Just a vent

I'm having a bad day

I am due to get AF in exactly 1 week.

It feels like since I stopped bcps I have had a lot of light cramping with some moderate cramping here and there. I spotted two times this month, about a week apart - both times were very minimal, by the time I got a panty liner the spotting was gone.

I've been really tired. (I read that can be a symptom from stopping bcps, pms and of course pregnancy - whatever the case it's annoying to be so tired all the time!)

So last night I woke up to horrible cramps. I even had some pain in my vajayjay - like I remember getting when when I was a kid and had bad periods. The cramps were so bad that I couldn't fall back asleep. I figured this is it and I'm getting my period. I could have put money on it (especially since I have been SUPER crabby all week - a for sure sign in my book ).

At first I felt slightly disappointed but not like I thought I would feel - I thought I might be more emotional and bummed out that I didn't get pregnant but I was fine (I know realistically it's a slim to none shot but it's fun to daydream). I was actually kind of excited in a way because I felt like at least my body is working and I am getting a period. I figured since AF is one week early that means it will be 1 week earlier that we can TTC again.

But when I woke up nothing. This afternoon nothing. The cramps have subsided for the most part, my boobs aren't sore (they feel a little larger though), my underarms aren't sore, no headache, no other PMS symptoms except I am still tired and obviously emotional

The 2ww is really the worst It's not that I am even waiting for the "BFP" I just feel like I am waiting for something to happen. It's like as much as I want a BFP I also want AF because then I know I at least menstruated on my own and I know that is a good thing.

I think stopping bcps and the unknowns about my cycle is just as stressful as the wanting to get pregnant.

I don't know why I am writing this. I guess I am just looking to hear someone say it's okay and that they have been here too.

Sorry for the venting, I just had to get it out.

Re: Just a vent

It's totally normal, you are just more in tune with your body than you have ever been before. Before I'd get a stomach ache and think nothing of it, now I'm convinced it means something. Also, I see so many people, myself included, who start talking about symptoms at 1 dpo, when in reality, the HCG hormone isn't released till after implantation. We are all crazy and it is totally normal!!!!!!

Re: Just a vent

i totally know what u are going through. my cycles havent been regular since i got off bcp (esp at fiand its really frustrating not knowing whats going on with your body. last month was our first month ttc but we were just winging it. by the end of the cycle i was dying...i just wanted either bfp or AF to show so i could just start a new cycle.

i know its frustrating, but try not to worry!

Re: Just a vent

Posted by letsmakeababy

i totally know what u are going through. my cycles havent been regular since i got off bcp (esp at fiand its really frustrating not knowing whats going on with your body. last month was our first month ttc but we were just winging it. by the end of the cycle i was dying...i just wanted either bfp or AF to show so i could just start a new cycle.

i know its frustrating, but try not to worry!

Re: Just a vent

i am feeling exactly the same!! not that i'm expecting to get a BFP and i def would not be upset if did but can something just happen already?

waiting is sooo not fun

Re: Just a vent

Posted by 01ellie

i am feeling exactly the same!! not that i'm expecting to get a BFP and i def would not be upset if did but can something just happen already?

waiting is sooo not fun

Re: Just a vent

Posted by BABYblues2010

Posted by 01ellie

i am feeling exactly the same!! not that i'm expecting to get a BFP and i def would not be upset if did but can something just happen already?

waiting is sooo not fun

ITA I feel the same way....

Re: Just a vent

Posted by Nik211

Posted by BABYblues2010

Posted by 01ellie

i am feeling exactly the same!! not that i'm expecting to get a BFP and i def would not be upset if did but can something just happen already?

waiting is sooo not fun

ITA I feel the same way....

at least we aren't alone - we have eachother to complain too since we are all in the same boat

Re: Just a vent

Ugh, it's so annoying right??

It's so hard to not know what's going on! And just waiting for something to happen is the worst!

It will all be worth it in the end though!

Re: Just a vent