Anxiety in almost 4 year old

So my dd has always been a sensitive child. We have had our phases of separation anxiety like any other child.

More recently I am starting to notice her anxiety about separating from me has gotten to a level that my DH is concerned about. A few things happened recently that I think triggered it. Ive noticed it at this new level for the last week and half, for almost 2 weeks before that she was sick so I expect it then.

How do I know its a normal passing phase vs a real issue that maybe we need to talk to someone about? Do I look for a child psychologist? Do I first talk to her pediatrician?

She literally wont let me leave the room. She wont even go with her father anywhere. She was a wreck ALL DAY when I went to work last week. She was with my mother in law and she just kept having random break downs throughout the day asking where I am and when am I coming home. (shes never been that bad ever) She cries at drop off at school OR if she doesnt,then she wakes up and cries when she thinks about me leaving. She wont let me out of her sight EVER. If she doesnt see me she gets anxious. MOMMY MOMMY WHERE ARE YOU?!

Ive been talking to her telling her over and over its ok to be nervous. Those feelings are ok but we have to learn to cope with them. You dont want those feelings to hold you back from having fun. I want you to know you can handle this. You have to take a deep breath when you feel this way and tell yourself you will be ok. Mommy is coming back to get me. Im ok.

I dont know if I just need to give her some more time or if I should go talk to someone.

Message edited 4/11/2016 7:50:29 PM.

Anxiety in almost 4 year old

Have you tried talking about the events that you think triggered this anxiety. Maybe something like I know x happened and it was x , how did you feel? Acknowledge her feelings then point out but that she is ok, mommy is ok, daddy is ok. Point out How whatever x was its fixed or over what ever is applicable. Tell her that you are a strong family that loves each other and mommy always comes back.
I would practice seperating while you are in the house. Let her do x in one room for a set amount of time. Tell her you will be In a specific room doing something concrete she can imagine you are doing. Remind her that if she gets nervous that you are just in x room and that when the time is up or you are finished you will get her and you will both do something together. Again make it something concrete that she can look forward to doing. When time is up Praise her and remind her that she is a big girl and can do things on her own and that mommy came to get her etc. reassure reassure reassure. She will get past it.

Anxiety in almost 4 year old

I havent. It didnt even dawn on me to talk about it cause i didnt want to bring it up a scare her. But i think i should so i can validate her feelings.

Re: Anxiety in almost 4 year old

My 4 year old is playing up emotions: now it is fear that I will yell at her brother. I calmly tell her to stop it (she creams & cries for him). If she doesn't, I move to punishing her. This works very well & she actually calms down!
I think she does it to get attention.
Maybe your DD is similar.

Anxiety in almost 4 year old

My dd is still a baby but I was like this as a child. My mom had to stand outside the window while I was at preschool because I would flip if I couldn't see her. I wouldn't stay with my dad, my grandmas, anyone. I would get myself so hysterical that I couldn't breathe. For me, it wasn't about attention, I was irrationally afraid. My guess is I just wasn't mature enough to handle my feelings. Also, my mom was a SAHM so I didn't spend much time away from her. I think she just waited for me to outgrow it, which I did by kindergarten.

Re: Anxiety in almost 4 year old

I am having similar issues with my 4.5 year old. I spoke to the ped about it and she told me it's not uncommon for kids to develop anxiety at this age. She said you just have to work with them in working through it...that they are too little to understand and express themselves so to just be reassuring and work through it. She said they could be 6 or 7 before it resolves

Anxiety in almost 4 year old

Oyyyy 6 or 7...
Some of it is def straight anxiety from a few things that happened recently.
Some of it is she got herself into a habit and it got my attention when she was sick but i think now shes continued it.

Shes also started this new thing of when were out at stores i keep getting are you done yet? I want to go home. Over and over and over to the point i want to pull my hair out. Shes NEVER been like that. She just wants to go home.

today shes panicking about going to dance class and is begging me to sit in the room or she doesnt want to go... weve been going for a year and half, she LOVES dance. Usually looks forward to it. Today she keeps crying and asking me your going to sit in my class right?

Re: Anxiety in almost 4 year old

My DS has had bad anxiety since he was a baby. We worried our heads off about him and revolved our lives around not stressing him out even after we had another DC. We finally got him into therapy when he was 6 because starting school was so traumatic for him. He was like a completely different child within months and is SO much happier. His teacher this year said she would have had no idea he had anxiety at all if I hadn't mentioned therapy. It is SO worth it and something I regret not doing MUCH sooner. Good luck. I know how hard that is