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is this weird? wwyd/say?
Ok. So we moved into my mom's house this winter. To save some money for a house. The neighbor across the street is my son's age. They play well together and I don't mind that they play in the backyard. So the house is a blended family. There is a family of 3 who own the house. A man (owners brother), a young girl another woman and her son (child my son plays with). The woman does not speak much English and is at work a lot. The man, who is not dating or related to her watches the kid. He is weird. Very strange. Like if we are in the front yard he inches his way over just to talk. And he loves to talk about what a bad mom the woman is and how he sets all these rules for the child and he cooks him dinner and basically how great he is. The thing that weird me out most is when the kids are out back playing, in my backyard, this man comes over and plays. I don't like him, I don't want him here. I'm at the point I don't even go back there when the kids are playing bc he is there. They are 6 so they don't need constant supervision in a fenced backyard. And I usually sit out with them. Until this man just invites himself back. Even if I'm in the house. He comes over and helps himself into the backyard. He's a big man and he swings on the swings. And is just weird. How do I politely say, the kid can come, not you? I wanna enjoy the backyard this summer.
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Posted 6/6/15 12:58 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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edfilippi
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 997 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
I don't know how you would say it but I know that if I couldn't go somewhere my child was they would not be going either.
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| Posted 6/6/15 1:37 PM |
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
I get what your saying. But it's not his child. And I am outside with them. Until he comes over. Then we usually go in. Maybe I just don't see it that way. But I do understand what you mean.
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| Posted 6/6/15 1:43 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
If this man is watching the child I do not think it is strange he accompanies the child in a play date.
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| Posted 6/6/15 2:15 PM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
He may be strange but i think its normal for him to be around the kid he is watching. I would think it were strange if he trusted the kid at a neighbors house. We personally go to any neighbors house where my son is playing,
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| Posted 6/6/15 2:52 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
I understand both sides...we have a little boy across the street...one of them used to come with him to play with my kids and it really made it so I didn't want him to come over anymore...when I'm working on my yard on a weekend, I don't want someone there that I have to "entertain". It might be normal, but I still wouldn't like it. I don't know if you can change it, but i would feel the same way.
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| Posted 6/6/15 3:22 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
The guy is probably nervous to leave him, especially since it's not his child. Maybe just limit play time to an hour or so? We don't do drop off play dates yet, and it really limits any play time
Message edited 6/6/2015 3:54:26 PM.
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| Posted 6/6/15 3:52 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by edfilippi
I don't know how you would say it but I know that if I couldn't go somewhere my child was they would not be going either.
 Seems like caring for the child IS his job in that house, no?
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:39 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
You can try to say something along the lines of "Oh you don't have to stand here, I'm watching them". If he doesn't take the hint though... I'm not sure what else you can do. I hate making small talk and that would irritate me. As for the swings, are they built to hold the weight of an adult? If not, I would def ask him to not play on them and tell him they aren't built to hold that much weight.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:41 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
I totally get what you're saying. By on the flip side he could think you're a huge weirdo and not trust you. Or think to himself she isn't watching them so I have to. Or maybe he's lonely or just a chatty person.
It would totally annoy me too. But not sure there is anything to say without sounding like a giant B.
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| Posted 6/6/15 10:56 PM |
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Mrs213
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by Leb
I totally get what you're saying. By on the flip side he could think you're a huge weirdo and not trust you. Or think to himself she isn't watching them so I have to. Or maybe he's lonely or just a chatty person.
It would totally annoy me too. But not sure there is anything to say without sounding like a giant B.
This is what I think, if he's the caretaker of the child for the time being he is ultimately responsible for his safety so is likely just looking out
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| Posted 6/6/15 11:00 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
No, I don't think the fact that he comes to your house with the boy is weird at all. If it is his JOB to watch the kid - I think he HAS to come honestly. If I had someone watching my DS and they let him go to the neighbors house alone while the babysitter sat in my house doing nothing I would be livid. I would NOT be OK with the situation you describe honestly.
As for the living situation at the house in general and this man in general and his overall relationship to all these people yes, I think that is super weird. However, I don't think that gives you the right to say only the kid can play at your house. I TOTALLY get you not wanting to have this man there but, I think it's all or nothing - no man, no kid.
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| Posted 6/7/15 9:18 AM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
Your post is a little confusing. Do you think the guy is like a creep? Or just kind of over bearing?
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| Posted 6/7/15 10:52 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Maybe he feels bad dropping the kid off for you to look after?
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| Posted 6/7/15 12:12 PM |
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stillasecret
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 370 total posts
Name:
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is this weird? wwyd/say?
Does he make you uncomfortable? Or is the situation just awkward?
My 3 year old is forever dragging my husband along if she sees other kids playing outside. He hates it but what can he do, tell her no?
He hangs back and just watches and interacts with my daughter. Never in a back yard but if one of my neighbors invited her back even at 6 he'd definitely go.
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| Posted 6/8/15 8:12 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by myboysmyheart
I'm at the point I don't even go back there when the kids are playing bc he is there. They are 6 so they don't need constant supervision in a fenced backyard. And I usually sit out with them. Until this man just invites himself back. Even if I'm in the house. He comes over and helps himself into the backyard. He's a big man and he swings on the swings. And is just weird. How do I politely say, the kid can come, not you? I wanna enjoy the backyard this summer.
So you let your child play outside in the back with the man and the child, while you are in the house? I wouldn't do that, especially if you think the guy is "creepy". I do however see how why he comes over if he is the caretaker of the 6 year old.
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| Posted 6/8/15 8:23 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by Strawberry2468
Maybe he feels bad dropping the kid off for you to look after?
This or the mom doesn't feel comfortable with him not being there
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| Posted 6/9/15 12:45 AM |
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
I was in a similar position but it was a boy in DS's nursery class. The dad was a SAHD and the mom worked. He asked a lot of the moms for playdates and nobody would have them. We would meet at the park once in a while.
What it came down to was it was awkward for us moms to be hanging out with dad. I remember even asking my DH what he thought about it and he didn't think it was a big deal but saw my side.
I feel for SAHD because it is not common.
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| Posted 6/10/15 2:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by JerseyMamaOf3
I was in a similar position but it was a boy in DS's nursery class. The dad was a SAHD and the mom worked. He asked a lot of the moms for playdates and nobody would have them. We would meet at the park once in a while.
What it came down to was it was awkward for us moms to be hanging out with dad. I remember even asking my DH what he thought about it and he didn't think it was a big deal but saw my side.
I feel for SAHD because it is not common.
I'd much prefer to hang with a bunch of dads than moms. Just saying! 
I bet they'd be a lot more fun!
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| Posted 6/10/15 2:54 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: is this weird? wwyd/say?
Posted by JerseyMamaOf3
I was in a similar position but it was a boy in DS's nursery class. The dad was a SAHD and the mom worked. He asked a lot of the moms for playdates and nobody would have them. We would meet at the park once in a while.
What it came down to was it was awkward for us moms to be hanging out with dad. I remember even asking my DH what he thought about it and he didn't think it was a big deal but saw my side.
I feel for SAHD because it is not common.
I don't think this is the same though -
The SAHD is doing the EXACT same thing a woman would do as a Mom. I think it was weird that your circle wouldn't accept his playdate offers simply b/c he was a man. I've gone to the park 100 times with Dad's of my boys friends.....Mom works on a Saturday, or she was getting a haircut, or I was running errands and my DH took the boys with the other Moms there ......
This is different. It sounds like thie PERSON just gives you the creeps and makes you uncomfortable. But if that were the case, I don't think i'd want that person around MY child without me there .......KWIM?
I'd suck it up for your son's sake, or, limit their playtime.
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| Posted 6/10/15 3:55 PM |
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