails, if you can't stop your baby from crying, turn on some music and dance around the living room. Even if the crying doesn't stop, at least you'll enjoy yourself.
this totally made my day
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| Posted 6/19/12 3:49 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
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Ang
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
i love # 7
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| Posted 6/19/12 3:49 PM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 3:52 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
I would really love to say #7 one day and see the reaction I get.
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:01 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
looks like #7 is a favorite 
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:03 PM |
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
This is FANTASTIC!!!!!!
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:04 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
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Krista
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:04 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
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Stacey
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:06 PM |
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wo0shply
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Tass
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:11 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
Awesome, just awesome
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:13 PM |
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inc0gnit0
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 336 total posts
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Miss Incognito
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
love it...think this one makes my top 5:
20. No matter how much you love your child, naptime is never long enough.
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:24 PM |
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Poppy811
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 236 total posts
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L
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:34 PM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
My friend posted this on FB yesterday and #7 had me cracking up!!!! I fully intend on using that with strangers 
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:35 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
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Pomegranate5
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
That was great and so true!
I love #7 too - and it's so true, the number one question EVERYONE asks me is "Is she a good baby?"
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| Posted 6/19/12 4:38 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
Posted by Cheeks24
7. As a new parent, strangers will often approach you to ask, "Is she a good baby?" Surprise them by saying, "No, she's kind of an #$$hole."
this was great!! thanks for sharing!
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| Posted 6/19/12 5:09 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
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Mama mama mama....
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
Hilarious but true!
Posted by inc0gnit0
love it...think this one makes my top 5:
20. No matter how much you love your child, naptime is never long enough.
^ One of my favorites
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| Posted 6/19/12 7:22 PM |
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
Hysterical!!!!
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| Posted 6/19/12 7:44 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
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Momma <3
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:02 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
This mommy of a 5 day old is cracking up while reading this!
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:17 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
this was amazing.
1,2 and 4 were really great too, but the naptime one
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:24 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
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g
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
i love love love these!
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| Posted 6/19/12 9:33 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: 23 Things Newborn Parents Should Know
I can't stop laughing at this
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| Posted 6/20/12 9:19 AM |
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