| Posted By |
Message |
LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
|
Moms with no village...
Not the most well-written but something I can definitely relate to and I'm sure many others can as well.
https://mom.me/baby/31807-moms-without-village/
|
Posted 8/30/16 9:15 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Moms with no village...
That would be me. Thank you for posting.
|
| Posted 8/30/16 9:44 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Moms with no village...
Great article. 100% me.
|
| Posted 8/30/16 9:53 PM |
| |
|
gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
|
Re: Moms with no village...
I don't even have words. This is so me. So me
|
| Posted 8/30/16 10:20 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Moms with no village...
The village that we really have is our friends and that's just for mental support. Really s*cks!
|
| Posted 8/31/16 8:39 AM |
| |
|
BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
|
Re: Moms with no village...
I truly feel for those who are in this situation. We are truly blessed to have our moms and my family in our lives to help us with everything when it comes to the kids. There are times we take it for granted for a split second, but are quickly reminded not to.
 for everyone doing it all on their own, it is not easy.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 9:07 AM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Moms with no village...
I have family around but I always feel bad asking them to watch DD- especially overnight.
We have never gone away without her for more than 1 night.
I couldn't fathom asking my parents to take her for a whole week, like i hear other people do. To me that is just such a HUGE imposition on my parents.
So while I have a small "village" I really don't take advantage of it.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 9:13 AM |
| |
|
AliceCullen
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1497 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms with no village...
This is me 100%. My mom passed away shortly before my son was born and no other family members are capable or willing to help. It's beyond stressful having no backup help when my son is sick and needs to stay home from daycare. This is part of the reason we are putting off having another child; it's just so hard without any family help. And of course we don't get date nights or any time together unless we take a day off work while he's in daycare and that's only possible a few times a year.
I can't even imagine being able to go away for a weekend with my DH while someone watched my son. I'm so jealous of people who are able to do this.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 9:43 AM |
| |
|
jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
|
Moms with no village...
This is us 100%. My mom passed away months after DS was born. My only brother wants nothing to do with my family. DH's family is in CA and will not ever come to NY. That's it. Some close friends will watch DS for a little while but I hate asking. And finding a reliable babysitter is impossible. I am so envious of those who have family around to help out when needed.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 10:34 AM |
| |
|
gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
|
Re: Moms with no village...
For me it's not even the weekend away(although I wouldn't mind that lol)
It's the trip to the store. Its a haircut or a pedicure It's pre school orientation where we can both go
I'm different bc I don't drive so it's like oh let's pack everyone in so I can get a.haircut. Then wait in the car till I'm done. I rather not go lol
It's the smaller things. Like when we looked for a house to buy. Would have been easier without twin toddlers. Same for
Our closing lol
|
| Posted 8/31/16 11:12 AM |
| |
|
mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: Moms with no village...
My mom has been sick for months and she was my only support I had outside of my husband. I always knew I was lucky to have her to help me with my kids but now that she can't do it I see I was beyond lucky it was a blessing. It is so incredibly hard to be a parent without anyone else to back you up. I feel like I'm always juggling and I'm beyond to drop a ball one day because there is no backup anymore. This article had me in tears but thank you for posting.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 1:48 PM |
| |
|
LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
|
Moms with no village...
When I was filling out DD's paperwork for daycare one of the questions was "who watches your child when mom/dad aren't home" (I'm paraphrasing but that was the gist). I left it blank. When we went over everything with the director she was like "oh you forgot this one." No, I didn't forget. It's not a question for us. Also, "what will happen if your child is sick and cannot come to daycare?" Well, one of us takes off from work. There is no backup. If she isn't at daycare, she's with one or both of us. And, for a while, she was with me even while I was working.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 2:24 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Moms with no village...
Posted by LuckyStar
When I was filling out DD's paperwork for daycare one of the questions was "who watches your child when mom/dad aren't home" (I'm paraphrasing but that was the gist). I left it blank. When we went over everything with the director she was like "oh you forgot this one." .
I would have written in- um, you guys. That's why I'm here and paying you an arm and a leg!
Message edited 8/31/2016 2:39:28 PM.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 2:34 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Moms with no village...
I have my parents but they don't live close by and I didn't have a husband or a SO for a while either
However, there is nothing wrong with creating a village as well. I am lucky that a lot of my son's friends (he is older now, 9) have helped me in a pinch, and I've hired babysitters when I had to. My sitter picked up at latchkey with the mom's, dad's and grandparents too.
We have two sitters we consider family now. I help out with my friend's kids too on weekends or date nights, etc.
There is always a silver lining
|
| Posted 8/31/16 3:09 PM |
| |
|
EandF
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 1674 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms with no village...
I am so lucky to have my parents a few blocks away. By choice! I literally only house hunted within a very short radius of their home.
I don't know what I'd do without them. They watch my kids and help me with pretty much everything. My parents are very low key and want absolutely nothing in return. We do take them for granted more than I'd like but I realize it and trying to change.
Parenting is so hard and for those of you without a village, huge props to you.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 4:29 PM |
| |
|
soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
|
Moms with no village...
My mom would have been the biggest component in my village. Unfortunately she wasn't able to see me become a mom and didn't get to meet my DSs, but if she was still alive, she would have adored my kids! She would have moved with me during the first few months and helped a great deal, for sure! That was just the kind of mom she was. There's not a day that passes that I don't think how much joy my LOs would have given her! I'm grateful to have our family and friends to help, really, but nobody compares to ur mom.
Message edited 8/31/2016 6:01:19 PM.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 5:31 PM |
| |
|
PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
|
Moms with no village...
This was me, but I decided to build my own village.
I come from a big family, but we live 3 hours away from them so they can't just come over on a whim and help out. DH's family is also three hours away. They are willing to help out, but it always need to be preplanned.
My DS just turned 2 and we now have a babysitter. We go out once a month for a few hours after DS goes to bed. Somehow we need to get someone else to do his bedtime, but I have no idea how that is going to work.
I also went and made my own mom's group. I really put mysef out there the last couple of months and it has been great.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 8:58 PM |
| |
|
Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
|
Re: Moms with no village...
Posted by soontobemommyof2
My mom would have been the biggest component in my village. Unfortunately she wasn't able to see me become a mom and didn't get to meet my DSs, but if she was still alive, she would have adored my kids! She would have moved with me during the first few months and helped a great deal, for sure! That was just the kind of mom she was. There's not a day that passes that I don't think how much joy my LOs would have given her! I'm grateful to have our family and friends to help, really, but nobody compares to ur mom.
Same here momma! It sucks. In my case I really have no one. All my friends and what lil family i have are in NY.
|
| Posted 8/31/16 9:06 PM |
| |
|
PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
|
Re: Moms with no village...
Posted by soontobemommyof2
My mom would have been the biggest component in my village. Unfortunately she wasn't able to see me become a mom and didn't get to meet my DSs, but if she was still alive, she would have adored my kids! She would have moved with me during the first few months and helped a great deal, for sure! That was just the kind of mom she was. There's not a day that passes that I don't think how much joy my LOs would have given her! I'm grateful to have our family and friends to help, really, but nobody compares to ur mom.
This is like my dh's mom too who unfortunately never got to meet our DS. She would have had a ball helping us register, planning birthday parties, would have completely taken over the shower plans, she loved that sort of thing. We are fortunate to otherwise have a very helpful village, but not a day goes by I don't think of our village member we miss so much.
|
| Posted 9/1/16 12:17 PM |
| |
|
