* QOTD 9/15 *

Did your parent(s) have a parenting style that as an adult you said to yourself- I am not doing that when I have kids?

For me, my mom babied us soooooooo much. I mean, I'm 37, and she still does it. When I got old enough to understand that it was having a negative impact on my life, I said I would never do that when I have kids.

How about you?

Re: * QOTD 9/15 *

my parent's were great parents, but they did favor one of us over the others, and it was apparent to everyone except themselves. There have been times where other family members would call them out on it, arguments would arise, and then we wouldn't go to the next family gathering.

they still do it to this day, but I just don't even let it bother me anymore. It is what it is. They only thing I can do is love all of my children unconditionally, and EQUALLY

Re: * QOTD 9/15 *

My father died suddenly when I was 12 and my sister was about to turn 17.

For me, I felt like my mom would ground me a lot so that I was forced to stay home. I think it was easier for my mom to keep track of me and not worry if she knew that I was home.

I missed out on a lot of things in high school because I was always forced to stay home.

I understand why she did it but I wish that she was honest with me and herself and just told me the truth - that she preferred if I stayed home because she knew that I was safe.

So I guess I would say that I probably wouldn't overuse "grounding" because it definitely caused a lot of resentment and turmoil between my mom and I.

I also felt when my dad was alive that he was the "good cop" and my mom was the "bad cop" so when our DD is acting out, I always try to get DH to reinforce what I'm saying so I don't always feel like the bad guy. I'm hoping with enough conditioning DH will start to do it on his own.

Re: * QOTD 9/15 *

I have to say that I respect my their parenting style and would probably go about it the same! They were not too strict, but strict enough, maybe they made us work hard for everything we wanted so that we were not spoiled and it taught us a great sense of responsibility, later would reward us for our hardwork with something that we had no idea they planned to help is with.

Re: * QOTD 9/15 *

On the whole, my parents were good parents but there were some things I swore I would never do and so far, since having my DD, I've stuck to that.

My Dad's first reaction to everything was to yell. Didn't ask what happened or what you were thinking or how you were feeling..........he just yelled. Adding to that, in general, he isn't a good listener. He ALWAYS wants to be the one talking and he's the same way now even though I am 36 years old. He is a TOTAL lecturer, he just goes on and on and on and talks AT you, not with you. I swore when I had kids I would listen to them, converse with them, and respect their ideas and opinions.

My Mom is a COMPLETE worry wart!! I swear, she worries about EVERYTHING and on top of that, she's a total hypochondriac. It drives me CRAZY!!!! Her whole life is spent worrying about the "worst case scenario". I swore when I had kids that I wouldn't be crazy and freak out over every little single thing and so far............I am pretty good with that. I am easy going and relaxed with my DD. I only worry when there is an ACTUAL reason to worry.

Re: * QOTD 9/15 *

for the most part, i really hope to follow in my parents footsteps. they were/are amazing parents.
the one thing that i would like to do differently though... is that they weren't/aren't very affectionate people. i'm close with my mom, and know my parents love me - but there's really no saying it, no hugging, crying together etc. it makes me feel lonely sometimes... and when i see other mother/daughter moments filled with emotion... i definitely want for that.
dh comes from an even more unemotional/unaffectionate family than i... and he takes after his family, whereas i do not. so this may be a challenge