Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

So, this past Sunday I had to bring my car in for some unexpected work to get done. I had put aside money for this week for my husband and I to go to AC and also to do some activities with my daughter since we're off from school, so I decided that rather than dip into savings for my car, I'd use the money that we were supposed to go away with, cancel our trip and try to have a week at home. I felt like that money was going to get thrown away, literally, in AC and my daughter and I could entertain ourselves at home instead of going out everyday to lunch and play places.
We also have another baby on the way that we need to buy things for, so I really didn't want to touch our savings. That being said, I decided to really see what we could do without this week. I've made dinner every night, haven't made any extra trips to the stores for anything we really don't need, etc.
Omg, I've totally realized that I'm a spendaholic. The urge to go out and spend money on ridiculous things is so powerful that I am actually annoyed when I tell myself to skip it if I really don't need it! I'm so completely shocked by my horrible spending habits that I cannot even believe I've been throwing money away for so long! I mean, hubby and I both make good money and we don't struggle, but I'm really realizing how much more we could be putting into savings if I wasn't so free with my spending all the time.
I've really realized that I'm an instant gratification person. For example, I'm getting ready to make dinner in a couple of minutes. I'm making turkey meatloaf with cauliflower and I wanted potatoes with it. We have no potatoes, so my first instinct was to run to the store and buy them. I went so far as to get ready to go out and grabbed my keys and had to stop myself because I was seriously going to go to the store for potatoes when I could easily just make rice. And lord knows if I went to the store for potatoes, I'd inevitably pick up something else we don't actually need or want.
I don't really know what the point of me posting this is, but I guess I'm just horrified by my spending actions. And I've also realized what pressure I get from my family to spend money, too. My mom keeps calling and wanting to know why I haven't taken my daughter out to any play places or why I don't just go out to dinner or to see if I want to go shopping, etc. And when I tell her I'm trying to cut back on our spending, she doesn't get it and gives me a guilt trip Same with my dad. And my friends. And it just seems like I am just making such poor money decisions lately, and this week has been a wake-up call for me! I could have so much more money in the bank!
Anyway, I just needed to get that out bc I'm sitting here actually feeling this horrible itch to go out and spend money right now, and I guess this is my way to get it out of my system!
So, is anyone else a spendaholic? Or am I the only idiot?

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

when it comes to eating out I am a spendaholic! i have nto bought a stitch of maternity clothes, no clothes for DS or DH BUT I always want to either go out to eat or order in. it's terrible! My DH says we should stop eating out,so Im like yeah I know! lets go have IHOP :) or , darn we only have x amount in checking. Lets have SUSHI!! I enjoy it so much I can't give it up. Besides that I'm such a cheap Azz

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I can relate a lot. We are a pretty frugal couple but I still find myself spending $$$$$ all the time on stuff we do not need at all. And it's ALWAYS food related it seems.

One weekend I decided to try not spending $$$$$$ on anything, and it was so cool to see how much control I could have.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

i totally hear you..

some days i will just be home with DS and the mood hits to go to Target.

I ask myself, "What do I need?"

and i struggle to come up with an answer...until I start saying , "Well...I could get another comforter, the one I have now is old...."

and then it just happens - I am in Target spending money.

It's good your realize this and are making changes.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I am a bona fide shopaholic. Before losing my job, my DH's business failure and the recession, I was a regular at Saks, Bloomies, Bergdorf, etc. I bought for the sake of buying as I loved the thrill of new things. Clothes were my passion, handbags, shoes.

Then reality hit and when we sit and do our budget, it was amazing to see the excess.

We are doing so much better nowadays, but we have a baby on the way in a little over a week-the days of spending just because are over. I cannot believe the restraint I've had since I am having a girl.

I've learned to be a picky shopper-instead of buying everything, I try to think what one thing I really will use and need. If I can use what I have, I do. I have enough clothing to fill an entire room in my house easily. And that is after donating.

The one positive, huge positive, I took from this economy and the position my DH and I found ourselves in was how to make use of what we have, how not to take for granted what we have, how there is a distinct difference between what we "need" and what we "want". I've learned that having a roof over my head and food on my table is an accomplishment and so much more important than the new Manolo Blahniks-I am not knocking those who shop, but it is no longer my reality. I watched an amazing episode of Dr. Phil with the OC Housewives-right after Lynne Curtin was evicted from yet another house and he really said things that hit home-you don't sacrifice your family's health and comfort for material possessions, and half of the things you think you need you probably don't.

I've also learned to shop smart in the supermarket-I go through our cabinets before making a shopping list, planning meals based on things I have already and what is on sale that week. We really maximize our dollar at the food store.

I refuse to use credit anymore and it is hard, but it really makes you stick with what you need. I cannot believe how wasteful I was when I just spent on credit and never thought twice about it.

Thanks for posting this Rach!

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I am so guilty of bad shopping habits. It truey is like I just can't stop myself. I was meeting friends for lunch yesterday and they were running late. I managed to spend $75 in Baby Gap in about 15 minutes- just because. DS did not need two new pairs of pants, a new sweater and a new pirate bathing suit. I couldn't help it. And stuff for the house is another huge weakness for me. I can justify buying things for the house and it prevents me from buying anything for myself.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I'm not a spendaholic, but I am also on spending break at the moment. Mainly because, like you, I spent a heck of a lot of money on my car this month (it needed a new clutch, a service and there were some other little things that (according to my husband) were caused by my bad driving (as if) so I spent 3/4 of this months paycheck on my car. Now on one hand, I am happy that I paid cash rather than put the cost on my card, because I just started a loooong maternity leave and in about 2 months, my paycheck will go down to what statuatory maternity pay is here...Oh yeah, and we also just had a bathroom refurb that we paid cash for, so that has taken us down a bit!

However, this now means that because I am skint until next payday, I am afraid to leave the house, because leaving the house means spending money that I don't have at the moment...so, like you, I am on a spending break!

Lets hope it goes well for all of us!!!

Rach, I do the same thing. Yesterday I decided I wanted to make a recipe, so I had to go out and buy all the ingredients. My job for being on Mat leave this time is to spend only about £40 (thats like $75) a week on groceries, with minimal top ups. Buy more store brands, and try to plan meals better!!!

Message edited 2/19/2010 6:05:48 PM.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I am a reformed spendaholic

I had no choice- amex cut me off and I am 2/3 done paying them off now- I am not taking my card back and if I do in a moment of weakness I am asking for a low limit of $1k (from about $40k)

I know they cut me down to $7k- but even that is too much for me

I was a credit card addict

but now I get a thrill from paying them off

I get my thrills now from getting good deals and bargin hunting

I really haven't been spending money and after a while you get used to it

I learned so much this year about myself- I am so glad I had to go thru all this and I am going to be in a much better place because of it

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Ever since last year I have been downsizing my spending.

We are in a different place. The recession kicked it off and DH's job loss propelled it.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I was when I was younger. When I lived with my parents, I bought whatever I wanted. He11, I worked and paid no rent, so why the eff not?

When I moved out (granted, I was only 21) I was a firm believer in "retail therapy" and that was a BAD year for me, so I used a lot of CCs.

I had to stop doing it. DH and I have always had our ups and downs with money, and since I've been laid off, I am very frugal with what I buy. I honestly don't even stock up anymore. I just buy what I need to when I need it, and I buy the variety that is on sale.

We have one CC for emergencies. It only has a $250 limit

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I have always loved to shop, but never to the point of running up CC debt, or on designer items. I have always used coupons and shopped sales. However, even at the lower level that I shop, I have cut back greatly since buying a house. I find that my problem is that if I DO go to shopping and see something that I like and that looks good on me, I have to buy it. If I just avoid the mall/stores, I'm okay (other than the occasional internet purchase). So, I now find myself at the mall MUCH less frequently, and I really try to go for only things that I NEED or have planned for. On those occasions, I might pick up a few other items, overall, I have cut back greatly.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I have been guilty of bad spending habits lately and its unreal! I never was like that..but sometimes it happens to the best of us.

DH and I drmatically dropped the amount we go out to bars and restaurants for the past month. I was shocked to realize we saved almost 600 by doing this. Just in a month! I'm almost ashamed it took this long for me to realize it.

Now that you know you want to save you will feel amazed at how you save after a few weeks.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Not a shopaholic, although I easily could be!

I'm kept in check by limited closet space in our small apt, and trying to stick to a budget. I'm used to living on one income and am trying not to get sucked in to having more $$$ now that I'm finally done with school and working...

but man, I went on one hell of a work-clothes shopping spree the week before i started my new job. got some good deals at Tanger, but i bought 2 suits (jacket, pants, skirt), a jacket, another pair of dress pants, 2 tops, 2 sweaters, a scarf and 2 belts... all in one store! i needed it but i had to scale it back for a whiiile after that!

Message edited 2/19/2010 6:42:12 PM.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Thanks, everyone for posting
I'm not a shopaholic, just a spendaholic. I don't buy a ton of items for the house or Ava or me or DH, we don't have designer clothes, I don't use credit cards, none of that, but I'm always spending money on something. Like, we have the week off, so my plans weren't to hang around the house that I pay an arm and a leg for, my plans were to run as far as I could from the house and take Ava to places that cost money: bounces places, lunch out, chuck e cheese, you name it. Because I have it so ingrained in me that I'm only being a good mom if I'm taking her out and about. And like I said, my mom is the one who pushes me to feel that way. And I've realized that Ava has learned to expect that I'm going to take her out and about. Again, I don't buy her toys, we don't go shopping per say, but we do go "out" and do things that cost money and it really adds up.
And all this time I'm sitting here thinking I do such a good job keeping me food shopping bill low, I've only come to realize that I'm not even counting the extra trip I seem to make every week to the store for things I just "want" and don't need. We ended up having a delicious meal tonight and it didn't require a single thing I didn't already have. I mean, sheesh, I couldn't fit one more thing in my freezer if I wanted to, but there I was, ready to go to the store.
So, I'm going to try like hell to keep myself close to home on weekends and after work and see how much extra I can save. I'm just sick of throwing money away!

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I also spnd on a whim. But I'm really trying to curb it. I have to say that a lot of our money is eating out. We still eat out, but I've really tried to minimize other money spent. Menu planning has really helped and I am really trying to limit our weekly groceries to $50/week. Like tonight, rather than spending over $20 on pizza, I made it for about $5. Things like that help us. It's hard though. I too like things instantly. But I'm finding that I'm asking myself if I really need it.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

It's my life story..... Can't you tell by all my posts on the 'recent purchases' thread on parenting?

I am A LOT better than I used to be. I pay cash/debit card for everything now. I learned my lesson years ago with CCs so I barely use them.

I just have so much shopping no matter where it is.

I think I just need a hobby that doesn't require shopping!

Message edited 2/19/2010 10:48:31 PM.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I learned in the first few months of Josh's life that I have a whole lot of free hours in my day to spend...

Now I spend close to nothing.

Library, parks, nature walks, playgroups. Once a month, I will pull out the chuck e cheese coupons...
free movies in the summer, picnic lunches down by the trains, tons of time spent at the pool...
I buy an amusement park pass at beginning of summer...we go 2 nights a week. Never bought a single thing to eat or drink there, we pack yogurt, pbj, and water.

DH's days off, we spend. I like to keep money aside for that. But I would be in the poor house quickly if I spent daily. Even 10.00 a day...300 a month. all adds up.

nicole...have my coupon ready...the pirate bathing suit is too much! i love it! I will stick it in his easter basket though to justify the cost

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I agree and get caught in the same bad behavior. I have gotten a lot better with it lately because I am realizing that paying off my debt is way more stress-free. I never spent a lot, just spent a lot of times. I would buy things because it was 90% off and it was such a bargain.
And I agree 110% about the "instant gratification"!!! Our dishwasher broke a few years ago and our first thought was, lets go NOW and buy a dishwasher. We could have washed dishes by hand for a few weeks and saved the $, but no, we had to do it right away.
My husband and I call it "Smithtown-itis" . Meaning, our parents may have had the financial ability to buy a dishwasher at a moments notice, but we do not. And growing up that way has not helped either of us.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Posted by CouponMom

My husband and I call it "Smithtown-itis" . Meaning, our parents may have had the financial ability to buy a dishwasher at a moments notice, but we do not. And growing up that way has not helped either of us.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I love coupons. DSs school has this kidd stuff coupon book that they sell at the beginning of the year. Although it costs a little bit I use so many of the coupons in it that it really ends up being a great deal for me. The book costs $25 but there is $25 in coupons to shop right so anything I use after that is great $ off. I used it last year and calculated I saved $500 by using the book. I am beyond that for this year already.

I am brand specific and only get what I like, but I try to use coupons for everything and shop sales. It makes me feel good to pay the least I can for what I want.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

totally hear you. While I am cheap with clothes- and would feel guilty for a top over $15, the food is another story.

i got to the supermarket and will start picking up things that i dont need to get. i always seem to get more than i need to, some stuff just sits on the shelvs unused. mike finally snapped me out of buying the family pack of meat, because while the price may be good, i never cooked the whole package.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

I have to say that avoiding the keeping up with the Jones' mentality takes a lot of discipline but really makes a difference. I'm at the point where I ask myself if I REALLY need it in terms of clothes and shoes. It's time to start using what I have instead of getting something new.

This is really an eye opening thread.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

Ok, can I just say that since staying in and taking my spending break this week, my house is the cleanest it's been in a long arse time? When you here and in it all the time, it's much harder to accept the mess!
I've also decided to start an entertainment fund for the weekends and vacations that we have off. Nothing big, something to just maybe stuff change in and a twenty here or there and then not feel so guilty about taking Ava out every now and then for something that costs money.
I've also managed to make some really awesome meals using what we already have in the house, and I could probably go another 5 or 6 days without needing to go to the store at all (except for milk, which we ran out of this morning and I will be sending my husband to get so I don't buy anything we don't need ). So, I'm happy, it's good to get things done around here, clean, feel good about not spending, have the time to make nice meals for my family, etc. I'm definitely going to try to keep this going as much as I can.

Re: Taking a "spending break"...a vent about myself...

its awful! DH and i are going to sit down in the next few weeks and really figure out where our $$ is going, b/c its surely not in our pockets..LOL.

the first step is admitting there is a problem.