Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

So I posted here how we were all geared up to start our 2nd IVF cycle for baby #2 next month but we have decided to wait once again.

We are with NYU and DH said he feels uncomfortable with them. I went for my IVF class last Thursday and DH expressed that he didn't have a good feeling about it. We actually had an argument because I took it like he didn't want to do this and he doesn't want another baby. He told me No thats not the reason..he just doesn't feel right about it now and with NYU.

Actually I was feeling somewhat uneasy too but I decided to bury it down deep inside. I just thought it was normal fears, etc. I actually did a post on here a few months ago asking if it's normal to have more fear TTC #2 than the 1st and most of the Moms said the 2nd time was easier. IDK.

So I prayed about it before I left for the class...I asked God for a sign specifically a sign when I got to the class. The class went on and when the billing person came out to talk to us she mentioned that although I have $20K lifetime coverage I have a 20% copay that I have to pay upfront..Ummm what? With my first cycle all I had to pay was copays. Anyways that was my sign because although it's not an astronomical amount of $$ it's enough right now that DH and I don't feel comfortable shelling it out especially since we have bills and owe the IRS

So in short that was my sign. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I know plenty of people don't have any coverage and I already have DD which I am grateful for but my heart longs for more DCs. I guess right now is not the right time.

IDK how I feel....part of me feels a little relieved....I feel like everything was me obsessing about getting pregnant so I feel like I can focus on other things right now like paying the IRS and my family but the other part feels sad especially since so many around me IRL and here on LIF who have kids around DDs age or younger are working on #2 or already have #2. I feel left behind in a way...oh well

DH also mentioned that we should try naturally for now and see what happens. I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for listening

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

You know what...if DH just had a "feeling" and you kept that same "feeling" hidden down deep, I'm sure you did the right thing. Go with your gut feeling. I also think that a break from this TTC madness can do wonders. When you come off of your break you will have a fresh perspective and hopefully a new center/Dr that you have no doubts about. GL to you!!

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

I agree with the pp's, sometimes all you have to go on is your gut. Things have a way of working themselves out. Who knows, maybe you'll come on here one day and surprise us with the always loved "We just relaxed and it happened!" Good luck and if you eventually have to go through IVF it will be with te right doctor that both you and DH feel comfortable with.

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

I agree with everyone else. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. If you both had a bad feeling then it was not the right time or place for you guys. It sounds like a break could do you a lot of good. IF is hard on us and maybe after a break, once you find the right place, you'll feel less stressed about working on #2.

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

don't feel sad. when the time is right you and your DH will know and you will start trying again.

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

For me ttc #2 was so much harder then #1. We jumped right into it when DS was 9 months and had a failed cycle. I decided I was done with one. Tried again a few months later, chemical. I was done for sure. Tried again a year later, chemical. I said one more cycle, no meds, then I was 100% done. Now I'm pregnant and this IS what I want, I just hate the process. So I totally get what you're feeling. We only had to do FET's, but if we had to do a fresh IVF cycle I think I'd have a much harder time jumping back in. Good luck with your decision, I think you'll know when the time is right for both of you. Maybe making some appointments for consults at other places would be a good start?

Re: Taking a "break"....sort of vent...LONG

I think you made the right decision by following your gut. For this process you need to be in 100% in it for your own sanity and for it to truly work. Go for a few consults and find someone you are comforatable with.