My DH and I argue over my 3 1/2 yo and disiplining ?

Well I have a hard one for you ...

My 3 1.2 year old little boy Joseph is the apple of my eye and I wont lie can do no wrong in my eyes ...

My DH and I are constent at each other b.c I can not see him cry and I can not be a discipline area for him ..
My DH says that he can not see our son running our house ...

Example; Today he wanted to ride his scooter in the house but this is after it has been everywhere outside including the park . So when I heard him crying I was ready to clean the wheels so he can ride it in the house instead my DH took the scooter and put it outside and my son was crying for about 20 minutes.
Was I wrong to want to give in ?
I am such a softly to him.

And my DH doesnt help b.c then he is screaming so loud I dont even want to be in the house and I have spoken to my DH tme and time again that he jsut cant start screaming like a mad man in front of our son .

What can I do to help this situation better it seems like everytime my DH and I are home together it happens ...

Message edited 8/21/2006 11:14:01 PM.

Re: My DH and I argue over my 3 1/2 yo and disiplining ?

DH and I had trouble at first with finding a common ground. Both of you should make a list of what rules you want your son to have. On ours there were the obvious things, like back talking, hitting, pinching, etc. Then make sure that the rules on the agreed upon list are ALWAYS enforced. This will establish some consistency, and pretty soon your son will know not to break those rules. Then, agree with your DH not to question the reasons your son is getting disciplined until it is just you and DH. Doing this really helped us, because DH no longer felt like I was undermining his authority in front of our children. I think your DH might have gotten so upset with you because he felt like you were not showing your son a united front.

Re: My DH and I argue over my 3 1/2 yo and disiplining ?

I think you need to sit down and talk about your discipline styles when your child is not around and there are no current issues happening in the moment- so you are both calm.

In my opinion, your child does need to know there are limits and that every time he cries, it isn't going to lead to him getting his way. Its hard to do but a must for him or you will end up with a tyrant on your hands.

But your husband screaming and yelling in front of your son about your style with your son is not the way to go- you both need to sit down and discuss what you would like to see happen in terms of discipline style and reach certain agreements. If your son finds out that the two of you don't agree, he will use that against you later on.

Re: My DH and I argue over my 3 1/2 yo and disiplining ?

Thank you so much for youre advise I will take you up on the ideas and try them tonoght and hopefully it will work out.


Keep them coming Ladies I need all the help I can get !!!

Re: My DH and I argue over my 3 1/2 yo and disiplining ?

I believe that displine must be a team effort, or else it doesn't work and in many ways is unfair to the child. If the scotter is an outside toy, then it is an outside toy. And if your husband puts it outside and then you bring it inside it doesn't help your son understand the rules. KWIM?
I happen to agree with your husband..children should not run a house. They need stable rules and fair displine.
There are some things I interfere with- there is NO spanking or hitting in my house. Scott doesn't believe in it either, but if he did that would be a HUGE problem for us. We probably would not have gotten married to be honest because that is just not something i would ever allow. But if Scott tells Molly that she can't have something I don't go against him and vice versa.