To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

who keep the hope and dont give up. I admire you. I go for my beta friday but I woke up this morning with a headache and a pressing feeling that i had to POAS.. BFN Usually a migraine like headache is my que that AF is on her merry way. I am so upset. This is 9dp 3dt. I dont know if its too early to test but one bold line showed. Ripping my hope out of my body. This is my 2nd fresh cycle in a row but only the first resulting in 1 single good emby. I feel wiped out.
I have to applaud your strength and determination, the ladies I see that have been thru so much more than me and have had losses and surgery and I wish I could have the strength you have.
I dont know what was harder for me hearing I had zero good eggs after my 1st retrieval or knowing #2 they got 1 egg only & luckily fertilzed but seemingly failed to take. I am trying to make sense of it and am looking for something other than sometimes it happens. I have so many questions and wonder if I should change RE's. I wonder if this could be a false neg and I am going to get good news on Friday but I doubt it. Today was like a cruel joke that everywhere I looked there were pregnant ladies, people showing pics of their newborns or conversations of having kids. It was unavoidable like I was getting it from all angles. I cried all the way home from work.
I am happy for all the new BFP that have been happening and hopefully I one day can be one of them. Until then Im going on a break.

9/3 the beta was neg. I also found out that a 12cell 3dt is abnormal so the chances of it resulting in a healthy preganancy was bad. I have a follow up to see where Im at but I think I am calling RSONY for a second opinion. Even if it costs me $$ with no ins coverage.

Thank you for the hugs and prayers. Maybe 3 times a charm.

Message edited 9/3/2010 7:25:12 PM.

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I am so sorry

I wish I could offer you more than that but I am just beginning my journey on this board so I cannot classify myself as one of the stronger women since I haven't gone through nearly as much as some. I do admire you and the other ladies on here who are already great mommies because you are fighting so hard for a child you haven't met yet.

Please stay strong and keep the faith. You never know what tomorrow might bring for you

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I hope you do get a BFP you may still you never know what the beta will say. I am sending many your way!

I know how you feel though about pregnant woman, babies and baby pictures all around. I work in Manhattan and every other person seems to be pregnant. I also work in HR and handle FMLA for the company and I probably get 2 applications per day of someone's wife who is pregnant and then they ask oh are you going to have kids. I put on a fake smile and say yes we want kids soon. Then when they leave I just want to cry.

I am sorry you have to go through this but I hope you get a postive Beta!

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I am sorry are feeling so down. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I agree, there are so many on this board that are inspirational, but I think we all need to remain positive and keep hope alive. The day will come when you will get your BFP and hopefully it will this Fri. Sending you lots of and keeping fingers crossed for Fri.

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I am so sorry I know this is so hard. I have been going through this for 3.5 years and have had 4 failed IVF cycles and refuse to give up. What has helped me is that I have been to several doctors and found that by switching doctors they run more tests and unfortunately have found more things wrong but can hopefully bring me one step closer to having my baby. What I usually do is take a month off of everything-drugs,doctors apptmts,and anything else that has to do with infertility and just relax with my husband. Then I get back in the game because unfortunately I feel with infertility time is not on our side. I believe though we have to be ready mentally so do what is best for you. I also believe that you are stronger then you think. We are always here for you Good luck

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I am sorry but it might be still early.....

How many cells was your embryo?? If it was between 4-7 cells then it was probably a late implanter and at 12DPO might not show on a HPT.....don't give up hope as of yet...

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I had a negative test the day before AND the day of BETA, my beta came back +. This is why they tell you to not POAS. Please do not give up hope. You have every right to be mad, upset, frsutrated, but you can not give up hope, for this cycle or (god forbid this doesnt work) the next cycle. I am so sorry you are feeling this way, i know EXACTLY how you feel. Many HUGS to you

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I can not thank you ladies enough. It gives me a little hope to think the maybe it can be a + Beta. I can only hope and pray still to find I shed these tears for no reason. I have so much in my head and thank god I can share here with you for your advice, strength and words of compassion.

Fingers crossed and prayers to St Jude and St. Gerard. Let me be someones Mommy..

Re: To all the strong ladies....

I am def not the strong one, but I just wanted to offer some hugs and prayers

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

bump

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

im so sorry.

if you are going to go for a second opinion i would recommend going to Dr. Braverman since i know a lot of ladies have seen him specifically after failed IVFs other places.

good luck!!

Message edited 9/3/2010 8:09:52 PM.

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I would consult with Dr B, hes wonderful...amazing dr.

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I am so so sorry, hang in there, in WILL happen.

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

RUN TO BRAVERMAN not RSONY

Message edited 9/3/2010 9:11:46 PM.

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I agree- Dr. Braverman is the best. I had two failed IVF cycles and he did extensive testing and found issues that my last clinic didnt. Also it seems that he is not concerned with statistics like most clinics are. Good Luck

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I am sorry! Dont give up, it will eventually happen!

It took me over a year to have this healthy pregnancy. (I am 25 weeks)

I never had any problems getting pregnant just keeping a pregnancy. I had two losses within the year, then to go on to find out I had blood clotting disorders and needed to take daily injections.

The losses devastated me ...it was a hard time but I knew I had to keep trying and go on with the Lovenox and other treatments. I knew how badly I wanted a baby and regardless of the outcome I would keep tyring.

It will happen!!! Stay positive!!!! It's unfair that some of us have to struggle to get to our child. BUT I PROMISE when that day comes, IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!

My suggestion is to get another opinion or two. I had gotten 3 opinions after my 2nd miscarriage. I wanted to be confident I was in the best hands, and get different opinions. I went to Cornell in the city and was very happy with them. I think if you are unsure with your current RE, it never hurts to get another opinion or two.

YOu are stronger than you think, and you will walk away from this all becoming a stronger person. b/c of it!!


I am sorry! I am keeping you in my prayers!!

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I am sorry. I will keep you and your DH in my prayers. Your day will come.

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

I'm so sorry

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

im so sorry

Re: To all the strong ladies....**Update 9/3

Im sorry to hear what you are going through.
I agree with the ladies on the board Dr. B is the most amazing doctor. I transferred from RSOFNY over to him and never regretted it for a moment. He truly cares about very single one of his patients and it shows.