I just can't even believe it - vent

So I call my mom to let her know this cycle is a bust and she starts to say to me, "maybe you shouldn't try so hard and when you least expect it, it will happen"! I'm sorry but is she F-ing kidding me??!! I mean really. Because me not "trying over the past 4 years " really worked well for us. I just can't believe my own mother said this knowing how much I have always wanted a baby. A stranger or even a friend maybe but my own mother?!

I have no words. I told her please don't say that to me. I know she means well and has nothing else to say but I would rather her just say she's sorry. It sucks.

Rant over. AF better get here soon cuz my hormones are raging!!

I just can't even believe it - vent

That's frustrating. Everyone says the same thing to me. Honestly, I try to beleive it but I know we are all at different points in TTC. **hugs**

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

I hear you.. my Mom is the worst when it comes to emotional supportive things.. the main reason why I don't tell her squat! Plus she is a blabber. I just want to send you hugs and I know how lonely this journey is. People who are not in it, just do not understand at all! I have one single friend
(my bestie from HS) and my DH in which I tell everything to. That is it! Def try and pick people who will empower you and help cushion the blow when things get rough. I wish I had a mom who was like this but she doesn't know how to be and I have accepted it. Sending you

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

She probably just doesn't know what else to say. That's what EVERYONE says. I still get it from people and now I just nod and say yeah you're probably right. I can't deal with saying it has nothing to do with relaxing, not holding my legs up, drinking wine, taking or not taking my vitamins/green tea and every other thing people tell you to do.

It helps to surround yourself with those who understand. These boards can be very helpful for that.

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

Thank you. You are both right. Thank god for these boards!! Thankfully I do have a couple of close friends I talk to. One is going to be going through this soon and the other just listens and feels terrible for me. She always tells me she can't even imagine what I am going through. That's all I want my mom to say. Instead I get relax which usually does the opposite. I guess I just need to accept that she doesn't have pearls of wisdom nor does she really know how to express herself.

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

I'm sorry! My mom isn't the best at this either lol. Neither is dh for that matter, if i hear "everything is going to be fine" one more time Everyone says the same things and its soooooooooo frustrating!!!!! Just makes it worse when I hear those things. I agree though, it's just something to say when you really don't know what else to say I guess.

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

Posted by PhyllisNJoe



She probably just doesn't know what else to say. That's what EVERYONE says. I still get it from people and now I just nod and say yeah you're probably right. I can't deal with saying it has nothing to do with relaxing, not holding my legs up, drinking wine, taking or not taking my vitamins/green tea and every other thing people tell you to do.

It helps to surround yourself with those who understand. These boards can be very helpful for that.

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

I'm sorry. A lot of people just don't know what to say, but I'm sure it stings even more when it's someone close to you who doesn't seem to understand.

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

I'm sorry that she said this to you. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have been told "it'll happen when you stop trying" Really??? Are you going to magically tell me that my body will start producing eggs on?!?!

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

my mom said last weekend that its probably a psichological problem
yes apparently some shrink therapy will solve all of my issue
I love my mom to pieces but unless u went thru this journey u really dont understand, sometimes to the point of what u shld and shldnt say. and agreed with everyone else that sometimes not knowing what to say makes u put ur foot in ur mouth especially if ur trying to console someone

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

I am sure she means well, but I can totally understand your frustration. I think this is something a lot of ladies experiencing IF loathe!

Re: I just can't even believe it - vent

Sorry this cycle was a bust. She really probably has no idea what to say to make you feel better. People who haven't experienced infertility don't get it. I couldn't imagine the things my mom would say if I told her what we are going through. She so wouldn't get it. Hang in there.