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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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annoyed at friend wwyd
i thought i was over this...but apparently i am not bc the past two times this friend called, i didnt answer nor do i have any desire to call her back
long story short, when i told her i was pregnant wtih #2 she reacted terribly. this was about 2 months ago and since then i really have no desire to speak to her. i tried...i saw her for her daughters party (but it was a large group setting so i barely spent time with her) and once or twice i spoke with her on the phone but dont have much to say. since her initial reaction, she has been fine and asks how im feeling etc and calls to "check in"...i think she knows how awful her reaction was and may be trying to make up for it.
do i just hope that in time ill get over it or would you say something?
im not letting her bring me down - im living my life and surrounding myself by everyone else that is thrilled for me and DH but at the same time dont want to lose a friend over this
Message edited 12/9/2013 2:15:38 PM.
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Posted 12/9/13 2:15 PM  |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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annoyed at friend wwyd
*crashing* I guess I would just wonder WHY her reaction was so bad. If she's had a loss that maybe you don't know about, that could be a reason why your exciting news is not exciting for her. Just something to consider.
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| Posted 12/9/13 2:18 PM |
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KroertGS
LIF Infant
Member since 6/13 263 total posts
Name:
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annoyed at friend wwyd
If she is a good friend and you care about continuing the relationship, I would be honest and tell her that you've been distant because her reaction hurt you.
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| Posted 12/9/13 2:18 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
Posted by jessnbrian
*crashing* I guess I would just wonder WHY her reaction was so bad. If she's had a loss that maybe you don't know about, that could be a reason why your exciting news is not exciting for her. Just something to consider.
her reaction was so bad bc it wasnt the way SHE did it
she has two kids...spaced them out 5 years apart which is in her head what was the perfect age difference. the fact that i deviated from HER plan was appalling to her (that was literally the reaction that came across)
mine will be 15 months apart and her reaction was oh my goodness what are you going to do?? (almost as if she was asking if i was going to keep it) how are you going to manage, its going to be so hard, are you sure this is what you want
etc etc etc
Message edited 12/9/2013 2:24:05 PM.
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| Posted 12/9/13 2:23 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
Posted by jams92
Posted by jessnbrian
*crashing* I guess I would just wonder WHY her reaction was so bad. If she's had a loss that maybe you don't know about, that could be a reason why your exciting news is not exciting for her. Just something to consider.
her reaction was so bad bc it wasnt the way SHE did it
she has two kids...spaced them out 5 years apart which is in her head what was the perfect age difference. the fact that i deviated from HER plan was appalling to her (that was literally the reaction that came across)
mine will be 15 months apart and her reaction was oh my goodness what are you going to do?? (almost as if she was asking if i was going to keep it) how are you going to manage, its going to be so hard, are you sure this is what you want
etc etc etc
Gotcha, well, that's a totally different story then! I agree with the pp, if you are close with her, tell her how her reaction made you feel. If you don't care about the friendship, then ignore it.
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| Posted 12/9/13 2:27 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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annoyed at friend wwyd
I remember what happened when you posted about it before. Sounds like it's still eating you up. I would say something and clear the air. I'm sure her reaction was a knee jerk reaction. Even if that is how she feels she didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure she feels bad and sounds like she is trying. Sounds like you're still annoyed so I would say something and be able to move on for the friendship
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:00 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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annoyed at friend wwyd
I would probably just let it go and move on. If she has been fine since, what is the point of bringing it up? It doesn't surprise me that someone who spaced their kids 5 years apart would be totally freaked by kids 15 months apart! What would be the point in confronting her and bringing it up again?
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:06 PM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
If she is a friend that is worth it then you tell her what she did, how she made you feel and that the way she does things for herself is great but she needs to know its not ok for her to push her ideals onto you or anyone else. See what happens after that.
If you dont feel that having this convo is worth your breath then she really wasn't a keeper. However I find that sometimes you have friends that are in your life, go and come back around.
Good Luck
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:15 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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annoyed at friend wwyd
Honestly.....I wouldn't end a friendship over this. She reacted that way cause she couldn't fathom being able to handle it......I don;t see it as that bad.
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:17 PM |
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
My first 2 are the same age difference and I got the same response from people. Don't let it get to you. Honestly, it is a lot easier than having them far apart, I think.
I would try and let it go. If she brings it up again, I would be frank with her and let her know it isn't her problem to wonder how you will do it, because you are not the first nor last person to have kids 15 months apart.
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:29 PM |
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Alyssa79
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 352 total posts
Name:
Triple A
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
talk to her about it and be blunt. tell her it hurt you and end of story. no reason to end a friendship over this…at least discuss it and see how you feel after
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:34 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
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annoyed at friend wwyd
I find that I can barely stand anyone right now. I am chalking it up to pregnancy hormones. A lot of things that I normally wouldn't think twice about bother me about a lot of people, so I have been trying to keep my distance from them to avoid conflict.
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| Posted 12/9/13 3:54 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
100% honesty, if a friend can't understand, support or be happy for my life decisions then they are not the friend for me. It's not like you told her you decided to be a prostitute. You're growing a family!
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| Posted 12/9/13 4:25 PM |
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ricki528
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 155 total posts
Name:
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annoyed at friend wwyd
My two are 13 months apart and I got those reactions also. I just let them
Go in one ear and out another. Now they are almost 3 and 2 and are so cute together. I couldn't imagine it any other way
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| Posted 12/9/13 6:24 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
I would let it go. I got similar reactions when I told people I was pregnant with my third child. People called me crazy, what was I thinking, I don't envy you, etc....
Everyone has their own opinion, and some don't know when to shut their mouths about it. If she is being okay now, then just continue the relationship.
I do understand why you are hurt though. I would be too.
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| Posted 12/9/13 9:52 PM |
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Maestra821
LIF Infant
Member since 6/13 248 total posts
Name:
Alida
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annoyed at friend wwyd
I hate everybody these days....
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| Posted 12/11/13 8:31 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
I would have a REALLY hard time with her reaction and that's coming from a non-pregnant chick. 
If you think she's worth keeping as a friend, I'd tell her flat out how you feel about her reaction. I don't think I'd want someone who would react to any news I had like that, so I personally probably wouldn't spend much time with her anymore but that's just me.
At a minimum I'd tell her she was WAY out of line with what she said and that you're not happy about it. Her making negative comments about a situation that isn't going to change and you're HAPPY about makes her sound like a toxic friend to me.
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| Posted 12/11/13 10:52 AM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
Posted by Sparrow
I would have a REALLY hard time with her reaction and that's coming from a non-pregnant chick.
If you think she's worth keeping as a friend, I'd tell her flat out how you feel about her reaction. I don't think I'd want someone who would react to any news I had like that, so I personally probably wouldn't spend much time with her anymore but that's just me.
At a minimum I'd tell her she was WAY out of line with what she said and that you're not happy about it. Her making negative comments about a situation that isn't going to change and you're HAPPY about makes her sound like a toxic friend to me.
agree with this 100%
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| Posted 12/11/13 12:32 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: annoyed at friend wwyd
Mine are the same age difference apart as well. I don't think I would have said...what are you going to do...but I don't think it is outrageous for her to think...omg, seems like a lot. To me it's just a common thought for someone that had a different age range. I bet she didn't mean to hurt you. I would either let it go or tell her. I bet she seriously said it nonchalantly.
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| Posted 12/11/13 9:07 PM |
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