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Tracy705
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 301 total posts
Name:
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Feel bad for my kids tonight!
They were all excited to light the hanunuka candles tonight but, my husband is staying in the city for a client holiday happy hour and won't be home till about 8. My husband is Jewish and does the candles and gifts with them. Each night I try to cook something nice. Just feel sad and depressed that my husband couldn't say "no" to this work event. He thinks he will never be partner if he has to miss something. I feel it's a family holiday and he should have made it known that he couldn't attend. I know I am overreacting but, it's so hard to tell your kids that you don't know if daddy will be home to do it before bed time at 8:30. Thanks for listening to my pity party!
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Posted 12/8/15 6:02 PM  |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Feel bad for my kids tonight!
Can you maybe face time for a few minutes and you or the kids do the candles?
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| Posted 12/8/15 6:19 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
That stinks, I know the feeling , both my dad and husband have jobs where they often work on major family holidays. Maybe since it is a special occasion they can stay up a little late and wait for your DH as long as he will be home at a semi reasonable hour?
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| Posted 12/8/15 6:21 PM |
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Tracy705
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 301 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
I will do it with them if he doesn't get home before 9pm. I would totally get it if he was actually getting work done. He's at a bar drinking. I guess I just don't get the obligation of it! Trying my best to understand and no get upset with him directly!
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| Posted 12/8/15 6:25 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
Posted by Tracy705
I will do it with them if he doesn't get home before 9pm. I would totally get it if he was actually getting work done. He's at a bar drinking. I guess I just don't get the obligation of it! Trying my best to understand and no get upset with him directly!
as a working mo who misses most of the after-work activities because i want to get home to my kid, your husband is 100% right.
all the schmoozing and networking goes on after-hours. drinking at a bar may seem frivolous to you, but it is definitely helping his career.
i've been left out, not included, not thought about many times at work, all because i missed drinks and didn't hear a story.
light the candle with your kids, and know that your husband is trying his hardest to do what's right for you, even if he sometimes has to make hard decisions.
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| Posted 12/8/15 10:09 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
I get why you're annoyed, but just light the candies with the kids tonight on your own. Do it a little before their bedtime so they have time to play with their gifts. My DH is catholic, but he will have to light the candles with our boys tomorrow night because I work until 8:30 and they're in bed by then. It's not ideal, but it is what it is.
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| Posted 12/9/15 8:44 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
Your husband is right - Unfortunately, you have to choose, and IMO, this is one of those 'rare' things when it's even worse for the men -
b/c for all of the 'other' stuff working moms deal with, they still see you as a woman, as a mom, and "Mom" traditionally does everything, while Dad goes to work and makes the money and WHY would he have to miss an business event b/c Mom is already there ........??
I'm not saying it's right, it's infuriating (believe me, trying to beat the working Mom stigma is exhausting) but, it's unfortunately very very true.
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| Posted 12/9/15 11:12 AM |
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
I work for a predominately Jewish office and we had a holiday party on Monday and plenty of people went to the party vs. going home to their kids for the holiday.
Personally, as much as it is a family holiday, it is also a long holiday, and there are work holiday obligations too.
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| Posted 12/9/15 11:49 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feel bad for my kids tonight!
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by Tracy705
I will do it with them if he doesn't get home before 9pm. I would totally get it if he was actually getting work done. He's at a bar drinking. I guess I just don't get the obligation of it! Trying my best to understand and no get upset with him directly!
as a working mo who misses most of the after-work activities because i want to get home to my kid, your husband is 100% right.
all the schmoozing and networking goes on after-hours. drinking at a bar may seem frivolous to you, but it is definitely helping his career.
i've been left out, not included, not thought about many times at work, all because i missed drinks and didn't hear a story.
light the candle with your kids, and know that your husband is trying his hardest to do what's right for you, even if he sometimes has to make hard decisions.
Exactly. It sucks but you have to do it if you want to get ahead. He probably feels just as bad for your kids but he's doing it for them. Hopefully it will only be this one night and he will be present for the nights.
Message edited 12/10/2015 11:16:24 AM.
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| Posted 12/10/15 11:15 AM |
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