I guess we were't on the same page

At the sound of clomid, insemination and especially semen analysis, DH says: "why so artificial? I don't think I want to do all that". He feels we should just keep trying naturally. Don't know if I should be sad, upset or what.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

How long have you been trying on your own?
And if you don't mind me asking - how old are you?
I think those would be important factors.

Maybe you can get him to agree that if you don't become pregnant after 6 more months of trying on your own then you can try those other things???

Hope u feel better.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

I think that is a normal reaction for many men. DH was like that but went along with whatever I wanted to do. It was very little work for DH....he gave his samples at home so there was none of the "I dont want to do it in an office bathroom".

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

I agree with the PP, but if you have been trying for a while, then the sound of all of those things at one time could be extremely overwhelming for him. I would try talking to him a little more to see how he really feels about everything and go from there.

Hope everything works out for you!

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Dh had the same exact reaction the first month. Then he started going to all the doctors appointments with me and learning how hard it would be to do it naturally and now he's more used to the idea.

Sometimes they just dont fully understand

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Luckily my dh was ok with moving to an RE but for some men its scary. Dh does all samples at home so there is never the pressure of doing anything in the office. Also maybe if you could get dh to the re, the Dr can explain the process to him and your odds of conceiving with and without intervention, maybe those statistics will help sway him.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

thanks for the support.
I'm going to be 33 next month and I've been off the pill since last november (8 months). We have a 3 year old so Dh feels like there shouldn't be a problem. I do have PCOS and my Dr. seems to think that it was very lucky that it happened easily the first time. I'll give it a few more months and see how it goes.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

its def hard for anyone to have to go through the testing and hearting the dignosis but if it what u have to go through then thats the journey kwim?

do u ovulate on your own?

maybe talk to your doc about timed intercourse as oppose to going straight to iui

either way i would not waste too much time..i wish i could have the months back where we either winged it or were not getting the help me needed

best of luck

also also want to add and i think it si so important..talk to your dh..ttc is so stressful,esp when u dont haver the same path as the norm..so important to say how u r feeling,what u r feeling and take out the frustration

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

My DH feels the same way, but he also understands we will probably never get pregnant naturally.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

DH had that reaction when we started talking about IUI. The meds not so much, but the term Aritifical Insemination turned him off. We sat down and had a long conversation. We had been trying on our own for about 1.5 years, so we both knew something was wrong. Like Cateyemm said, once he started learning the in's and out's he became more comfortable, and knows that in order to have our LO we have to do what we have to do. Hopefully this was just his initial reaction, give him some space and let him think about it. Then talk and lay out everything that you already know and explain that is just a different way of having a baby. It is still your egg, it is his sperm and ultimately it will be YOUR child. GL!!

Message edited 8/9/2011 12:59:57 PM.

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

my DH was also not on board with the idea of having to do anything but to have a baby. At one point he was saying it would make him feel like less of a man if he couldnt produce a baby the old fashioned way...But after he saw how disappointing it was to try month after month he was more willing to do whatever we needed to conceive.

We have been TTC since Oct of 2010. This month i have my first appt with an RE and DH has been very supportive recently. Your DH probably just needs more time to adjust to the idea, especially with one baby already he will need extra time to be convinced

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Re: I guess we were't on the same page

Sorry, it's really difficult when you have a plan in mind and suddenly realize DH's not on board. Sometimes they really need to understand the reason behind doing all these things. IF is not something that's discussed openly... so oftentimes men are really surprised to learn what has to go into it sometimes.
Its ok to be sad, upset and all of those things that come along with it. Unfortuantely, it's part of the journey.
Wishing you lots of luck!