I know she means well......

but I just called my mom with test results from Dr. B and instead of making me feel better she made me feel worse!! She didn't understand what I was saying and instead of trying to understand she just kept questioning Dr. B. Uhhhhhhh!

sorry just needed to vent. I may have to take a step bake and stop telling her everything.

Re: I know she means well......

I think that all mothers are the same My mom doesn't know anything about the RE that I'm seeing (Thank God!) but she knows about the cupping that I'm doing with my acupuncturist and she keeps preaching to me all the timethat he's probably harming me more than doing any good. And she says it all the time, like a broken record, she won't give up Thank God I never told her about the acupuncture that I do, she would totally freak out I don't think I'll ever tell her about the RE to avoid the obvious Of course, you know my mom and your mom mean well..... We just gotta love mommy!

Re: I know she means well......

I'm sorry!!

My mom does the same thing. She questions everything and comments on the whole process. I am now realizing the less I tell her the better.

I know for me, my family members' comments makes me start to Question my OWN choices. So I am realizing tell them the minimal, so you and DH can choose to do what you feel comfortable doing, without letting family influence you.

Sorry!

Re: I know she means well......

She probably doesn't fully get it, but as your mom, I"m sure she is just worried about you and doesn't want to think something is wrong.

Re: I know she means well......

Thanks girls! i think i was just a little overwhelmed. and i think I will leave somethings out when talking to my mom from now on.

thanks again! Hoping for some BFPs from you guys! LOVE seeing them

Re: I know she means well......

She definitely means well!!

My mom did the same thing at first because all this IF talk was like a different language to her! When my mom had me and my brother it happened literally on the first try..... and nobody else in my family has had fertility issues.

I feel like it's easy to say you will take a step back and not share every fertile detail but when push comes to shove I end up telling my mom everything down to my follie size and uterine lining thickness anyway!! Your mom DOES mean well and it seems you already know that!!

Re: I know she means well......

I remember when I was going through my issues to have Abby. Mom would say "All your father needed to do was touch his belt buckle and I got pregnant." Needless to say, Dad's pants were ALWAYS falling down as Mom had 4 kids (5 pregnancies).

Once I became more open with her, she started to offer us money for IVF - she did not know we were not IVF patients and did not know the difference between IUI and IVF. This was of course until she saw Martha Stewart's daughter on Oprah (or some other show) and learned how much it cost. After that, she kept her lips closed.

Once I was safely PG with Abby, and after my amnio, Mom and I had a tender moment just the day before she passed. She told me how glad she was that things worked out for us this time and she was excited to meet her granddaughter. Sadly, that never happened. Mom passed away when I was just over 5 months PG.

I think that many people of our parents' generations (mine were far older than many of my peers' parents) just don't know what to say. They did not have to deal with fertility issues. If people didn't have kids, they didn't talk about it. Medicine was not nearly as advanced as it is now to enable us all to have kids.

I had to hold back a bit, but I did cut Mom a little slack. Even though DH and I were going through the pain and disappointment, particularly after 2 miscarriages to have Abby, it was painful for her to see her child suffer with such sadness.

Message edited 4/1/2010 8:37:45 AM.

Re: I know she means well......

thanks for your respone goldi0218..I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom and your long road toward having your daughter.

I was just talking to my sister and I know part of it is that she is upset for me and doesn't know what to say. I'll just take it with a grain of salt and know she really does mean well

ps your daughter is beautiful!

Re: I know she means well......

Thank you. Hang in there. you will have your miracle and it is worth the wait.