Why does good news make me feel worse?

I'm sure there is at least 6 of you out there that feel my pain. And I'm sure there's a bunch that wanna smack me in the face. I don't blame you, really.

Last night, I found out SIL is preggo with number 2. We knew, when I bring her favorite bottle of wine and she doesn't have one glass, and then she brings my nephew out from his nap and he's wearing a shirt that says "Big Brother".

I really have to work on hiding my face a little better - Congratulation's didn't leave my mouth, "Oh, Cool!". It's one of those moments you wanna come out of your body just to smack it around, it sounded so rude. I didn't mean it.

DH didn't sound excited either, maybe because he saw my face. I cried the entire way home from the city. Today is CD25, I'm pretty sure I ovulated from day 20-24 (I have figured out I'm later in my cycles and I used an OPK pack).

My other SIL has the same issues with me except she has a desease that really messes with her reproductive area. I haven't spoken to her yet to see if my other SIL called to tell them, but I'm sure she feels just as worse, but has a lot more tact that I do..... Me and her have been sharing tips non stop.

I feel terrible that I didn't get excited as I did when she was with number 1 (maybe because I wasn't trying for now, 7 months). I feel really terrible that I can't feel excited for anyone and that is not like me. I was through the roof for my first nephew - even though I wasn't even engaged to DH yet. I didn't get excited until SIL called me Aunt Jess - again, before I was engaged.

What is wrong with me?

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Nothing is wrong with you.. you are hurting inside. Its ok to not always jump for joy for others your day will come..

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're frustrated, and that's understandable. Sometimes you also have a lot of other things going on, or on your mind, that can effect your mood or attitude.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Im like you I can't hide the way I feel especially when I'm caught off guard just know that you are not alone and it will happen for you it just may take a little longer than you hoped! ( I should listen to my own advice ha!)

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

There is nothing wrong with you at all. What your feeling is completly normal. I would feel the same exact way. Please, my SIL told me she is going to start ttc in the summer and it's kinda freaking me out if it happens for her first since we have been trying.

Your feelings are normal.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Don't feel bad, I feel like if one more person I know comes out and tells me they are pregnant I may jump in front of a car...

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Nothing is wrong with you It's 100% normal to feel down when you've been trying to have a baby of your own and someone else is on #2.

Just keep it up. Soon your day will come!

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

I feel your pain. I'm surrounded by preggos and I want to be one.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

It is ok to feel the way you do - your feelings are not wrong. I had a similar thing happen with a friend recently, I had an idea she was preggo and all of our friends knew and nobody told me because b/c I am struggling with IF. It hurt when I found out that everyone knew for about a month plus the sadness that I felt hearing someone;s good news when I have been trying for so long


Just wanted to add that I like you cried and cried after my friend told me her news, my DH told me that I shouldn't feel guilty for the way I felt and that helped me not feel so cr@ppy about it.

Message edited 1/31/2011 5:44:42 PM.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

i'm the same way... no matter what comes out of my mouth, you can tell what i'm really feeling inside by the look on my face. and when caught off-guard like that, i'm 100% sure i would have reacted the same way... so i don't think - and i don't think anyone else here thinks - that something is 'wrong' with you. it's easier said than done, but have faith - your day WILL come too. and i'm sure SIL will understand that this isn't an easy time for you right now.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

i can absolutely relate to this! I feel so bad for the way I respond when I hear that someone else is pregnant, I cannot hide it- I am sad and jealous and it makes me so angry that I react like that but I cannot help it. I want to be happy for them, because i would want them to be happy for me. but it is so hard right now.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

We have been trying for a year and I had a tragic 2nd tri loss in that time, AND going through infertility treatments. When I see my dh's cousins new baby, I cry EVERY TIME

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

There is nothing wrong w/you , it is natural

Does she know you are trying? If she does I am sure she felt bad telling you .My SIL and brother are trying and it was so hard for me to tell them we were pregnant.

OF COURSE they are thrilled for us, but DH and I felt so bad bc we know they are trying and want a baby also.

Message edited 1/31/2011 6:28:54 PM.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

nothing is wrong..i promise..

i have been trying since some girls were on this board and they ave now had the kid..everyone around me is preggo and yes i wont lie i have my days where it hurts and it suucks..but u have to look for other days and know that it will happen for you too..

also..sometimes we forget that we dont know the struggle the couple may have had to get there..i mean if i announced i was preggo tomorrow noone would know it took us almost a year,lost a babay in between and had to concieve this one through iui..

its hard,i know but we get through it

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Thanks ladies.

Yeah, they knew we've been trying for a while, they mentioned at christmas they are soon going to try for number 2. and what you know? so quick.

my other SIL that's got the harder time has been trying longer than me. she asked me today how I felt and I told her the truth, and she said she felt the same way, however since her and I both think we had our cycles wrong for a while anyway, we kind of feel better.

I still have some hope for this month. I have had pelvic cramps and I did 2 new things this month so I'm kinda hoping I found my window.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Im sure more than 6 of us feel the same way you do. Im sorry for what you're experiencing but we've all been there.

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

AWww -I feel your pain.

I found out two friends were pregnant this weekend and burst out in tears both times. (Not to their face, it was over the phone and I didnt cry till after we were done talking). I was a sobbing mess, esp bc one of them was a surprise and they werent even trying. This just killed me. Ofcourse I am happy for them but I cant help the little hurting in my heart, you know? And the questions…why is it easier for some more so than others!!!!??????????

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

Posted by NotSoSureYet

AWww -I feel your pain.

I found out two friends were pregnant this weekend and burst out in tears both times. (Not to their face, it was over the phone and I didnt cry till after we were done talking). I was a sobbing mess, esp bc one of them was a surprise and they werent even trying. This just killed me. Ofcourse I am happy for them but I cant help the little hurting in my heart, you know? And the questions…why is it easier for some more so than others!!!!??????????

Re: Why does good news make me feel worse?

It's totally understandable

I felt the same way at a certain time too