I feel betrayed

Message edited 4/19/2013 7:51:18 AM.

Re: I feel betrayed

I would be livid. Not sure if I would talk to that person again considering you told them not to tell anyone. That was a really terrible thing for them to do

I feel betrayed

How close is our friendship with her? I would guess you are close enough that you told her and didn't tell many others.

While I would probably want to punch her in the face, I would probably remain friends with her but know my boundaries with her. I would know that she has a big mouth and I can't tell her anything. I also can't believe that she truly values our friendship so it would be more of a "hey, how are you?" relationship, instead of the "I have a secret...do you want to grab dinner?" relationship. I know I wouldn't be able to COMPLETELY cut ties with her.

Re: I feel betrayed

I would not confide in this friend anymore which means I would start to limit my time with her. I would be afraid of what else she was sharing about me with others if she is even sharing the things that you say not to repeat!

Re: I feel betrayed

I probably should add- this was my mother

Re: I feel betrayed

Posted by TuttsyLow

I probably should add- this was my mother

Re: I feel betrayed

I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I would be SO MAD!!! How I would deal with it personally (not saying this is the best thing to do though, but I don't know) I would definitely give her the cold shoulder for a LONG time, guilt her, be extremely nasty to her, & just in general make her know this was NOT okay at all. I would tell her, I'll never trust you again & I'll never tell you anything again, & I'd probably call her a liar for saying she'd keep it a secret & really make her feel like sh!t to the extreme so she understands (which I think is deserving in this situation since she violated your trust & did lie to you). I can be very nasty when I'm pissed off. Again not saying that's the best way to handle it, who knows, but I'd never be able to just brush it off. Sometimes a person needs to be taught a lesson.

Re: I feel betrayed

wow, so sorry to this happen to you. I personally would not be friends with her any longer. I would constantly have to worry whatever I tell her is going somewhere else. How long would you be a to have a conversation about the weather and not share anything for fear that you're not talking to her but to these other people.

And she lied to your face? IDK I don't think I could ever trust her again. Good luck

I feel betrayed

This was your mother? That makes a HUGE difference.

Honestly, if it was my mother, I would probably call my dad and have him handle it first so I could calm down. She listens to him and if I were to talk to her after that I would probably flip my lid. I am SO sorry that this happened to you. It's one thing when it's a friend but another when it's a family member! When we told our parents, mainly my MIL, we told her "if you tell anyone, we won't be calling you when I go into labor".

Try and talk to your mom (after you've calmed down a little bit). Call her out on her BS excuse and tell her that you told her not to say anything. Tell her that you don't feel confident enough to tell her anything about your pregnancy anymore and you are sad that now you won't have your mother around for such an important part of your life. I'm Jewish and STRONGLY believe in "Jewish guilt"!

I hope you feel better soon and I hope your mom comes around and apologizes and realizes what she did was EXTREMELY wrong!

Re: I feel betrayed

I would be mad and would not talk to her for a little while (I talk to my mom every day). I would not never talk to her again though its your mom. She is excited and prob. wanted to rub in their faces that you are so happy without them?

I am sorry. I would be really bad for a while though.

I feel betrayed

Can i blame you for Sandy too? how ridiculous! Im sorry your mom did that to you! I'd be so angry! im not really sure what i would say but you definitely need to talk to her about it!

Re: I feel betrayed

I have a unique relationship with my mother to begin with, so that taints my response a bit, but if she did something this severe it would 100% lead to us not speaking for an extended period of time. For me, unfortunately, that wouldn't be so difficult as it happens with a fair amount of regularity. However, if you are close with your mom it may be really difficult and I am so sorry she did that and you are going through this!

Re: I feel betrayed

Message edited 4/19/2013 7:52:00 AM.

Re: I feel betrayed

Re: I feel betrayed

I think you should go with whatever natural feeling you are feeling. If you are angry, be angry. If you aren't angry but think you should be, I would let it go.

I would feel angry and betrayed if I were you.

I feel betrayed

I probably would not speak to my mom until she came back begging and pleading on her hands and knees for forgiveness.

I feel betrayed

I would be very upset with her. Tell her she's betrayed your trust again and you will never tell her something in confidence again.

Re: I feel betrayed

I'm sorry, the damages from an act of God were your fault??? How does that make any kind of sense?

I've had someone say bad things to me, but to blame me for damages they for from a storm is completely irrational and just mind boggling

As far as your mom, I'd speak to her but never tell her anything private again. That is a really sucky situation to be in

I feel betrayed

I sent you an FM...but we REALLy have to ask the question:

What is mom's payout? What is she getting from betraying your trust like that? Its obviousl she gets something from it.

Does she enjoy the drama? Does she LOVE being the center of attentiuon?

Does she love the fact she can TELL everyone what a bad daughter you are by not speaking to her?

I say DONT give her what she wants. She knew FULL well what she was doing, and the concequences of those actions.

So why do it again???????

I say you dont have to give her the silent treatment, but you dont have to share anything. You dont have to initiate a phonce call. If she calls speak to her but dont tell her anything.

Its not right and I'm angry for you. I think you should name the baby Sandy just to rub it in her face!

Re: I feel betrayed

Re: I feel betrayed

I feel betrayed

That really sucks! Obviously you're excited and you want to share this news with your mother, but it's hard in the beginning because you don't want people knowing right away.

And I'm sure your mom is excited about her future grandchild, so she wants to tell people too. My mom kept BEGGING me to let her tell people and I kept saying- just wait a couple weeks until I go to the doctor and everything's in the clear. It was killing her but she respected my wishes.

According to my mom= they didn't have HPTs back then so they didn't really KNOW they were pregnant until they went to the doctor, and by then they were much further along. So they didn't have that "waiting" period like we do now. so they just dont GET it in that generation.

Some people are also just really really bad at keeping secrets. My SIL told everyone last time I was preg. and I ended up having a miscarriage. Then a few weeks later I was at a party for her kids and so many people came up to me saying "Congratulations!" And I had to explain to them that I lost the baby. It was awkward and sad for everyone. I left there pissed off. And then my FIL told her that I was upset and she felt really bad.

I made sure to tell people this story so they could understand why it was so important not to tell anyone. I would sit down with you mom and explain to her that its so fragile at this stage, and you really expected her to understand that.

I feel betrayed

I would never not speak to my own mother but I would sure give her the silent treatment for awhile and be sure to express to her how hurt and dissapointed I was. So sorry you had to go through this!

Re: I feel betrayed

Re: I feel betrayed

Message edited 4/19/2013 7:52:23 AM.