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Advice for parents caught in the act?
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
This.  Also, this kind of topic should be an ongoing dialogue that is age appropriate for a child. I completely agree with the poster above who called the reaction to it sanctamommy. Those comments were not helpful and just full of judgmental snark.
To the OP, I would have a talk with DC while in the car. This way he does not have to look at you. But you can use the time to explain privacy, knocking, and that in a normal - loving consensual adult relationship sex is part of it, but it is not for experimenting with as a kid or teen. That there are consequences - STDs, pregnancy/baby, and that as a kid it is illegal for him to have sex. But most of all it is ok to have questions, and if he does he can feel free to go see you or his dad about them. I am basing this on him seeing vanilla type of stuff, if it was something else, then yes locks on the door and some therapy might be in order for a younger child.
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Posted 12/14/13 2:06 PM  |
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LIMomma
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 523 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
To the OP, I would have a talk with DC while in the car. This way he does not have to look at you. But you can use the time to explain privacy, knocking, and that in a normal - loving consensual adult relationship sex is part of it, but it is not for experimenting with as a kid or teen. That there are consequences - STDs, pregnancy/baby, and that as a kid it is illegal for him to have sex. But most of all it is ok to have questions, and if he does he can feel free to go see you or his dad about them. I am basing this on him seeing vanilla type of stuff, if it was something else, then yes locks on the door and some therapy might be in order for a younger child.
I had "the" talk with my DD in the car because she had nowhere to escape too....I waited until we were on the highway, I never thought of the second benefit that we didn't have to look at each other. Although I know what her facial expression was from all the EWWs and never talk to me about this agains that she was saying from the back seat.
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| Posted 12/14/13 2:35 PM |
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
I have a 7 year old and I don't think he knows what sex is at all.
I would ask the child what he saw and take it from there. I assume the lights were off. I would make sure he knows that mommy is always there if he needs her. That he does have to knock. That he is the most important person in her world, and that she is always there if he needs to talk.
Answer his questions. Make sure he knows that it's for adults only, that it was a mistake, that she's sorry.
Keep it simple.
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| Posted 12/14/13 4:05 PM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
Posted by hopingforbaby
I am pretty sure the OP was asking for advice on what she can tell her friend, not for her friend to be bashed and called irresponsible. What's done is done and that isn't really helping anyone.
Also, not really sure why it being a stepdad makes it oh so much worse? My stepdad was a second father to me and it really wouldn't have been any more traumatic to see him with my mom than my birth father.
Thanks yes. Locking the door or not isn't the issue, no matter what the time was.
She's so embarrassed and her usually lovey child is standoffish. And she is just looking for advise. Her husband is the greatest guy too.
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| Posted 12/14/13 4:47 PM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
Thanks everyone for the nonbiased advice.
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| Posted 12/15/13 8:45 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Advice for parents caught in the act?
Posted by Millie3
Ewww lock the door, what is wrong with people? And for some reason, it's much worse that it is a step dad involved. Very irresponsible IMO.
First, I'm not sure why it it's "so much worse" because it's a step dad. Why the hell does that matter? Strange statement.
Second, it's not "irresponsible". Things happen in the heat of the moment, sometimes (like any normally functioning human being) you just don't think. Life happens and truthfully, awkward as the situation is, it's not the end of the world. I'm sure her DS will survive the embarrassment of the situation, no real harm done.
To the OP, as everyone has already said, I think she just needs to talk to her son about what happened. I don't know that I would get into the specifics of sex at that age but I would talk about respecting someone's privacy, to always knock before entering someone else's room, etc. It is an awkward situation for everyone but obviously it does need to be addressed however, with a child that age I would keep the conversation fairly quick and basic.
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| Posted 12/15/13 9:03 AM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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