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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Need parenting advice quickly!
My daughter has very very bad separation anxiety. She is 5 and starting kindergarten in the fall. The past week and a half she has been doing a program at one of the elementary schools in town. Getting her on the bus is torture. Screaming, crying, pleading…. She also hates taking the bus home so the past couple days I picked her up. She was really bad this morning not behaving at all and I told her that this behavior is unacceptable and that she would have to take the bus home in the afternoon too. Now I am starting to feel guilty like I should go pick her up, but then I don't know if that makes the problem worse and she will never want to take the bus in the morning or afternoon. She really doesn't want to go period so driving her there in the morning will not really solve the issue. Should I call and tell them I will pick her up today or just leave it and let her take the bus. Also, her older brother and sister and all of our neighbors that she's known her whole life are all on the bus so it's not like she will be scared and all alone.
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Posted 7/13/17 9:27 AM  |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Need parenting advice quickly!
IMHO, don't pick her up. Be consistent and let her know that you will not be picking her up unless she is violently ill or in trouble with the understanding that she will spend the remainder of the day in her room if she comes home because she is either sick or punished.
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:31 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Need parenting advice quickly!
Leave it. Will you be able to pick her up for the school year? Even if you can there might be a random day you'll u can't. I am a big fan of tough love on some things. This is one I would not give into. You will have a big issue come sept if you don't stick with it now.
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:32 AM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Need parenting advice quickly!
Don't pick her up.
My son screams getting on the bus is the morning, but I refuse to drive him. In the afternoon he gets off all smiles and giggles. In the morning as soon as the bus pulls away he is fine, as per the bus driver.
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:32 AM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
I wouldnt pick her up - especially if her siblings and friends are on the same bus.
I know as a parent you feel guilty - completely get it, your heart breaks to see them upset...BUT the only way she will start to get over the separation anxiety is to be consistent.
Good Luck!
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:39 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Need parenting advice quickly!
My son is k bound and not wanting to go either. We are walkers so I'm anticipating carrying him to school screaming and crying the first day.
I wouldn't pick her up - you have to follow through on this or it will get worse.
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:53 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Definitely leave her be. She has plenty of familiar faces around & she has to learn that mom can't be with her during the day. IS this her first week going? Maybe when you start to see a little improvement, give her some type of reward in order keep pushing her in the right direction. Hang in there  
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| Posted 7/13/17 9:56 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
I would ask her what about taking the bus is making her feel so anxious?
Then I would remind her that her siblings and friends will be there too. I would not pick her up, and be consistent.
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| Posted 7/13/17 10:07 AM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
I wouldn't pick her up, specially since she has siblings and friends in the bus.
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| Posted 7/13/17 10:30 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Posted by LSP2005
I would ask her what about taking the bus is making her feel so anxious?
Then I would remind her that her siblings and friends will be there too. I would not pick her up, and be consistent.
She said she can't hear when they call the bus because there are a lot of people talking at once and she's afraid she will miss it. That's for the way home. On the way there she just doesn't want to go to the program. She said it's really boring and she doesn't know anyone. She is extremely shy and has a lot of anxiety issues that can sometimes manifest themselves with anger so I am afraid she's actually going to flip out when she realizes I am not picking her up today. But I guess I should just let whatever happens happen and let her get used to this.
I am a SAHM so while I would prefer that she take the bus I am fully capable of driving her there and back every day - however as a PP pointed out I would prefer that she take the bus for the few occasions when I am unavailable and there won't be another option.
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| Posted 7/13/17 10:41 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Need parenting advice quickly!
Can you make them aware that she is afraid she will miss the bus? Maybe someone can come to get her when its time for her bus to be called? So she wont be as nervous at the end of the day?
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:11 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
See I'm in the minority but if you know it causes her great distress to take the bus I don't think that's a fair punishment. I would probably pick her up.
I think its fair for her to take the bus going and if you're available pick her up after.
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:38 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Posted by Michi
Can you make them aware that she is afraid she will miss the bus? Maybe someone can come to get her when its time for her bus to be called? So she wont be as nervous at the end of the day?
I told them and they told me to tell her to tell them or write a note but she won't give the teachers the note - she is afraid for some reason. I am hoping she speaks up today and gives it to them.
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:49 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Need parenting advice quickly!
I must be a real softie, because I would drive her & pick her up if I knew it was making her that upset.
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:49 AM |
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Leave it. She will be ok
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:50 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Posted by JandJ1224
See I'm in the minority but if you know it causes her great distress to take the bus I don't think that's a fair punishment. I would probably pick her up.
I think its fair for her to take the bus going and if you're available pick her up after.
I know that's my problem - I don't think that she is being difficult just to be difficult. I think the anxiety paralyzes her with fear so I am not exactly sure forcing her to take the bus home is right but picking her up the last two days didn't help either. I didn't pick her up and it's dismissal time now so we will see if I get a phone call.
Thanks everyone for the advice! I will let you know how it goes!
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| Posted 7/13/17 11:51 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
I wouldn't say she was all smiles but she was totally fine - not upset at all. Guess I did the right thing by making her take it!
Thanks everyone!
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| Posted 7/13/17 12:41 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Posted by lululu
I wouldn't say she was all smiles but she was totally fine - not upset at all. Guess I did the right thing by making her take it!
Thanks everyone!
Glad it worked out!
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| Posted 7/13/17 12:47 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Posted by lululu
I wouldn't say she was all smiles but she was totally fine - not upset at all. Guess I did the right thing by making her take it!
Thanks everyone!
Great update!
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| Posted 7/13/17 4:40 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need parenting advice quickly!
Glad it worked out!
This was my grandson. Took some time but my daughter finally realized that he just wanted to be with HER. So one day she had her husband (his stepdad) pick him up. My grandson was shocked! He did it again the next day. Same thing. The stepdad picked him up and took him to his job.
Things turned around real quick
Kids know how to work the system
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| Posted 7/13/17 4:46 PM |
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