Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by MABLE03

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by MABLE03

Posted by hazeleyes33

I personally could not let my dh work 2 or 3 jobs or tons of hours JUST so I could stay home.
I'm not here to insult anyone, but just stating how that would not work for my family. Thanks.

I think for every couple it is different. DH I agreed well before we had our son that we both grew up in homes with SAHMs and that it was very important for us to do the same.

We rather sacrafice - either by him working lots of hours, or us having to cut back on our lifestyle then have someone else raising our son.

I don't get this though because why is it ok for you to stay home with your child and your dh not be able to spend time with that child because he is working all the time? I hope you don't take this personally because I am not really directing it to you but all the families who think it is better for the woman to stay home while the man kills himself to pay the bills while she is having fun with the kids??
I personally think this is the reason why so many men are having heart attacks at such young ages, like 40. They believe that their wife at home is much better than daycare and are so stressed out to provide for them.
I personally have used daycare for almost 8 yrs and NEVER felt like they were raising my children. I work because I have to and both my dh and I get to spend lots of time with them because we work normal hours.

It is OK for me to stay home b/c that is what my husband and I agreed on. Its what makes US BOTH happy. Its sad to say but even if I worked the amount of hours my husband worked I would not be making anywhere near what he makes. And if you think my husband is at work killing himself while I stay home and "have fun with the kids" your nuts. I am cleaning, cooking, doing landry, taking care of my son when he is sick, or cranky, or when he gets hurt, I do all the shopping, take care of all the bills, and basically do EVERYTHING BUT BRING IN A PAYCHECK - I think that is far more valuable to my family then me going to work to make 30 or 40k a year - It would cost us more then that to hire someone to watch our child, clean the house, and do everything else that I do.

Second of all we are very fortunate that my DH can work WHAT A NORMAL WORK WEEK consists of - 5 days a week and 8 hour days and make enough money to support us.
the only reason he is working more right now is b/c something major is going on at work and everyone is working crazy hours.

LASTLY - Weather my Husband works normal hours or crazy hours I can honestly say he spends more quality time with our son then most fathers that work alot less or the same amount that he does!!!

Well said

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

I too chose to only go back to work 2 days a week after having my son. I was making $75k a year working FT and my DH makes close to $90K. Yes he has been working more OT since having Jacob and the fact that i only work 2 days a week hurts me more personally than it does US financially. I was just used to that money and it was hard to get used to. But on the days i work DH watches Jacob until he goes to work at 3pm.. so he has plenty of quality time with him. I think this whole topic is a very personal one and what works for you may not work for someone else. There is no right or wrong. It is what it is. And no one should be judged by what makes their family work or what makes their family happy. That is how wars start...

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

my hubby owns his own business, works tues-sat about 9-6 (sometimes later depending on the job) and has an apprentice that works for him so he pays a pretty substantial salary to this guy. I also work (p/t and have a private practice for a few hrs per week). In all we make a really nice living (my hubby makes more than any other high school graduate that I know, even more than I would make if I worked f/t and I have a masters degree), but we still struggle to make ends meet, it is expensive to live on LI . I could never make him work more, if anything i would uo my hrs or add more patients to my private practice.

ETA- My hubby stays home with the kids when I work, he's a work horse and a Mr. Mom

Message edited 6/23/2006 10:19:48 PM.

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

I don't think the amount of $ a husband or wife makes is really important. IMO each family makes the decision that works best for them at the time. If a man decides that working 3 jobs so his wife can be a SAHM and that works for them then fine. If both decide to work part-time so that they are both home with their children at different parts of the day then that is fine too. Whatever works for each family shouldn't be judged by others. JMO

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

Not a mom yet (but will be), but I thought I'd put in my 2 cents.

I work 80 hours/week and when I helped with my nephews when I was off, and I thought it was too hard. Similarly, my brother works his tooshie off and says it's easier than taking care of the kids.

My DH and I will each make over 100K each/year in a few years but neither of us plan on staying home because we love our jobs, went to school for a very long time for them (graduating in our 30's), and taking a year or 2 off can end it all.

I think I'm also one of the rare ppl that believe day care can be a great alternative and can be very good for a child's development. My mom agrees with us doing day care even though she will be the primary daytime caretaker after we have our 6 months to raise our baby full-time. She says it is too hard for her to do without it and she appreciates that it will keep everyone fresh. Now we just have to find a great day care place...

ETA: Everyone is different! If there was a "right way" it would be a law.

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:53:49 PM.

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

Dh dosent make 100k- and I consider myself a SAHM- because I work PT and early in the morning... so IM home pretty much the entire day....

There are several reasons why, we have the set-up we do.....

1. Its important to me to be home- Its what I want to do, more than anything....

2. What it would cost us to put DS in daycare full time (or all our kids in daycare- when we have more kids-god willing- in the future) would exceed what IM making

3. I intend to go to night school- and didnt want to juggle to much at once...


Part of the reason we are moving down south.... is to accomodate the lifestyle we want to live (which is allowing me to stay home for @ least most of the day)


Hopefully in the future- Ill get these last 4 credits out of the way- finish my degree- and when my child/children are in school- begin working FT, and be bringing in adecent salary....


I have no judgements towards working moms, or working dads...

Re: Spinoff of "DH's making over $100,000"

I too work 2 days a week(one of which is a Sat) while DH is home, the other my mother watches DD 4 hours until DH gets home. So I do also consider myself a SAHM. We are lucky to have a lovely home and live a nice lifestyle without compromising time spent with our DD. We all have very different standards to how we live. We do what we have to do. If a man wants to work 2 jobs to keep his DW home then its his choice. I cannot criticize how someone else is running their home..........

Message edited 6/24/2006 7:50:38 AM.