I am just so sad...

I am officially out again and I am so sad... I have so many thoughts going through my head and I feel like no one IRL even remotely understands where I am coming from. Literally every person in my immediate circle except for one either got pregnant on the first try or it was a "surprise". I know that is not the case a lot of time and maybe it was foolish of me to think it would happen right away but I hate that it is taking me longer than everyone else in my life. I feel like a failure. It sounds stupid to say but every month I get a BFN I feel like I am failing. Failing myself, my DH, my ILs (who desperately want a grandchild even though they would never come out and tell me that), and the list goes on...

I really only talk to two people about my TTC journey and when they try to comfort me it only makes me feel worse. My one friend just keeps saying "it will happen, just be patient" meanwhile she got pregnant in 2 seconds and my other friend keeps telling me I should get tested and making me feel like something is seriously wrong. I have only been trying for 3 months but I get nervous because my husband has epilepsy and he has to be on high doses of anti-seizure medication. His doctor seems to think it wont affect fertility but I have read otherwise online and it freaks me out.

DH tries to be supportive but he doesn't seem to share my sense of urgency to have a baby. He definitely wants one but he is definitely more patient than I am. I just fear that something is wrong with us and it's the not knowing that is really killing me.... If you got this far, thank you for reading. I don't think there is anything that could be said to make me feel better but it felt nice to put my feelings out there. I can't really share these thoughts with the people in my life and I appreciate being able to share them here.

Re: I am just so sad...

We all know how you feel, and nothing I can say will make you feel better. Although I did notice you said you were so worried that something was truly wrong, so why not talk to your OB/GYN? I always feel a thousand times better after I talk to my dr. I just called him last week because I was feeling frustrated, and he put me at ease.

Times are different now and there is an enormous amount of stress that comes along with TTC. Gone are the days of simply getting married, having fun, and not worrying! But we're here to listen, and it will make your BFP that much sweeter when it comes!

Re: I am just so sad...

Hang in there. I know that is easy to say but most people take 6 months to get pregnant. You have only been trying for 3 months. Also the more you stress about it the more it can effect ttc. Good luck. It is too early to get tested---most don't recommend getting tested until at least 6 months of really trying.

Re: I am just so sad...

First off

Second...I know its rough...before we ttc we never think its going to be this hard....dh and I are going on 7 months and after having a mc and being diagnosed with pcos these past months have been hard..but we r sticking it out and hoping and praying

Until u speak to a doc there is no reason to believe there is anything is wrong but if u r unsure go to doc...are u using opks and or temping? The days u r having sex could not be the most fertile

And I know this is not what u want to hear and I totally understand bc everyone around me is preggo but 3 months is not that long...it can take perfectly healthy couples 6 months to a year

Don't lose hope and I hope u get ur bfp soon!!

Re: I am just so sad...

awwwww don't get so down... i know it's hard but try to be positive

Re: I am just so sad...

Hang in there! I understand how you feel. I always felt that everyone around me was getting married and then having babies and I always felt "left out" or frustrated that everyone else was getting what they wanted, but how come I couldn't. Then my Aunt said to me that life was my experience and my jounrney and not to worry about everyone else. Of course its hard to relax and be patient, but I think it is the best way. Also, it is great to come on these boards and not feel alone as well as being able to get your feelings off your chest.

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It is hard to be patient. THis past year TTC has been very difficult so I understand that you are sad! They say that positive thinking helps so try to do that even though it is hard.

Re: I am just so sad...

Thanks girls. I slept on it and I woke up feeling a lot better and more positive for next month. I know I have to be patient I guess what frustrates me the most is my friends trying to tell me what to do/how to feel when they have no clue what it's like. I know they are trying to help but it really doesn't so I guess I am going to keep my frustration to myself from now on.

I am going to give it another 2-3 months and if I still don't get a BFP DH is going to go for a SA. If it wasn't for the fact that he was on medication I would wait longer but since he is we would rather know if there are any issues sooner.

I have been using OPKs but this month I am going to start temping. Hopefully that will help us get a BFP next month!

Thank you again for your kind words. While I hope all of us get our BFPs very soon it is nice to know that other people are going through the same thing and are here for support.

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Ever since we started trying, I can list a handful of people who got pregnant and now have their babies. (people at work, etc) .. and I'm not even pregnant.

In that time, there were 4 1/2 months where I WAS pregnant.. but that just makes it even harder.

Don't pay attention to everyone around you. I know it's hard, but it's harder to view it as a competition and feel bad when it doesn't happen for you in any given month!

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Re: I am just so sad...

Hang in there. It's such a hard journey and people who aren't in it really don't quite get it.

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so sorry

Re: I am just so sad...

Right there with you. It sucks, but you have to keep on trying and have faith.

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Re: I am just so sad...

So sorry you are going through a rough time. I know how frustrating it can be when everyone around you is pregnant , but like you said it has been 3 months.....I know it is easier said then done but try not to worry , it can take a couple up until a year to get pregnant ( not that you want to hear that , but I hope it provides some comfort that it WILL happen )

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It's OK to feel the way you are feeling.

If you are concerned about DH medication... check out this site... safefetus.com It lists all sorts of medications that are safe for TTC and pregnancy. Also, you could contact an RE dr to ask them about it and possibly get tested for things.

However, having only tried for 3 months, I think you just need to give it more time. I wouldn't jump to say something is wrong with you after only 3 months of trying. Most RE's don't want to see you until you have been trying for 12 months... that's usually the mark that states there MIGHT be a problem. I know you have that one friend who tells you to be patient and that it will happen... I hate to repeat her, esp when you are feeling like you do... but I agree with her. Only 25% of women get pregnant each cycle. It's perfectly normal for it to take a little time. It took me about 9 months to get pregnant after my mc. And that was with trying just about everything I could try... and the sheer amount of times we is just unbelievable.

Keep trying... you will get there. And you should also look into Deanna's Plan.

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Hang in there! Keep the faith!!

Re: I am just so sad...

Re: I am just so sad...