Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

DD will turn 4 in December and this is the first year that we will be inviting "school friends" to her party. Is it ok to only invite the few kids she is friends with or should I be inviting the whole class even though she isn't close to them all?

Message edited 10/9/2015 12:31:20 PM.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I think its fine to just invite a few of the friends she is close with but my DS school has a rule if you put invites in their cubbies, you cant just put them in a few, you have to invite all the kids. Thankfully DS bday is just before school starts for the year so I dont have to deal with that.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

At that age I would invite the whole class. Only inviting some can lead to hurt feelings since some children will feel excluded. And if you don't invite the whole class, definitely don't hand out invitations at school. some schools actually have rules in place for things like this so you could always just ask the teacher.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

how many kids in the class? if its not a huge class... i would invite them all to avoid any hurt feelings. you might think the not invited kids/parents wouldn't find out... but with Facebook, IG and all that now... people find out and feelings could get hurt. chances are, the ones she's not close with probably won't come anyway
if you decide to only invite the few she's close with, i definitely would mail the invitations instead of giving them out at school.
DS is gonna be 5 in a month, and we invited his whole preschool class- its only 10 kids (besides him) so i figured why not?

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

Thanks everyone. My intention this year was to invite the whole class (its only 10 kids) but I just put together our invite list and there are over 30 kids on it when you add her friends outside school, family friends and family etc which is insane when you consider the pparty package only includes 10 kids!!!!. I absolutely have to cut the list or else my husband will KILL me.. so I am torn between not inviting some family friends whose kids shes not SUPER close with (though she is always invited to their parties) or only selectively inviting some of her class mates because I have to cut somewhere! (I would prefer to cut the cousins since we will have a fam party anyway) but that wont fly well with DH!

Message edited 10/9/2015 1:08:42 PM.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I only invited the ones I knew the mothers and then two that he begged for. We got a friendship tree list so I contacted them outside of school. I had an end of the school year party and invited everyone and half never RSVPed, so I don't feel bad about not inviting them again. I am a little worried about K next year.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I just invited her friends, there about 30 kids in the 4 year old groups, and they switch around in various groups so I asked her teachers who her friends are, and just invited them, their parents and siblings.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

with a group of 10 kids I would invite them all.. Kids talk about that stuff at this age and I wouldn't want to hurt any feelings. We had the same problem and I finally decided that I was going to cut out the family and friends that my kid barely knows and can care less if they were there. Some she barely knew. She spends sooo much time with her classmates and the party is about HER and her FRIENDS.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I invite all or none, but she only had like 12 kids in her class. These kids talk about everything in Pre-K you do not want to make anyone sad.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

DD's birthday isn't until March so i haven't really considered it yet, but now that i think about it i won't invite the whole class. It's only 12 kids (including DD) but of that 12 there's only 3 that are girls. I'd definitely only invite the girls bc chances are it will be a girly party and pulling in 9 boys whose parents i dont know & she prob wont be that close to anyway just seems silly. But i may just do a party without Pre-K friends anyhow. I always figured school friends would develop more in elementary & make more sense to invite then.

In your case (to the OP) with a guest list that high, I'd probably just not invite any preschool kids. Though i dont see anything wrong with just inviting a few so long as invites are done outside of school.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I'd do all or none, unless you have relationships with those kids/parents outside of dc.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I have never invited my DS entire class to a party. That's just ridiculous if you have other friends kids and family members to invite. And I, nor my kids, have ever been bothered if they weren't invited to a party. They understand that not everyone is their good friend, and that's ok.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

My ds has been in daycare since basically birth and have been invited to a bunch of parties. They never invite the entire class. When he isn't invited he never even mentions it more than once if at all.

I would invite whoever you want.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

While I think its a nice sentiment to invite the entire class, I personally feel its a bit unnecessary. Birthday parties for young children can be very costly (of course this depends on several factors), but if you are having the party at a facility (laser tag, bouncy place, wood kingdom, kidville, adventureland, etc.) it's a lot of money. I think its a financial burden to the hosting parents to expect them to invite an entire class (yes, even if the class is only 10 kids). If you are inviting other people (family members, friend's children, neighborhood children, dance class friends, etc.) the number of people will add up quickly! Is it possible that some children in the class will feel left out? Sure, but that's life. I know my opinion may not be popular but I a firm believer that sooner or later, children have to learn disappointment, that not everyone is a best friend to you or even a close friend to you, that you aren't always going to be included in things, and that's okay. I think the earlier this concept is introduced, the easier it is to cope/deal with. I don't get this whole "everyone needs to be included all the time" thing. I'm not a fan of participation trophies for everyone for sporting events, or siblings getting presents on their siblings birthdays so they have something to open, and things of that sort but that's another story/thread all together.......

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

We invited the whole class which is 8 additional to my 2 make class 10 total. Some are not coming.

Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I do all or nothing. If anything, I think you could get away with only boys or only girls, but that's as far as I'd go. Even 3/4 year olds talk. DD has come home from school at 4 years old saying "So and So said I'm not invited to her party" and being upset about it.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

There are 20 kids in my kids class (because they got part time on different days)

I do not plan on inviting all of them.
Quite frankly when I asked dd who she played with there were 4 girls she said he doesn't play with because they are not nice. I've seen these girls in action at other birthday parties and I agree with my dd. they are down right nasty at times.
I don't see the point inviting kids who my kid has no interest in being there.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

I have never invited the entire class, and have never felt bad about it. There are plenty of things kids don't get invited to. Everyone should be teaching their kids that. It's the parents that make it a big deal, not the kids anyway.

Re: Birthday Party Etiquette in Pre School

We are just doing girls. Honestly, they are still so little, no one knows since they dont hand out invites in class (teacher puts them in cubbies) and after a weekend away from one another, they probably wont even talk to about it on Monday.

Plus, for my DD we are doing a Spa party, so no boys anyway.