insecuritires hinder my excitment

just a vent.
i was over weight all my life. past few years it got REAL out of hand. my goal was to lose 100lbs. over the course of a year i lost around 50 give or take the day. i was happy and started to actually see a change, but still had progress to make.

now that im PG im gaining it back. I KNOW this is normal and I KNOW its healthy but its so hard. its so hard seeing numbers i swore i would never see again. its almost depressing.
(mind you, i expected to gain weight, and know its the way to go, its just hard)

also, ive spent all my life trying to hide my weight. baggy clothes, dark colors, etc and actively hiding my stomach as best i can in how i sit, how i take pictures etc. Now when people talk about PG their natural reaction is to look at my stomach. It kills me. I am SOOOO uncomfortable. I hate when DH tries to hug me or touch it although i cant and dont say anything but i almost hit my SIL this weekend because she went to go touch it.

its so hard because people dont understand. "if you wanted to lose weight all your life , you would have. you had to been okay with it until recently so whats the big deal?" its like they think because i just started losing wight, i just started caring. not that i just finally figured out what worked for me and it clicked.

i dont know its just so hard. i was to be happy about this process but find myself avoiding conversations in person to avoid the looks to my stomach and im in tears being back in my fat pants. i refuse to buy maternity when my old clothes fit again. I was keeping them as motivation and now, they are worn.

thanks for listening

insecuritires hinder my excitment

I'm so sorry. You are not alone. I lost 17 pounds right before I got pg. All that weight has come back. I'm a little depressed about that. I wish I could be proud of my body. It took a long time for me to get pg. I know I'll embrace my belly in time.

Just trust your body. You lost 50 lbs on your own. That's great. You can do that again. That's what works for me. I know I'll be back to weight watchers after the baby comes.

Re: insecuritires hinder my excitment

First of all, you are not alone! I was between a 14/16 when I got pregnant, just started losing weight, then found out I was pregnant. i did continue to lose during the first trimester but it was so hard for me to see the numbers creep back up. I got on the scale at the doctors office at 28 weeks and I was 200lbs, I lost it!! I know in reality I'm suppose to be this weight, but it's hard to see the 2, I was down 3lbs at my 32 week appt at 197, but I know it'll go back up next appt. I love my belly, It's finally a baby bump and super cute!! I hope you get there!

My advice is to throw those "fat" clothes away and buy some maternity clothes, trust me, they are sooooo different! And they make you feel like a million bucks!! I actually a few pairs of xxl pants if you want them, don't know if they would fit you, but they were given to me and are just too big....

insecuritires hinder my excitment

As pp poster said throw the bigger clothes away. Maternity clothes are such much more flattering and make you feel pregnant not fat. I hate same issue. I lost 25 pounds due to morning sickness in the beginning and when I started to fit back into my bigger clothes I switched to maternity and I'm so glad I did. You don't look heavy like you would in bigger clothes but you will look pregnant and that's a huge difference.

Re: insecuritires hinder my excitment

Pregnancy is not easy! Gaining weight is so hard for women as it is and pregnancy hormones certainly don't help the situation. Vent away here because we all get it!!!