When you first started

When you first started down this path, went to an RE - were you and DH on the same page? Did you have to do some convincing with DH?

I definitely have "baby fever" and we are getting older (34+) and had some not great results on some preliminary testing from the OB (SA not great, some minor issues with me) but DH would still like to wait a few more months before we even talk to an RE.

Just wondering about other experiences.......

ETA: We have been actively trying for about 8 cycles now, so DH would like to wait until it's been a full year.

Message edited 1/26/2009 4:55:30 PM.

Re: When you first started

We were younger when we went to an RE. We actually weren't even married yet. I had been seeing different dr's for my PCOS and finally decided to switch to an RE b/c they seemed more knowledgeable about it and I seemed to know more than most OBs.
My DH (at the time not even FH) went w/ me for moral support... and he was included in the first meeting session. It wasn't until after we got married that he got any testing done.
It could take some time to get an appointmeng w/ an RE. IMO there's no harm in making an appointment and going and listening to what they have to say. GL!
ETA: When it came for IVF DH was TOTALLY against it... it wasn't an option for him. Until my IUI got cancelled b/c I overresponded by A LOT and the dr said it was IVF or nothing. DH saw how destroyed I was in the car, sobbing hysterically b/c I thought we were done- to the point that I couldn't breathe and thought I was going to get sick. Then he hopped on board

Message edited 1/27/2009 4:23:32 PM.

Re: When you first started

it took DH a long time to come to grips with the fact that we may need some help.

Eventually it worked out.

Re: When you first started

DH was on board right away, but I had an ectopic pregnancy at 37 and we went from there..

Re: When you first started

I started with a RE at 33 after 6 months TTC with every trick in the book. I think it's common for the DH's to have some reluctance about babies in general, let alone going to extreme measures to get PG. Give him some time, he will come around. Best of luck!

Re: When you first started

DH wanted to wait it out a little.

It took a lot of factual talks until he agreed to see the RE.

Once she laid everything out he was on board.

Re: When you first started

DH was on board with whatever I wanted. But then again, he is 5 years older than me and I'm his second wife so he really wanted to get things moving.

Re: When you first started

DH and I are not always on the same page, especially at the beginning. I wanted to go to the doctors, and we did, but he felt I was rushing things. I'm glad we went when we did. Sometimes we're still not on the same page, as he is far more relaxed than I am about everything, but I think its different for women who feel everything and tend to know more about the subject. I'll just say communication during all this is so important, I think it makes you stronger.

Re: When you first started

Dh had been on board with all the testing even doing the SA but when the doctor mentioned IUI he was a little taken aback, but a couple of days later he said he has no problem with it, if thats what the doctor says then he agrees

Re: When you first started

It took my DH quite a while to admit we had a problem and needed to seek help. He just wasn't ready to deal with it and constantly refused my diagnosis of infertility.

I took him with me to my annual OB/GYN appointment so he could hear it straight from my doctor that there was a problem. He was more accepting after he saw that a professional agreed with had a problem and that I wasn't simply playing "internet doctor".

Re: When you first started

Luckily- my DH has been on board from the very beginning. I always knew I would have trouble getting pregnant, and he was with my for most of my ob complications- so he understood. We started trying when I was 20/21, got pregnant on our own when I was 21- m/c. We also started seeing an RE before we were married because we just wanted to get the show on the road.

Re: When you first started

Oh DH and I have come a very long way! He was not on board with any of this and it took me awhile too.
We didn't even want to consider IVF at the beginning. Our 1st time at the RE we told her we just wanted to keep trying naturally. Just getting on Clomid was a big deal. It has been quite a journey.

Re: When you first started

DH was on board when I decided (with the recommendation of my ob-gyn) that I should see an RE and start fertility testing. Even though I am under 30, I saw an RE prior to the 12 month mark. I am very happy that I followed my gut because I have seen with my RE for 6 months with no success.

However, DH has not been on board regarding IVF. I would have started it last month and he wanted to do one more month of injectables/IUI.

Re: When you first started

Not at first. He wanted to wait a full year, but with our test results not so promising (mf issues) he got on board before the year came around.

Re: When you first started

Once we got to the point of going to the RE he was totally on board and has been since. Now getting to the RE, well that's a whole other story!!


Shawnna

Re: When you first started

He was on board right away. I have very irregular periods so I knew it was going to be an issue and we discussed it before we even got married.

Re: When you first started

He was onboard as soon as we started with the RE. It took a lot to get him to realize we needed that next step but once his urologist told him it would be the only way to have a family, he was ready to get the show on. It did make the entire process a lot easier, especially since it was a long & winding road.

Re: When you first started

DH wanted to wait the full year of TTC not the full year I was off the patch to see an RE. I feel like we wasted 5 months but it took him 17 months to realize we needed to see a specialist. He really thought we could do this on our own without any help and would be extremely optimistic about it as each month passed. Now he is so supportive and sometimes tells me things I don't even know about IF.

Re: When you first started

Before we found out I had PCOS, we thought our only issue was his sperm count...he had a blockage & had surgery for it. I had to keep pestering him to get an SA, and then finally I turned 30, and I was like listen - we need to get rolling on this. And then I went ahead and made the RE appt. But that's how our relationship is. I have to take charge and then he follows lol. But I will say I think he hesitated because it was hard for him to accept that (we thought) it was him only that was causing our issues.

Message edited 1/30/2009 5:20:02 PM.