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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
I loved a house so much recently....sure it was more than I wanted to spend. And not the IDEAL area but it had everything I was looking for and then some. My DH just didn't agree and so we let it go. I still feel sad and feel we made a mistake by passing it up. I don't think we will ever find another home to compare. I really think we made a mistake but what do you do when your spouse is not in agreement with you? Anyone ever been there?
Seriously, my heart hurts...I feel sick inside. I think it was the one for us for many reasons but my DH just didn't agree. I hope it was meant to be and something better is coming but I have to say I just don't think so.
Message edited 5/20/2010 12:11:00 AM.
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Posted 5/20/10 12:07 AM  |
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ladyofficer
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/09 735 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
I feel your pain, my DH is from Suffolk and is trying to get me to go out there. I GET IT- more land, less taxes, more house for your money, better environment for kids-etc. HOwever, I will be commuting to and from Queens during the PEAK hours! He seems to think everyting just "takes an hour"- not really not on Fridays in the summer, not when its raining. He commutes to the Bronx- but during OFF PEAK hours. Also, being in Suffolk is FURTHER AWAY from my family and friends. He's ANTI Nassau.
So, hence why we are moving into my moms in two weeks- WE CANT AGREE ON WHERE TO LIVE and expecting twins in 3 weeks!! He doesn't understand LOCATION LOCATION LOCVATION mentality. Yes we can affod Manhasset, Garden City, Glen Head but he refuses b/c he can't justify the PRICE - he thinks you don't get much for your $$.
HOW ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/20/10 7:20 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Posted by Goobster
I think it was the one for us for many reasons but my DH just didn't agree. I hope it was meant to be and something better is coming but I have to say I just don't think so.
If DH didn't like it, it wasnt the one for you guys.
Maybe the one for you 
You'll find another one that you both love.
I loved a house, Dh was ehhh about it. Loved the layout, kitchen,bathroom.
It didn't have a huge backyard and that was something DH really wanted.
So we passed on it.
I dont know about you...but if we went with a house DH didnt really want, I would have spent the next 30 years hearing, "see, this is why I didnt want this house!" 
Now I'm getting sad thinking of that house.
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| Posted 5/20/10 7:51 AM |
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
DH LoOoOoOoOoOoOoved our house. I saw many flaws with it. Out of the 80+ houses we looked at, it was the only one that he had very strong feelings about. I gave in and now I hate my house. OK, maybe hate is a strong word, but there are a LOT of things that I strongly dislike about our house. I wish that we would have continued looking.
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| Posted 5/20/10 8:31 AM |
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drewsgirl
My loves
Member since 5/05 3221 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
There was one house we looked out..i loved it, dh didnt as much, we put an offer on it but didnt get it...it was a little out of the price range we were looking for, but i could not believe, still to this day, that he didnt love it as much as i did since it had so much we were looking for..i still think about that house
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| Posted 5/20/10 8:46 AM |
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BabyFever10
St. Gianna Pray for us
Member since 9/09 1326 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
My DH didnt want our house - b/c he couldnt look past what it was and see the potential. But i kept giving him my arguments of why we should buy and eventually he came around
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| Posted 5/20/10 9:48 AM |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
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Helen
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
hahah YES! the house we live in now!  I STILL hear "you HAD to have this house" all the time! it's only b/c it needed work that he complains so much!
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| Posted 5/20/10 11:38 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Message edited 2/14/2014 10:17:23 PM.
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| Posted 5/20/10 11:44 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Posted by sleepie76
I dont know about you...but if we went with a house DH didnt really want, I would have spent the next 30 years hearing, "see, this is why I didnt want this house!"
Now I'm getting sad thinking of that house.
That's me. He told me he would "give in" and let me BID on it. I said I just can't. God forbid something goes wrong down the line, he will never let me hear the end of it. So I passed but boy does my heart hurt.
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| Posted 5/20/10 11:46 AM |
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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Yes. I loved a house. It was seriously overpriced but I didn't care
It was on a decent block (but def not as nice as where we are now but we would have had lower HOA fees) the exterior had to be painted (it was like a coral pink color  ) and it had popcorn ceilings that would have to be removed. Yikes!
The kitchen needed work - at the least we would have had to paint the cabinets and replace the counters. Needed new appliances. I kept telling DH it would be no big deal to renovate
I loved loved loved the layout. It had a pool - an amazing pool and yard off a lake - a lake that you could canoe in 
I loved this house.
I had to convince my husband how much potential it had - after fixing the ceilings and after painting the outside and doing planting. How new fooring and a new kitchen would really make it great...
We put in an offer that was realistic - like 40k less than asking. We went back and forth with these people for awhile. Their realtor knew they were overpriced and tried to show them comps and told them the house would never appraise for anything close to what they were looking for....In the end they decided not to sell b/c they wanted more money and they took their house off the market...
Even though we didn't get the house and I was initially disappointed I am SO GLAD. My DH's heart wasn't in that house. It would have been a money pit and we would have overpaid if they accepted our offer.
I think it's best to both be on the same page. I can see potential in things (of course after spending $$$ ) so a lot of houses we saw I would tell DH to imagine it a certain way (b/c I am the more creative one ) he usually had a hard time seeing past what was in the house...
We saw A LOT of houses. We tried to buy A LOT of houses. Our favorite is the one we got.
I think it's best if you are on the same page. If we would have bought that house we'd be living in shambles, we'd have no money to furnish it, and I think in the long run I'd be disappointed with the neighborhood. I'd have a seriously amazing backyard and pool but I think it would have put a strain on us...so in the end I'm glad I don't have to hear "I told you so..."
Message edited 5/20/2010 11:54:55 AM.
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| Posted 5/20/10 11:53 AM |
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Yes, I loved it, he didn't.
We bought it anyway. And I still have guilt about it. So I would maybe take it as a sign that something else is out there.
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| Posted 5/20/10 12:29 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
We had the exact same thing, we let it go too . I was upset for almost a few months, but I guess he was right bc we ended up finding something better that we both love.
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| Posted 5/20/10 10:21 PM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Yes. but it was more because it needed a lot of work. but if I could have taken that out of the equation, he would have loved it too. perfect layout, location, taxes everything. I dreamed of that house, and still think about it, I actually cried over that house. to give him credit, we did bid on it, but the bidding was out of control, and it was well above what it was worth and it had an all cash offer, something we could never compete with. so he did at least let me try for it.
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| Posted 5/20/10 10:57 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Not me but he was in love with one but I was just not going for it. Luckily we found one that we both loved. HTH
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| Posted 5/20/10 11:55 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Posted by staceyums81
Not me but he was in love with one but I was just not going for it. Luckily we found one that we both loved. HTH
Ditto.
We even hired the home inspector, did the walk through, the whole she-bang. I just couldn't do it - I didn't love the house or the block.
A contract fell through on our dream home and here we are.
Find something you both love. You'll get over the 'house that got away', I promise.
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| Posted 5/21/10 10:18 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
yes - when we lived in San Diego I fell in love with a small Spanish styled casita from the 1920's with 3 huge palm trees in front and a view of the mountains in the back.
too bad that the back of the house was literally falling off! DH didn't want to get into that I would hvae LOVED to fix it up to it's 1920 glory!
he did let me bid, but we were outbid by a contractor. he still reminds me about how much work that would have been.
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| Posted 5/21/10 5:37 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
Posted by ladyofficer
Yes we can affod Manhasset, Garden City, Glen Head but he refuses b/c he can't justify the PRICE - he thinks you don't get much for your $$.
HOW ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you can realistically justify the price for ANY house in this current market. Everything in Long Island is overpriced.
The only way you can "justify" it is to buy in a strong location that has plenty of luster to it, so when you go to sell you won't lose your shirt.
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| Posted 5/21/10 5:42 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Anyone ever love a house so much that their spouse wasn't on the same page about?
everything happens for a reason, you both have to be on board....don't despair, you will find "the one" 
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| Posted 5/22/10 9:19 AM |
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